moh without a speech

I wouldn't ask you sister to step down but I would ask your FHs cousin if she would like to give a speech. You can tell your sister that the cousin will be doing a speech and just leave it at that.

I was my sisters MOH during my 1st year of college and we lived in different states. It was hard for me to keep up with everything for my sisters wedding. I know I dropped the ball at times but I would have been heartbroken if she would have asked me to step down. I was always where I needed to be and even made all the save the dates and put together the invitations.

I have my younger sister as my moh and my older sister as matron of honor. I'm alot closer to my older sister but still made my younger sister my moh bc we're sister's. She too have been uninterested in anything wedding related since my engagement. She's always been kind of selfish so I'm not surprised by her actions but just use my older sister (matron of honor) to be my right hand and she's happy to do it. My younger sister actually ask "do I have to give a toast because I really don't want to". I told her she don't have to do anything she really don't want to do. So I'll be having my older sister do the toast but as much as I would like to, I'm not going to kick her out the wedding bc that'll just cause drama I don't need to deal with. If your bm is ok with doing it I'd be happy with that.

Your sister hasn't done anything wrong. LThe only things wedding party members have to do is show up in the correct attire, get down the aisle, and smile for pictures. The best man and maid/matron of honor aren't required to give toasts (speaches should be occurring at all). If they want to it's (sometimes) a lovely gesture. With that in mind, I suggest just letting it all go. If you'd like to give the cousin a little something extra as a gift go for it, but keep it between the two of you.

Back in the day only the Best Man gave a speech. I'm not sure when MOHs starting doing them too but I don't think it should be a requirement of the role. If your BM wants to do one, fine, but personally I think there are too many speeches as weddings anyway.

My MOH who was also my sister didn’t want to give a speech and I understood. Some people don’t like to speak publicly or don’t feel qualified to give a heartfelt speech, but that shouldn’t be a condition of their “position” in your wedding party, and certainly doesn’t mean she doesn’t care. Your wedding is also so close and asking your sister to step down will only strain your relationship further, possibly causing permanent damage. Be a sister first, a bride second, and a petty bridezilla never. And if you only have one person giving a toast, great! Guests don’t like sitting through speeches anyway.

View Quoted Comment I agree 100%

Don’t ask her to step down as MOH, do ask your BM to give a toast instead. Asking her to step down would put an additional strain on your relationship which it doesn’t sound like you want. But speeches can be given by anyone. I know the “host” of the wedding is also supposed to give a speech (typically one of the bride’s parents) but I am estranged from my dad, and my mom doesn’t like public speaking so my brother is giving a toast instead.

Giving a speech isn't mandatory, but you can ask if they would like to or not. If they don't want to, you can't force it and if they do then that's great. And I would not ask her to step down, it just seems as though she is busy traveling, you can't hold that against her

You don't have to change the roles but you can ask your other bridesmaid to speak if she feels comfortable doing so. Sounds like she has a better feel for your relationship with your future husband anyway. Best of luck!

I would just ask your other BM to give a toast, and if you want you could also give her the title of maid of honor. There’s no rule saying you can only have one MOH. I’ve been to weddings where they’ve had more than one MOH or a maid and matron of honor, and only one has given a speech. So if your other BM is comfortable giving a speech I would ask her instead! Your sister isnt really obligated to do anything as a member of the bridal party other than buy a dress and show up at the wedding. If she doesn’t want to give a speech or put any effort into it, I would just let it go and not force it.