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Dedicated October 2020

moh to Bridesmaid??

Kassidy, on October 28, 2019 at 3:47 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 10

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I was a maid of honor for my close friend of 18 years. She was a bridezilla in her own way and we had some disagreements. So when I got engaged during her wedding process I asked someone else to be my moh. Everything went great with her wedding a few months ago so now I’m in the process of planning my own. I never told her I picked someone else to be my moh, mostly because I didn’t know how too. She is such a sweet girl and so far the only friend who actually cares and responds to my messages about wedding related stuff. The other girls, (bridesmaids and moh) never respond to my text. It honestly makes me really sad. I get they are busy and have their own things going on, but I just wanted their opinion on things, and to just get excited when things are coming together. In my bridesmaids proposals box I made a booklet with all the info and cost they needed to know about, one being, “Respond to wedding related messages”.
What should I do?
I want to ask the friend of 18 years to be my moh, she’s seems to be the only one that’s excited and listens. In my excitement and and frustration towards her I rushed into making my bridal party.
Any opinions on how I should handle this?
Should I try and have 2 moh so no ones upset?
Should I just make my current moh a bridesmaid and they friend of 18 years my moh???

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10 Comments

Latest activity by Jeanie, on October 28, 2019 at 10:42 PM

Master January 2015
null · on October 28, 2019 at 3:51 PM
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I would definitely advise against making your current MOH a bridesmaid, that will cause a lot of tension if not completely end your friendship. If you want your friend of 18 years to be your MOH, you can definitely have two. Either way, I would wait before asking since you do still have a year and it seems like your relationship with the friend of 18 years is a little wishy washy.
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Dedicated October 2022
Allison · on October 28, 2019 at 4:01 PM
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No. Just keep it the way it is and let it go. You're over thinking it.
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VIP September 2019
Mrs. Bubba · on October 28, 2019 at 4:31 PM
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I had 2 MoHs because they both meant so much to me.
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VIP September 2019
Mrs. Bubba · on October 28, 2019 at 4:31 PM
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Congratulations and 🍀‼️
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Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on October 28, 2019 at 4:39 PM
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You shouldn’t do anything about it. Your wedding is almost a full year away. What information is so critical that you need your bridal party to know this early? Your MOH should be the person who you’re closest to, not the person who responds to your texts fastest.
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Devoted July 2020
Brandi · on October 28, 2019 at 5:05 PM
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Agreed and the same way you referred to your friend as a bridezilla, it’s really possible
that you’re also taking on those same sentiments. Anywho, you don’t have to do any changing to your party. To make someone your MOH because they’re responsive isn’t a good enough reason. However, if this is something you really want to do, she’s married. Make her your Matron of honor.
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Devoted September 2020
Jennifer · on October 28, 2019 at 5:20 PM
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I agree with PP, and just wanted to add a reminder that your bridal party's only real responsibility is to show up in the dresses you've picked or agreed on, and stand by/support you on your wedding day. They aren't really required to help you plan the wedding, as that is you and your FH's responsibility and honor. Some MOHs or bridesmaids might be awesome and ask you questions and talk about the wedding with you, but it's important to remember that they all have their own lives and stresses going on and they might not be able to spare the mental space right now this far out from the wedding.
That said, in a few months, if you still feel that you and the 18-year-friend have stayed really close and you want to honor her with the title of MOH, it's totally fine to have two.
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Lady · on October 28, 2019 at 5:49 PM
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This. I wouldn't respond to wedding related things a year out either, especially in a group message (which are totally the worst, btw). Also, lots of messages that brides send do not require a response, like if you're just relaying information. Make your friend another MOH if you want to, but it's really crappy to "promote" someone because they answer your texts the fastest.
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Devoted May 2022
Laree's · on October 28, 2019 at 6:34 PM
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If your original MOH isn’t married you can keep her maid of honor and make the married one your matron of honor. Just a thought. I mean I know it’s basically the same thing but it sounds a little different. Lol
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Super February 2020
Jeanie · on October 28, 2019 at 10:42 PM
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I wouldn’t demote your current MOH. That would be insulting, and could create drama that you don’t want. Just add a second MOH. It’s no one’s business but yours of why you have two, and it’s pretty common these days.
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