Moh stepped down

Why would she want to step down? Doesn't make much sense to me.

Ultimately, she's made her decision so I would just have her be a bridesmaid and not have a maid of honor. I would not promote someone else to maid of honor because that would make them feel second best and make things tense overall.

View Quoted Comment She says that she doesn’t deserve it like the other bridesmaids do because they have been contributing more then she has.

View Quoted Comment Well you can reassure her that contributing isn't why she is your maid of honor! I don't think anyone should think that their role depends on what they do for your wedding! It's really about what they mean to you
Sorry she backed out

This seems a bit strange--what are you requesting from your bridesmaids? This really only makes sense if you're putting undue or excessive expectations on her...?

The MOH title usually goes to someone you have known longer, or currently feel closer to, than the other bridesmaids. How can she " not deserve it?" More likely, she has seen or heard of those LISTS of honors and responsibilities of the MOH, which include helping bride choose her dress, being brides personal social secretary for all things bridal, being in charge of all BM, coordinating the shower, coordinating the bachelorette, helping the bride plan and block out the ceremony, helping address invitations, helping write thank you notes after the shower, and giving a brief speech at the reception. All things which some MOH sometimes may do, but which lots of media presentations blow up into a list of doing everything. Let her know that you chose her as MOH because of how you feel, but that other than standing next to you, she has no other specific things that are different from all other bridesmaids. An honor, not a job . When she finds out she was chosen as an honor, not for what you are expected to do for her, she can relax.

Definitely take a moment to do a mental health check-in. I’ve only heard of one friend who’s MOH did the same thing but didn’t want to be in the wedding. She didn’t even attend the wedding, moved states, changes jobs, very radical behavior overall. I agree it’s a bit odd so use this has a sign to focus on her for a bit and check in, where’s her head at. Where’s this coming from, does she simply need a break from things including the wedding? You’ll only know by talking to her and being open to what she says. Sometimes people want to be part of your day but have their own challenges to deal with.

I am so sorry this is happening to you. My former best friend dropped out of my wedding all together. She was supposed to be my maid of honor. She told me she couldn't handle the stress of being in my wedding. I had no clue what she was talking about because she had done literally nothing for my wedding. My mom, husband, and sister-in-law (who was a bridesmaid) had tried contacting her about planning my shower, but she would never respond. Prior to them contacting her, she had reached out to me wanting to plan my shower and bachelorette party so when my mom and sister-in-law asked me about it I told them that my former friend was also wanting to plan my shower which is why they reached out to her. None of us ever would have expected her to help plan if she hadn't told me first that she wanted to plan these things. My mom even tried telling her not to worry about the cost because my mom would cover any costs she just wanted my form friend's input on selecting food and decorations. My former friend told me she was the maid of honor in a friend's wedding the week after mine and that was part of the reason she couldn't handle being mine, but it turned out that friend never even got married. It also turned out my former friend was badmouthing my husband and I to friends and family which is why we aren't friends anymore. Before I found out the things she was saying, I tried telling her how important it was to me that she be my maid of honor and she wasn't required to do anything even though her mind she was. It sounds like your friend thinks she is required to handle things even if you didn't tell her she was. I would sit down with her in person and tell her that you don't care if she plans a thing that the reason that you picked her to be your maid of honor is because she is the person you are closest to. I would try reassuring her, but if she really doesn't want to be your maid of honor there is nothing you can do about that.

View Quoted Comment I’ve requested nothing at all, shes been planing my bridal shower along with the other bridesmaids and they all did so without me asking. I let her know that I request nothing at all just for her to be with me on my big day.