moh frustrations. Long post.

Hey ladies. I'm looking for some advice. I don't know what to do. This girl was my best friend when we were 9. She was my first friend made after my dad passed away and didnt just treat me like that weird girl with the dead dad. By teenage years I still called her my best friend, but she has never been the best kind of friend. I was always a back burner for her. Other people have always come first. Junior prom she was supposed to come do my hair, but never showed. my date (7 years later my FH) curled my hair and wiped away my tears. But every time her other friends aren't giving her enough attention, or are too close to each other, she comes crawling back to me. Calling and talking for 3 hours, showing up at my house with popcorn and a movie.
When I got engaged (3 years ago tomorrow) she shared my Facebook post and said how excited she was her Best Friend was finally engaged after 6 years with the man of her dreams, and she couldn't wait to stand beside me as maid of honor (a position that was promised when we were 13). I know I should have said something then, but I didn't. Instead, I decided to have two MOHs. Her, and my was/is current best friend. I worried she wouldn't be a good MOH. That nothing would get done/planned with her. Then flash forward to my first bridal expo and she was actually really excited to go with me and my mom. We went just the 3 of us like it used to be when were were young and we had SO much fun. I finally thought maybe just maybe I would matter for this one event. Then 4 of her friends and her sister got engaged. Suddenly I stopped existing. She wasn't very kind when I asked her to go dress shopping with me after I had major dress regret from the dress I bought online. The week after, she called yelling that she "couldn't handle one more unprepared bride" in her life and that I needed to get serious about planning. I tried explaining that we were at 8 months out and I had my dress/venue/invites designed/dj/and most of my decorations done. Then the very next day she went to the BIG (way bigger than the one we had gone to) bridal expo with every other bride in her life and never once thought to invite me. I wanted to go but my mom was unavailable and my other MOH lives 6 hours away. She told me she couldn't come to the bachelorette party because it would be too expensive (literally only would've had to pay her own food/drink), but then took her boyfriend to an NFL game 4 hours north instead.
I have reached out 10 times in the last 2 months to get together to wedding plan with her. She usually doesn't respond, and when she does cancels last minute or doesn't show.
I sent out a text today to all the girls. It had the date and time for the bridal shower with the links for the pieces to the bridesmaid outfits and gave them a deadline to order by the end of January. The total outfit comes to just under $60.She called me tonight, told me she couldn't request off the saturday for the bridal shower but she gets off at 1:30. The party starts at 2 so she'll probably be late. Then she went on about how she doesn't know if she can order the stuff by the end of january, but she will order it when she can. The skirt is 6 weeks shipping. End of january puts delivery in March and the wedding is in April. She has more than once bragged about how much more money she makes than me, and she lives with her sister and her sister fiance and doesn't have rent or anything. She has told me in the past that the dress for the wedding she was just in was $160, the dress that she has already bought for the wedding she is in in May was $185, and how what she is wearing for her sister's is $150 and will need alterations. What she needs for mine is $60. Once again, I'm not a priority. My wedding isn't worth spending $60.I really thought that sending the text today she would just back out gracefully. I even put in the group text that if anyone did not want/could not afford to be in the wedding (bridal party was all picked 2+ years ago) that my feelings would not be hurt but to please let me know ASAP. My problem is that my whole family (FH, mom, sister and even my real MOH) all think I need to remove her from the bridal party. I know they are probably right. Every time I talk to her I end up upset. But we were closer than sisters for so long. She was my confidant. We survived everything together. Her family is all invited to the wedding, as they were always my family too. And I know that if I remove her, I'll be losing that friendship, and that family. I'm heartbroken because I know what the answer probably is. I just hate it so much.