Skip to main content
ARE YOU A VENDOR?

Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

T
Just Said Yes February 2020

moh had to step down.

Tabitha, on November 1, 2019 at 12:56 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 12
Saved
Reply
So I’m getting married a little less than 4 months away. Everyone has their dresses and everything. My Matron of honor who is family had to back out. Her son passed away a few months back so she’s just dealing with a lot. I understand why she needs to so everything is good there. But now I’m not sure if asking my future sister in law who is already a bridesmaid would like to step in as MOH. She and I are already close and do a lot together. She also stepped up on her own and took charge of planning everything else because she knew my previous MOH just had too much to deal with. I’ve had people make comments about who I’m bumping up (non of the bridesmaids asked they were just worried about how I’m doing with my cousin stepping down.). I don’t want the new girl to feel like a replacement, but she’s already stepped in to handle everything else to make sure it gets done. It seems like a no brainer to me and everyone else that’s asked that she would be the one to fill in but I just feel like there’s no winning this.

12 Comments

Latest activity by Alex, on November 4, 2019 at 10:17 AM
  • Sonya
    Dedicated February 2021
    Sonya ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I think it's a good idea.. I would do it personally.
    • Reply
  • L
    Lady ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I would not. I think it's kind of a slap in the face to your MOH who had to step down to be replaced by someone else - especially with all she's going through. Your BM is certainly welcome to plan things for you, etc.

    • Reply
  • A
    Dedicated October 2022
    Allison ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    No. I would not bump anyone up. It's a really crappy situation but it seems like all of your remaining girls are awesome. I would perhaps make sure that your sister in law is standing immediately next to you at your wedding and maybe get her something a little extra for a gift in private for really stepping up, but I wouldn't make a huge deal about it. I don't think it's a situation where any drama needs to take place (not that it seems like it would but people tend to feed off of this stuff and I feel like you probably have more important things to think about).


    • Reply
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    No. That’s offensive to both your MOH who had to step down and the person you’re using as a replacement.
    • Reply
  • Mcskipper
    Rockstar July 2018
    Mcskipper ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I simply wouldn’t replace her. Everyone knows their original place and the situation, so I’d just leave things be. There’s no need to have someone with the title, really. Just have this other girl be the one who gets to stand closest to you at the ceremony
    • Reply
  • Jill
    Expert April 2020
    Jill ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    My MOH is being deployed and missing the wedding (found out after I had already asked her). I am not replacing her as she was asked to be my MOH for a reason. I would leave it as is!

    • Reply
  • T
    Just Said Yes February 2020
    Tabitha ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Thanks ladies! I really wasn’t sure what to do in this situation. It never crossed my mind at first but when people started asking I wasn’t sure. My MOH was one that did suggest asking the other girl but I still didn’t feel right about it.
    • Reply
  • Jeanie
    Super February 2020
    Jeanie ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    In your situation, I think it would be ok. Just tell her that you want to acknowledge her taking over so much more than she signed on for. As far as the one who had to step down, I would let her know at some point before the wedding if you do “promote” the other girl so you can explain why.
    • Reply
  • Jennifer
    VIP August 2021
    Jennifer ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I would get her an extra little gift or offer to let her do the speech, but keep her as a bridesmaid, honoring your cousin and her as well!

    • Reply
  • Caitlin
    Devoted June 2021
    Caitlin ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I would not bump anyone!
    • Reply
  • Cher Horowitz
    Master December 2019
    Cher Horowitz ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I think it could be offensive to move another one up. I'd just keep things as they are!

    • Reply
  • A
    Super August 2020
    Alex ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I would say since she is already stepped up to do the work, there is no issue in asking her. You could say something like how much you appreciate her taking on responsibility without being asked and if you would do you the honor of being your MOD.

    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×

Related articles

How to Write a Best Man Speech in 9 Simple Steps
Speeches & Traditions How to Write a Best Man Speech in 9 Simple Steps Been tasked to write a best man speech and not sure where to start? Follow these...
6 Steps to Finding the Right Wedding Officiant
Officiants 6 Steps to Finding the Right Wedding Officiant To help you choose wisely, we talked to experts to uncover how to find a wedding...
How to Create a Wedding Guest List: A Step-by-Step Guide
Wedding Guests How to Create a Wedding Guest List: A Step-by-Step Guide There is no way to sugarcoat it, the guest list can be one of the toughest parts...
Read more articles
WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Learn more

Groups

Show more

WeddingWire article topics