moh Nightmare!!!

Hi Iris! I'm sorry you've had to deal with all of this while trying to plan your special day. Do you know if she has been going through a tough time? You know her best so has she ever acted like this before, or is this out of nowhere? I know you said she never responds but I would maybe try to reach out and ask her to grab coffee or something to chat about non-wedding stuff and see if anything is going on. It's definitely odd that she hasn't been involved in the planning process when she is your MOH but I would check in with her and then continue on with your planning. Hope the rest of your planning goes well!

I agree with PP. To disable her facebook seems like a rather large response to only wedding related issues, I would also want to check in with her and make sure all is ok. There maybe something going on in her life you dont know about.

I would make sure you send her a letter in the mail letting her know that your sister has taken over her duties and why, also a text and a phone message.

People are Cray Cray and she might show up at the wedding with online dress thinking she is still MOH, people are crazy. Make sure that she is 100% aware that she has been dropped.

I do not blame you one bit. If you cannot do the job, do not take it to only waste everyone's time and upset people.

Okay,, well to be fair as a bridesmaid she doesn’t have to be there with you when you go dress shppping, plan a shower or a bachelorette party, or do anything except show up in the dress you ask. But I would be more pissed that she’s dodging your calls and ignoring you. That would make my blood boil. Perhaps she just didn’t want to talk about the wedding so much, perhaps she is drowning in debt or medical bills, or something is wrong with her kid. I’m not saying that gives her a right to sort of blow you off, because I’m sure if she just kept you in the loop to why she’s blowing you off, you would be more than understanding, empathetic, and kind to her. But blowing you off is not cool.

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Though I agree that she doesnt have to do any of those things, she was also aware that it's what I expected, so if she didnt want to do any of those then she should have declined. But I disagree on the dress part, she absolutely should have been there for her dress fitting. And it's rude to not try and get to know any of the other girls, especially when I planned a weekend getaway for that very reason. The reason I say "at least to this wedding" is because she has still posted on her instagram -she's fine, her kids are fine, she is just not responding to any wedding related stuff. I don't want my MOH to just show up the day of, doing her own thing no less. I've never known her to be like this. I think thats why I'm so upset.

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The reason I say "at least to this wedding" is because she has still posted on her instagram -she's fine, her kids are fine, she is just not responding to any wedding related stuff. I don't want my MOH to just show up the day of, doing her own thing no less. I've never known her to be like this. I think thats why I'm so upset.

View Quoted Comment I’m sorry you feel that way. She does not have duties, because she is your friend. Not your employee. Lower your expectations. To expect those things of your moh is really presumptuous . Not everyone gets a shower, or a bachelorette party, and it’s not the maid of honors job to be the bride’s slave. She shouldn’t be blowing you off- and that alone would make me mad and that would be a good enough reason to not have her be maid of honor. But you will probably ruin your friendship with her- so if that’s what you want, then go for it. Some people are really crappy at communicating with other people and it sounds like your moh is. It’s not okay to blow you off like that. Maybe she’s sick of your wedding or talking about it, because it’s all you ever talk about. Maybe it’s not, but just remember no one is as excited or obsessed with your wedding as you are. So just keep that in perspective.

And just because she seems “fine” on social media- doesn’t mean she isn’t struggling financially, fighting with her boyfriend, her parent has cancer, her kid has cancer- etc. I wouldn’t post my issues on fb or Instagram either because that’s really immature. But so is not communicating with you. I’m sorry you’re going through this but I think it’s wrong for you to expect those things from your maid of honor. She doesn’t need to be bffs with your other bms. Like your wedding is one day. She’s there for you, not the other bridesmaids. I wish you the best of luck and I’m sorry you’re friend is treating you like crap. Friends don’t let friends be in the dark about their lives. It would hurt me that she wasn’t communicating with me more than anything.

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I can see how I'm coming off as a B but do not think I am being unreasonable in asking her to get fitted for a dress or meet anyone before the wedding. And if it's too much for her to go to dress fittings and hair/makeup appointment and don't have the time or money then why not just decline is my point? I hardly think expecting her to somewhat be a part of this wedding is slave driving.

As you said, some people don't post all of their drama on social media. But the shower, bach party I completely understand. The complete disregard to be a part of something that you agreed to is not and I for one would never do that to my friend on her wedding.

View Quoted Comment Listen. Your friend is acting crappy. I'm sorry you feel the way you do. I hope you aren't disappointed. Good luck.