moh issues

What do you want her to do? I think to cause issues like you said maybe depend on the other ladies more.

View Quoted Comment Yes great idea

Does she know what is “required” of her? Did you have a talk with her at all on what you will need help with? I think going around her defeats the purpose of asking her. Just communicate what you want, otherwise you might make it more of a thing than it needs to be.

The only "duty" of a MOH (or a BM) is to show up on the day, wearing the correct outfit. If she's offered to do other things, you could talk to her about things you need done, and see if she's willing to help. But being "done" with your best friend of 30 years over this seems pretty extreme.

Telling you to let her know if you need anything could be her way of saying ”I’m here for you, whatever you need, just let me know.” Personally, I have told many, many, many people to let me know if they need anything in various circumstances. And each and every time I have literally meant “please let me know if you need anything, and I will do it for you”. I think it is unfair to expect your MOH to be able to read your mind and somehow psychically know exactly what you want. I think you just need to communicate with her what you need help on, and give her the chance to provide that help

What do you consider her duties?? She asked you if you needed anything, why didn’t you say then what you’d like her to do?
My maid of honor has planned the shower with my mom completely on their own, and 2 of my bridesmaids are planning my bachelorette party.
My fiancé and I planned the wedding. It’s our wedding, no one helped us, and we didn’t need any help. Keep in mind your bridesmaids still have full lives going on, this is only the most important day to you and your fiancé. I’d go to him if you need help. And be upfront with your friend about what you want her to do instead of silently fuming.

View Quoted Comment That’s my point exactly... she is suppose to plan things on her own that’s why Maid Of Honor is called a MAID she is suppose to take charge just like your MOH! She knows what to do already.... take charge. Let’s communicate! So I’m giving the position to someone else.

I would encourage you to rethink this and communicate with her. They don’t have any duties unless you ask or they say they want to do something. She has a life too. Moving people around or demoting her can very likely result in ending a long term friendship and i really think this is a petty reason to do so.

View Quoted Comment Maid literally means unmarried woman in this case. You need to take a giant step back and realize how you’re behaving about your supposed best friend.

What do you expect her to do? In my opinion, the only expected duties of a MOH are:

-Be supportive of the bride

-Help make sure the bride is relaxed on her big day

-Give a toast at wedding

-Plan a Bachelorette Party (with this one bride needs to be involved on guest list and date)

Everything else, you need to ask her to do if you want her to do it. She may not know you want her to do other things. What is the harm in asking her? I don't understand why you are upset.

What are her duties? My maid of honor helped plan the bachelorette and bought her dress and showed up. That was about it.

View Quoted Comment

Whoa, so you think she should be acting as your maid? I am genuinely trying to understand you. In your mind, this is a "position" that comes with required duties that has duties that go beyond "let me know if u need anything." She sounds like she is trying to help you. Communication is definitely in order, and it goes both ways.

This makes me so sad for your friendship if you think your best friend is not acting like a good enough employee (actual maids are paid) to be in your wedding. I sincerely hope you reconsider before you lose a 30-year friendship.