moh or no Moh???

She offered to fill the position, but I decided in the end not to have one.

I agree. What "duties" was she not fulfilling? You mentioned she's still a bridesmaid, so I would assume that she's planning to purchase a dress and come to the wedding. What else do you need? I would take some time to reflect on how you're treating your bridal party if you've already gone through two maids of honor with an entire year to go before your wedding.

1) I'm not mistreating anyone. The first one had nothing to do with the wedding, it was a falling out. These things happen. With this one, she was never a MOH to start with, she offered to fill the position and I decided against it anyway. She's not buying her own anything. She can't afford anything so her parents are doing it for her. She's a great person, and she's obviously going to be my sister-in-law, but she's not emotionally/mentally capable of planning anything or supporting more than herself, which she can barely do at times.

I was simply asking if anyone else has had problems with people judging the "traditions" they choose to have/not have in their wedding. Not looking for judgments on how my planning is going

No one has duties, but instead, the bridal party will often choose to plan parties and do things related to your wedding but it is not required. While often the MOH takes the lead on this, it is not because she is required to, but rather, she often does it because she is your closest friend. I had 3 bridesmaids and no MOH because I didn't want to choose one over the other. They worked together to throw a shower and plan the bachelorette party.

That's also a part of it. Any pitching in for planning, None of my girls are in any position to plan much. My fiancés sister isn't capable, and my other two, one is 17 and doesn't know how to go about it, and the other is 19, but they're both in school. They're pitching ideas, but they're just going along with everything. Which, again, is fine. There's simply no leadership in my girls, and no planning ability.

I think this is the ONLY helpful response I've gotten on this. Thank you for making me feel a bit better on dealing with other judgments..

I haven't dealt with this exact issue but more so that we aren't having any bridal party other than I did ask my cousin to be my maid of honor and he asked his dad to be his best man. Neither were given any duties, no specific clothes to buy and aren't going to be walking down or standing with us. For us, it was more of an honorary thing because they both mean so much to each of us. My sisters however are somewhat peeved that they weren't chosen to be bridesmaids but again, no actual bridal party and I am closer to my cousin. Regardless, it seems that with wedding planning, nothing you do will please everyone. It is your day, you do it how you want to. They are your memories!

I didn't know which one of my friends to make MOH so I didn't make one... I need to figure out what to do for speeches I guess, but otherwise, nobody has said anything about it.

Sounds like you're caught in a tough spot. If you feel like your fiancé's sister can't fulfill everything and neither can anyone else, don't have a MOH. Don't worry, you and everything will be fine!

Definitely go with what you want to do for the wedding. Plenty of people choose not to have a MOH or bridal party in general! It sounds like your second choice was more 'just to have someone.'

Depending on how understanding your family is, I'd say that you thought about it. But you just can't imagine anyone but your former friend being a MOH, and you don't want to choose one just to choose one.

That's just it... If I'd wanted one of the other girls to be my MOH, I would have chosen from the start. I don't want to just fill the roll since it's "tradition"

It's your wedding and do what you want.

My is different- I have 1 Maid of Honor; 2 Matron of Honors and 1 Bridesmaid. I had 2 but one back out. I also have a Honorary Matron of Honor that is kind of filling the extra person but she will not be front in center. She is doing so much to help out with this destination wedding she is actually my Event Coordinator.

I say do what you want it is your day and this is your first wedding- whatever makes you happy.

My sister in my MOH. She is 20 and in college and still lives with my parents. I know she won't plan any parties or anything with my bridesmaids, but that's fine with me! For my bachelorette weekend, I'm telling the girls what I want to do, which is a lake day. My bridal shower will be thrown by my mom. I don't think there are any special duties that need to be planned by the MOH. I think giving her the title of MOH is a special way of showing her how much I care about her and want her next to me. I know it's not about her, but I think she would be hurt if I gave her the same title as my friends.