moh Help

If it were me, I'd prefer to have a detailed list of costs and budget. That way I can accurately tell you whether or not I can contribute to it all! You could also just get a general range of what the total cost would be for each girl and just ask them either in a group or individually if they feel comfortable with that amount! If there are any problem areas, you can easily pick them out and find more budget friendly alternatives!

I think the first thing to do is reach out to each girl individually and see what her budget is. Then see if this plan will even be doable. I would talk to them all as soon as possible. I’d also let them know that the hotel cost is based on 2-4 people sharing one room.

You should ask each person what they are comfortable with contributing per person (i.,e is everyone comfortable with $300pp, etc.). Then you will have your budget and be able to plan the event from there. But get their input FIRST, not the other way around where you tell them how much it will cost. As you are all paying equally, everyone get a say in the total budget. And I think communicating as soon as possible is a good idea so everyone can start saving if they need to. August isn't that far away!

Thanks so much for the quick response: Follow up...bridesmaids pay or ALL guests pay? I'm assuming Bridesmaids but I want to make sure before I make invitations and stuff

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Personally I think all guests should pay. That includes anyone invited that's not in the bridal party.

EDIT: Minus the bride! I've always heard of everyone else splitting the bride's portion. If she wanted to, the bride could pay for drinks one night, dinner, or any cab fair!

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If I were a bridesmaid, I wouldn't mind covering some of the bride's expenses, but I sure don't see why I would have to cover all of her guests' expenses as well.

I think you should ask them for their budget (and give them a way to respond to you privately) AND provide an itemized list of what you are planning, letting them know they can opt in or out to each activity individually. Some people don't know how to answer the budget question if put on the spot. It's easier to look at a "menu" with prices and decide of some or all of them work for their budgets.

As for timing, it's fine to share all of this now, but make sure you give them the response deadlines that each activity requires.

Okay AWESOME! Thanks everyone! Kicking planning into high gear by the end of this month so everyone can start planning. It helps that all guests are generally local (except little old me!) The hotel is just so no one has to drive home drunk or pay a lot for an uber.

If it was me planning it, i'd want to start off knowing where everyone is comfortable with in terms of budget and costs knowing that it's gonna be a night stay somewhere. i would probably do my research and give an estimate and say ok here's an example i found where it costs $300 a night [split would be $40-60 a person or whatever] etc. like if i was an attendee and i saw a full estimate of how much it would cost, it would give me a better idea too of costs

If you want to keep costs manageable, keep it local to one evening out without an overnight stay anywhere. Not everyone is comfortable with the idea of a weekend trip unless everyone in the group is bestest friends with each other *and* they are all extroverts.

Also as the bride, she doesn't participate in planning beyond providing a guest list and date of availability. Someone else will be hosting it.

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Thanks! I am actually considering a hotel with very flexible cancellation dates so that if people don't want to stay in a hotel they don't have to by any means. Just wanted to provide a safe landing space for anyone who gets too inebriated to get home.

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I agree with this! I would also like to add that it's not typical for bachelorette guests to pay for decor (rather, that's typically a host responsibility) and I'm not sure I understand the group gift thing since it isn't a shower. But I have also heard of a lingerie shower or something similar being included in a bachelorette party....so if that's sorta what you're talking about, I would suggest that each guest purchase their own gift (so they have complete control over that). Best of luck!!

I would first ask, individually, what everyone's budget is. Once you know how much everyone is willing to spend, you can come up with a list/itinerary with estimated costs. This way everyone will know what to expect and you won't be stuck with a bill at the end.

Once a budget is decided, making a group text or email thread with you and all of the girls would be super helpful with planning.

I went to a bachelorette party where the MOH had a google document that, every time it was updated, it sent us a copy so we could all keep up with expenses. At first I thought it was a touch overboard, but in the end, it was super nice to have.

I would email all guests the costs for each activity broken out, and make it clear no one had to attend every event, only what they chose to attend.

Also, I don't think covering the brides expenses are necessary or should be a prerequisite to attending. $40 pp for 5-8 girls on top of an extravagant bach party seems way over the top. As MOH/host, I would plan on covering any decor, favors, matching Ts and gifts for the bride. Guests should only have to cover their own food, drinks and activities and offer to cover the bride as they choose, randomly throughout the evening.

I'm stuck on the 2 rooms for 5-8 girls . . . I don't want to share a bed with a random, and I'm sure I'm not the only one. I would try to keep things to where people don't have to sleep with strangers - just my opinion though.

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I agree with this. The host should pay for any decorations. There should be no expectation of a group gift. The only thing that the attendees should be responsible for is things like food, drink, travel, and accommodation.

If you are not hosting this event by yourself, paying for all ( and most batch are not) , you need input from all concerned from the start. First, whether they want an all night overnight, or just a winery tour. Second, spa costs. I have never been to one with dresses purchased, and that is a place where many would want their own clothes. 8 in 2 rooms, or in at least 3. The gift. Some weddings,the bridesmaids give a group gift. Others, each one is spending $100-250 on their own wedding gift, and do not want a separate gift. General time commitment. Remember that the standard bach party is part of one day, or one evening out with the bride. If all want more and can afford it, fine. If time or money, or too many things on the calendar come up, a $150 budget for an evening out may be what the majority wants. Ask now. Detailed planning does not need to happen this early. But a budget and time commitment does. Remember, you are planning one. But the WP themselves may have 1-4 other weddings in a summer, and may not want to tie up 4-12 weekends with weddings and prewedding parties, but instead have single afternoon or weekday showers, and single evening bachelorettes or RD.