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Devoted April 2020

Mom put me in a hard place

Courtney, on December 28, 2019 at 10:38 PM Posted in Planning 0 5

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Over the holidays, I saw my aunt which is really like my second cousin (my mom's 1st cousin) but in the South we call everyone our aunt lol. Anyways, my mom was talking to my aunt about some Christmas card STD's that I sent out. My aunt was like well I didn't get one. Ughhh insert hard place here!

This is my second wedding. My FH and I are footing the bill for everything. I am not planning on inviting everyone in my family. I wasn't planning on inviting her because we never see them!
My response was.... oh well I didnt mail them out, I just tried to save on postage and handed them out to people 😳I didnt know how to respond, but now I feel since my mom said something that I will have to invite her to wedding. It will add 4 people to my guest list. Ugh thanks for listening to me rant

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5 Comments

Latest activity by Tracy, on December 29, 2019 at 3:16 PM

VIP September 2020
Neeva · on December 28, 2019 at 10:58 PM
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This happened to me recently too!
My sister mentioned my wedding infront of someone in her husband's family that I didn't invite and now I feel obligated to invite them. Adding 2 to the list and since I'm not sending a save the date maybe it will be okay? UGHHHHH
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Master May 2019
Cyndy · on December 28, 2019 at 11:18 PM
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I would maybe fill your mom in on who is invited and who isn’t so it doesn’t happen again.
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Dedicated November 2019
Victoria · on December 29, 2019 at 9:31 AM
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Moms are funny like that. I told her I was collecting addresses and she started asking for addresses I specifically said were on the potential cut list. Talk to your mom about it, if you don’t explain how it made you feel or how you fear they will feel when not invited, she might not get it. Let your mom provide advice on how to handle it since she caused it. Sounds harsh but you have enough to deal with, it’s okay to put some responsibility on others. Good luck.
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Master May 2020
Kari · on December 29, 2019 at 1:09 PM
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Yea, you need to loop mom in. My mom asked who was on our guest list so she didn't accidentally get into wedding talk with people who weren't invited.

We recently hosted Thanksgiving at our house with my FH's parents and cousins and his mom was very courteous and asked us about wedding stuff before his cousins showed up.

Regardless I wouldn't feel obligated to invite anyone not on your original list just because of that, unless you are having a huge wedding and left out some particular people that belong to a group where everyone else is invited. We are having a 60-80 person wedding and inviting select close friends and family, and there are more people not invited to our wedding than those who are.
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Beginner July 2020
Tracy · on December 29, 2019 at 3:16 PM
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Dont feel guilty. You have your invite list so stick with it. You have a budget so dont break it because your mom will tell a lot of people that you didnt invite. Keep your wedding as what you want.
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