moh help!

I would reach out and talk to her and not straight away about wedding details but to see how she is doing and let her know you miss her!

Just talk to her like she's your friend-- which she is! You obviously thought you were close enough to make her your MOH when you chose her and if you take that away from her now, be prepared to lose that friendship for good.

Instead of focusing on the fact that you don't feel close and don't think she should be MOH anymore, why don't you focus on rekindling your friendship for the sake of friendship? Treat her like a person, not a prop in your wedding day.

View Quoted Comment

All of this! Friendship works both ways and a good friendship, the kind MOHs and bridesmaids are made of, can withstand a couple of months of not hanging out as often.

Be a friend first and a bride second. If you want s closer friendship, make the effort.

View Quoted Comment

Yes! This!

My MOH is my best friend of almost 10 years...I haven't seen her since I tried on dresses at the beginning of July. We just have radically different schedules, I work a 9-5, she's in the food service industry and lives with her boyfriend about 45 minutes away from me. But we still talk all the time, and have made plans for FH and I to meet her boyfriend for the first time tomorrow night. There have been times when we didn't hang out for MONTHS at a time...I think I didn't see her for the entirety of 2015, actually...but we're still best friends and I wouldn't want anyone else standing at my side when I'm getting married!

View Quoted Comment

Exactly this. I can go months without seeing my closest friends, but we pick right up where we left off as if no time has passed. Life is a lot busier and more complicated lately so we do what we can to be there for each other, but they will always be my besties.

Growing apart as you get older and life changes is perfectly normal, that doesn't mean you don't still care about each other. A friend of mine and I were inseparable when we worked together and now I can't remember the last time we hung out, but we talk from time to time and still know we're best friends. I agree with the PP's that you should reach out to her and be a friend before a bride, she meant enough to you to ask her to be MOH, she should still mean that much to you unless some bad blood occurred.

Have a heart to heart with your friend before making a final decision. Maybe you'll find there's something going on in her life that's been difficult for her. Always be a friend first, bride second

If youre upset with her, let her know and take it from there.

Also, you didn't really give much information. I don't understand why you're so upset about all of the good advice you have been given based on your two sentence post.

Thank you.

None of us were trying to be mean, but you didn't give any information other than you "grew apart", how are we supposed to know what that means? And most everyone said to just reach out to her and talk to her, there was no way for us to know that you had already been doing that and that it was all coming from her end that she wasn't putting effort into your relationship.

Don't expect to get perfect advice if you don't explain the whole situation. We're all on here to help each other.

Fair enough. I’m sorry I’m so emotional about it it’s just been a very heartbreaking few months.. I never thought she’d stop talking to me or wanting to hang out. I understand everyone’s lives are busy but after seeing her out at the bar in the town I live in 40 mins from her house.. it just seems like all my fears of our friendship falling apart seems true.

View Quoted Comment

I'm sorry that this is happening for you. It's always painful when you're planning the happiest day of your life and people decide they no longer want to be a part of your world.

It sounds to me like her actions and avoidance of you are deliberate, but I don't know her side of things or what her life is looking like. I'd try very hard to have a frank conversation with her, and ask her if she really wants to be a part of your wedding. To me, your bridal party is more than just people who stand there and look pretty for pictures, they're people who love you and want to be a part of your day. After all, it's called maid of honor, so it's an honor for them that you want them there with you.

Friendship heartbreak can be real and a deep cut, it's an experience that not enough people talk about because platonic love and relationships aren't seen as important as romantic ones.

View Quoted Comment Thank you so much. I appreciate it. I know I have to have a real sit down with her and see where her head is at..I’m just beyond dreading it.

View Quoted Comment

It's definitely hard having that confrontation, with anxiety and fears about your friendship swirling around in your head, but it's necessary and you'll feel better afterwards. I wish you luck with everything that happens, and the WW community is always here for you

Thank you so much! ♥️♥️♥️

View Quoted Comment

This is such sane, sound advice, and I just think you need a high five for it!

I think it's easy to get defensive at times and to read comments that aren't what you want to hear as 'rude'. However from an outsider perspective, none of these are rude. All the posters actually seem to be trying to help you, and are very empathetic.

Edit - Saw you weren't looking for more responses. Sorry. Wishing you all the best!

Do what you feel! My best friend of 30 years is not in my wedding because when I look back at my pictures I want to see live for my wedding. Sometimes you have to face it and just exit them.