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Super March 2020

moh May Not Be Able To Walk Down Aisle

kymarmck, on January 17, 2020 at 12:13 PM Posted in Wedding Ceremony 0 15

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Hello everyone! I can't believe we're 63 days out!!

I have a unique question. My MOH is battling some health issues that causes her immense pain when she walks/stands. She is going through treatment but it's an EXTREMELY slow process so it's taking longer than expected.

She keeps saying she'll hopefully have enough adrenaline/ibuprofen to walk down the aisle. I don't want to have her overexert herself or feel like she's obligated to walk down the aisle (and I've told her multiple times we can ALWAYS work something out).

I want to be prepared for anything, so what are some recommendations for her if she can't walk down the aisle and refuses to use a wheelchair or cane? I've tried looking it up and the two ideas that could work for our venue would be:

1. Have her pre-seated in a pew and then I would pass my bouquet to her before I get to FH.

2. Our ceremony location does have a stage. The steps are really thin so we could probably find a chair to put her in on the the stage itself. My only concern is would it be weird to have her on the same level as the officiant as FH and I will be on the second step leading up to the stage.

3. Could we reverse the line up of bridesmaids? So MOH would have a chair on the floor she can sit in and then my sister (bridesmaid) would end up being the closest one to me?

I'm sure I'm worrying over nothing but on the off chance she absolutely cannot walk, I want to have a plan so that I can mix things up no problem day of!

Thanks!

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15 Comments

Latest activity by Laura, on January 22, 2020 at 7:06 PM

Super March 2020
Jennifer · on January 17, 2020 at 12:36 PM
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If this were my ceremony, I would see if she can walk in and stand until I get up there until FOB is seated. Then perhaps she could give you a few words of encouragement and walk off and sit down. That way you can have a meaningful photo with her but also not have her stand for more than she can handle.
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Master September 2019
Sherry · on January 17, 2020 at 12:41 PM
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I would talk over it with her. I would definitely prepare for the worst, that she will not be able to walk and have a chair ready to be seated at the front where she would be standing. If she is worried about being embarrassed about having to stand, maybe have the bridal party to have the front row reserved and after the others walk down, they can all sit there instead of standing up with you and your FH, she can already be seated.
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Super September 2019
Meghan · on January 17, 2020 at 12:51 PM
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I would say see if she can at least stand or sit at the front of the stage. A lot of times the groom is there with his best man, so I think the MOH waiting up there too wouldn't seem so weird.
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Super March 2020
kymarmck · on January 17, 2020 at 12:58 PM
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That's the plan that we have right now assuming she can walk! I like the idea though of her giving me a few words of encouragement and then maybe hugging so we get a sweet photo like that??
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Super March 2020
kymarmck · on January 17, 2020 at 1:03 PM
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The hard part is she doesn't want to talk about it because she's in denial. She feels bad that she's in so much pain, even though I try to tell her it's not her fault and I'm wanting to do what's best for her so anytime I try to have an honest conversation about logistics of the ceremony she kind of shuts down.
She's told me in the past that it would not bother her if she sat down while everyone was standing, but that she's not sure the best way to do it so that she isn't interrupting the flow.
It will probably be worth trying to have another candid conversation though just so we can come to an agreement and then not have to talk about it until the day of the wedding
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Super March 2020
kymarmck · on January 17, 2020 at 1:04 PM
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That's true!
I wonder if then we could just have herself and the best man already standing up there and then once everyone comes to the altar, the best man can help her walk down the stairs and sit down!
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Champion June 2019
Gen · on January 17, 2020 at 1:32 PM
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I think option #3 sounds the best to me of the choices presented... but I’d also ask her what she feels most comfortable with.
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Devoted October 2020
A · on January 17, 2020 at 2:04 PM
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Wheelchair with her escort pushing her? That would probably be the closest to the traditional way. But I would have a conversation with her to see what she would like; some people can feel awkward/embarrassed when temporarily disabled
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Super March 2020
kymarmck · on January 17, 2020 at 4:34 PM
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I'll definitely present all three options to her and also ask her if she can think of anything else! Thanks!
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Super March 2020
kymarmck · on January 17, 2020 at 4:35 PM
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She does not want to use a wheelchair, unfortunately!
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Super March 2020
Jennifer · on January 17, 2020 at 5:01 PM
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Yes! This sounds perfect. But definitely have a back up plan. If she is in that much pain I'd just have a spot up front for her. No walking needed.
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Dedicated October 2020
Joanna · on January 17, 2020 at 5:52 PM
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Can a groomsmen/ usher/ best man walk with her down the aisle then?
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Dedicated October 2020
Joanna · on January 17, 2020 at 5:53 PM
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I should add that I almost fainted in a wedding I was in and had to sit down. If she needs to sit in a designated pew, everyone will understand. I hope everything comes together!
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Super March 2020
kymarmck · on January 21, 2020 at 1:06 PM
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FH's Best Man will be escorting her down the aisle which is why she thinks she can at least walk down the aisle because then she can lean on him and have him support her better while she walks!
After seeing all the recommendations I definitely think I'll reserve a spot in a pew in the front for her to sit down. I definitely don't want her feeling like she's obligated to stand up the entire time (or even walk at all).
I'm sure it'll all work out in the end!
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Super September 2026
Laura · on January 22, 2020 at 7:06 PM
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I would have all of the bridal party seated after they walked up the aisle. Then the only ones standing would be you, fh, and the officiant. Many religious weddings have this as the default. So, I don't think it would be odd at all.

Groomsmen walk in, Bridesmaids walk in, MOH walks in... You walk in... Hand her your bouquet and then take your place by FH. Then the officiant can signal for everyone to sit. If she can stand that long - it would be less than 5 minutes or so...

This means the guys have a pew and the maids have a pew to sit on. It keeps it consistent.
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