moh with a drinking problem..

Asking her not to drink at the reception will only make things worse. I do have a question though: Does she have an actual drinking problem or does she have a "going too hard at parties then being aggressive while drunk"? Because they're two totally different things. If she actually has a drinking problem, I would be more concerned for her well-being than how she might act at your wedding and look into getting her some help. If she just doesn't know her limits and is a total jerk when she drinks, that's something I would talk to her about. Has she always been that way when she drinks? You said you met in college, so I'm assuming you've seen her drink more than just the three times you mentioned. I would just talk to her as a friend saying that she's really not a nice person when she drinks because she tends to overdo it and that you know that's not who she really is when she's sober.

Either way, I wouldn't make this situation about your wedding at all. Your friend either has a serious alcohol problem and needs help or she just has a partying/attitude problem that needs to be addressed. Be her friend and either get her the help she needs or be her friend and be upfront with her about the way she acts when she's drunk. Friends should be able to be that blunt and honest with each other about toxic qualities. At the end of the day, if she gets plastered at your wedding and acts out, she will be the only one that looks bad because of it, not you!

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I agree with this 100%.

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I appreciate the advice Amber. Calling it a drinking problem is not the best terminology as I am not around her enough to know if it is truly a problem. That being said, from what I have seen her personality completely changes as soon as she starts drinking and that was never the case in college. I'll talk with her when I see her next time at my bachelorette party and I hope that she listens.

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Just make sure you do it alone! You don't want her to feel targeted or embarrassed in front of a group of people.

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Of course. We both get in a day before everyone else so it makes it easy to bring it up then.

I think the advice these girls have given is spot on. I really hope that she doesn’t truly have a drinking problem, as it’s something very hard to deal with. My sister is an alcoholic & we’ve tried to get her help a number of times, but - she is in complete denial about it. We used to be best friends, but have drifted apart due to this problem. I would have loved to have her be in our wedding party, but I worry that she’d get too drunk and embarrass us or cause us more stress. So, we decided to not have a wedding party at all. After reading a number of threads on here about having trouble with bridesmaids, etc. - I’m actually really happy we went that route. I can tell you, that if I asked my sister not to drink - she wouldn’t honor it. She’s able to justify it, “everyone else is drinking, so I can too.” Fingers crossed that she won’t show her ass at our wedding, even as a guest.


Is there someone in her life, that is around her enough to know if she truly has a drinking problem or not? Someone you could talk to? If not, I’d go into the conversation with her only discussing her behavior the last few times you’ve been with her.

My dad is an alcoholic and my sister asked the bartenders to not serve him at her wedding many years ago and let's just say it caused A LOT of issues and my parents still talk about how disrespectful that was to this day. Going that route is a bad idea.

If you are really that concerned, having a conversation about her behavior may be your best route. Maybe bring up the Vegas thing again and how she was bad mouthing you and let her know how much it hurt your feelings.