My made of honor who I’ve known my whole life recently dropped out of my wedding after ignoring me for months on things. She told everyone she booked my bachelorette party but never did and left everyone scrambling. She said she is buying a house and is stressed out and told me over text she isn’t going to be part of my wedding. Yet is still saying in another wedding I know she is part of. She hasn’t answered my text for a week now. I’m to the point where I want to uninvite her to my wedding. But want some other options considering she already knew I was going through a lot with my fiancé being deployed and dealing with his mom who has been causing wedding issues. I feel like it was very inconsiderate of her to text me and now is Ignoring me.
That does seem very inconsiderate. The way you handle this next depends on whether you want to keep the friendship or not. If you’re ok with completely ending your friendship forever, then uninvite her. If you want the friendship to continue, I would see if you can give her a call and talk it out. I would try to understand where she’s coming from and just asking her how she’s doing. Buying a house is super stressful, does she just think she can’t be a maid of honor because you’re expecting a lot from her?Does she want to be a bridesmaid instead? Does she still want to come to the wedding?If you do want your friendship to continue I would just have a talk, I wouldn’t say anything about her being in another wedding but I would just check in with her to make sure she’s ok and there’s not something even deeper going on that she’s afraid to tell you over text.
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I already tried letting her know I understand and offered her to step back on some duties so I can let someone else handle some things. But she kept insisting she had it. I told her I understand her stress level because on top of wedding planning I’m working on getting a house with a fiancé on deployment and a different state from where I am currently. She just wasn’t giving me much to work with and randomly just said she wasn’t going to be part of the wedding and hasn’t answered me since.
I would talk to her before you uninvite her completely. There may be more to the story than you know. For example, my two best friends decided to get married in the same year. I had committed to being the maid of honor to one when the other told me she wanted to get married within 8 months and wanted me to be her MOH. I had to say no because of financial reasons, plus I didn't think I would be able to dedicate the time to helping with both, especially since the second one's was happening so quick. She actually got upset with me because she didn't hear out what I was just saying and assumed something else, so we didn't speak for a while either because it was really hard for me to make that decision and it was really hard that she wasn't understanding my point of view. Not saying that is the case here, it may not be, but she may feel really bad for not being able to be a big part of your day like that. Don't forget, MOHs have a lot of responsibility and if your other bridesmaids aren't reliable, everything could fall on her. Some people don't realize that at first and then when it happens, they can't take it and bail. If you try discussing it with her to see her side and understand where she is coming from and she still ignores you, I would question if that's really a friendship worth holding onto. Maybe even ask her straight out if she wants to be a part of your day at all and explain that while you are willing to understand her point of view, ignoring you isn't the way to go.
Oh I would be disappointed and upset, and personally would uninvite her to the wedding especially since she lied about booking your bachelorette party and never did, then decided against being your MOH but is in another's wedding. I would feel like I'm not a priority as a friend. Even with her not responding to you, that says a lot. Actions speak louder than words.
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I get what your saying but I had two maid of honors to split the duties and from my understanding she really didn’t do anything so far it’s only been the other girl. Plus I know it isn’t a financial issue. It all kinda stemmed from the bachelorette party and planning it.
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Yeah that’s how I’m feeling. I feel like she could have at least called me. Or answered my texts to talk it out. But she just has been ignoring me and I haven’t gotten a response from a week ago. I’m mainly upset with how it was handled not necessarily that she stepped back.
I don’t know the whole story in the past before that, but base on what you say, it’s too much disrespect from her end. Therefore, I don’t think I would care about her anymore in your position. You chose her as MOH, which is an honor. If she cares about you she would never done that. I would uninvite her and move on. Sorry OP, but it’s better to keep friends who cares about you and who deserve your care. It’s both ways. ❤️
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It’s completely understandable that you’re annoyed, I would be too. I’m not sure if this was all said by text, if it was I do still recommend picking up the phone and talking it out. Texting just doesn’t help because tone can be misinterpreted so easily. But again, if you want to uninvite her that’s fine, but I would only do that if you’re ready to let this friendship end completely.
Its very clear she is going through something but the amount of disrespect she has given you is ridiculous. I would call her and personally uninvite her and tell her you are disappointed and she could have just talked to you instead for lying and betraying you. Its not ir to you or the other members of your bridal party
The fact that she is remaining a part of another wedding but not your wedding raises some red flags to me. That makes me think this is a you and her problem, not just a her problem. Maybe ask if there is something that you did that upset her and apologize in advance as whatever it was that you did was (likely) not intentionally done to hurt her. Sometimes stepping up and taking the blame (even if you feel like you have done nothing wrong) and being proactive opens more doors than just asking her why she has done the things she has done as she is clearly resistant to speaking with you right now. Just my thoughts, I personally try not try to burn bridges but I know others like to cut out certain people when they feel it is appropriate. Uninviting her would be the final nail in the coffin on that friendship though.
Woah that is tough. If she's been a great friend until this wedding planning then I would still invite her. If she has been unreliable, mean, etc several times for a year or longer before wedding planning started, then I would uninvite her