Mom is ruining wedding planning

Remember parents used to lecture us and then say "I'm doing this because I love you"? Mom needs a 'lecture'. Do so out of love. Like you said it's YOUR WEDDING. Good luck

Girl, I feel you! Though I have never been very close with my mom, we are complete opposites. My mom is the type that gets so excited about everything and creates unrealistic expectations and then is super upset when you don't agree with them! When my mom decided she suddenly hated my inlaws, who I am very close with, it was very hard to deal with. She did not show up to my dress appointments because of it. She has argued with me non stop about details. She sent my niece flowers and a will you be my flowergirl card without asking me, the day after I got engaged!

It is super hard, but you have to just SPEAK UP! If she is doing something you do not like, nip that crap in the bud and let her know before it becomes a bigger drama! I told my mom if she was going to behave this way, she did not need to be involved in the wedding at all. This is about YOU and YOUR FH! You do not need drama, especially from your mother!

The threat of eloping (what I really wanted to do) was what really straightened my mother up, but for yours, it seems like that will not be enough since it seems like she is upset about finances. You and your fh might need to budget differently and give her less responsibility and see if that helps. I was prepared to scale back my plans and take full financial responsibility for the wedding if it meant less drama. If your father is apart of your life, do you think you could speak with him about her? Mine jerked a knot into my mom's behind when he found out everything she was doing (Daddy's little girl here lol). I also had my aunt speak to her about a few things, because if it came from me, she would have freaked out.

If all else fails, make it VERY clear she is being a horrible mother right now and if this continues, it is just a foreshadowing of future events with you and your new life. She does not need to be apart of your marriage, your future children, etc if she wants to throw a tantrum about every aspect of your wedding. It is hard being a parent to a parent, especially during what you thought would be a fun time for the two of you. Weddings bring out the ugly in families sometimes :\

There's a really easy way to solve this:
1. This wedding needs to be planned by you and your future spouse. No sharing = no mean comments. Done!
2. You and your future spouse should get your budget of what you two can afford. Not depending on somebody elses money = no being tossed around. Done!
3. You and your future spouse should contact vendors, get quotes, and work it into your budget. Decision making process in your hands = no input from anybody else. Done!
4. With you two paying for everything, you dont need to wait around for her guest list. No pay = no say. Done!
If you want the wedding of your dreams to be achieved with somebody elses money, then you're in for a show.

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This is spot on. Pay for your own wedding, stop sharing details with your mom and get on with planning what you and future spouse can afford. If that means a small wedding, so be it.

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This is spot on times two. If and when your mom begins complaining, ask her to pass the sour cream for the nachos and mention what beautiful weather we are having.

At this point, I would scrape up the money you and/or FI have and just plan the wedding you can afford. She is stressed for one reason or another, but no need for you to even try to figure it out. I have noticed that weddings make parents do weird things.

Currently no decisions can be made with her in this state, so plan as you please with the money you have.

My mom is the same. We were absolutely fine until doing anything for the wedding. Then she flips out on me about every little thing even non wedding related. This past weekend I broke ties with her and for the first time I had a GOOD dream about the wedding last night. I have been excited all day! As we should be! I don't have much advice honestly - nothing seemed to work with my mom at all. We're going to pay the remaining balances for the major vendors and do as much extra as we can. I wish you the best of luck!! Just don't let anyone take your joy away!!!

View Quoted Comment You spoke my mind!! My mom and I have always had a wonderful relationship, but I had to sit down with her and really tell her my thoughts a week ago in regards to her attitude and comments. Things have been great since.

View Quoted Comment Sometimes we have to. It's for the best. I can't tiptoe around my feelings. I'm grateful my mom is so supportive but it's necessary to let family know their place. Good luck S