Moh/bridesmaids

Not a terrible person at all! It's your wedding, and you get to choose who you want to ask to be in your wedding party. One thing you could do is have two MOHs if you really wanted both of them as your MOH. Otherwise, just choosing one of them as MOH and the other as a bridesmaid is fine as well.

You could have two maids of honour. Other thing I would note is that you're not getting married until 2024. I would suggest waiting until about 6 months prior to the wedding to finalize plans for a wedding party.

View Quoted Comment Pushing it out to 6 months would stress me out a little haha. Especially if im in school i would like help from ym bridal party

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They aren't there to be of help though. Having someone in your wedding party is a chance for you to honour them, not the other way around. If you need help, it might make sense to hire a wedding planner or coordinator, and of course rely on your FI.

View Quoted Comment I would advise against expecting your bridal party to “help you with wedding stuff”. Their obligation is only to by the dress and show up on the day of. Everything else is optional, and any wedding planning activities should be done by the couple or a wedding planner/coordinator.


I asked by bridal party around 9-10 months out, so if you feel 6 months is cutting it close, you could do that time range. I felt it was enough time to get the bridesmaid dress and bachelorette stuff coordinated with my ladies.

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I guess it’s different for everyone then. My best friends have been wanting to help, etc. But thanks for your input.

I chose my bridesmaids 20 months before my wedding so I understand wanting to ask people early. It's really hard to not want to ask your best friends immediately.

I really do recommend that you don't ask them yet if you can't decide. If they're truly your friend they'd want to help you even if they weren't in the wedding. They can still be a friend and support regardless if you chose your bridal party or not.

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I agree with asking only when you're 100% sure.

Also, agreed that you can have 2 MOHs if you want. You can literally do anything you want so that it fits you! I had a Maid of Honor, and a Matron of Honor, and my best friend officiated the wedding but I included her in all bridal party activities.

I'm with you though, 6 months out would be a little too tight for me as well. I asked my MOHs and officiant 13 months out, the rest of the wedding party we asked maybe 8-10 months out, depending on if I was able to see them in person.

No one should expect that the promises made in childhood will continue on into adulthood. If your childhood friend is upset about not being MOH then she's not a good friend to begin with. I was MOH in my friends wedding and shes not MOH in mine. It doesnt hurt her feelings at all as I just became closer to someone else through college who lives closer and is able to help with things that the other cant. Your bridal party is for you, not pleasing others.

I also think the 6 month rule is weird. Anytime I've been a bridesmaid I've been asked much further in advance than 6 months out and my friends all knew they would be my bridal party before I was even engaged lol. I know friendships can change, but they can change in 6 months too.

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Unfortunately, I've seen so so many posts from people who regret early choices for a wedding party and subsequently are asking how to change that. Nothing needs to really be done before 6 months, and it may save some grief in the long run. I'm not saying it's like that for everyone, but there is a great deal of bridal party angst on here.