Mom died a month ago... a friend asked if i was planning an alternative Mob!

I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine that anyone else would ask. Your friend’s question was incredibly callous, even if unintentionally so. You can just say no and move on or tell them that no one could ever take the place of your mom.

I am so sorry about your mom's passing, especially at this time in your life. WOW! That is extremely insensitive of your friend.... Honestly? I'd probably just give her a look that clearly indicated how rude that question was and ignore it/her. You're probably much nicer than I am; in that case, I might briefly mention there's no one in the world who can replace my mom, so that's not anything currently under consideration. If later, YOU DECIDE there is someone -- an aunt, grandmother, whomever -- that you'd like to be even a little bit involved (e.g., helping you get ready, etc.) you can always decide to do so. Hang in. I was much older when I lost my mom, and I still miss her everyday -- and especially when we were planning daughter's wedding; she would have LOVED every minute of it. Your mom will be with you in so many ways that day, but that doesn't help make it any easier.

I’m very sorry for your loss. I’m sure your friend isn’t coming from a bad place but that seems like an odd suggestion. There’s no replacement or alternative to your mom. There may be other important women in your life and if you decide to have them involved in the planning of the wedding it’s not a replacement. I can’t imagine someone else asking you that because it’s such a strange suggestion/question but I would just say no.

So sorry for your loss. But I agree with the other comments.

So sorry for your loss. I lost my mom a year ago today actually. No one can take her place. My future mil has been great but its just not the same. I doubt very much that anyone else will ask that. Ive found over the last few months planning that most people dont know what to say and can sometimes say things that are awkward or inappropriate. While not intentional it still hurts.

View Quoted Comment You were right about people sometimes asking questions that are awkward. She messaged me back today, saying that what she said was the wrong way to ask if I had someone in mind as a support system for the the day of the wedding as mothers are usually the support system, especially since my twin sister of my MOH.

I still can't bring myself to think about it as it's only been a month.

Give yourself time to grieve. I actually found that even though planning the wedding without my mom is hard it actually helped the time pass by. Its ok to be sad. Its a weird place to be, the happiest time of your life along with the worst.

I lost my dad several years ago so no parents on my side. Im not having anyone fill her shoes thats impossible but ive included my sister and brother in the wedding and thats enough for me.

I am so sorry for your loss! My mom passed 6 years ago and it still hurts. So many things I wish she was here for. No one will ever replace your mom. Obviously your friend admitted she messed up, but it sounds like she was still coming from a good place with the question, just worded it horribly. You have every right to grieve.