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Just Said Yes March 2020

moh drama

Rosemarie, on August 7, 2019 at 10:49 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 9

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Posting an update...lol
I’ve had some issues with my engagement ring and needed to get a new setting. My MOH got mad at me for picking an engagement ring and wedding band that was similar (somewhat) to hers. I picked a simple channel set setting and wedding band with diamonds halfway around. Nothing crazy..very common actually. My first instinct was to tell her all the ways they are different from hers (there are many). I reached out after our initial convo and told her she hurt my feelings by dictating what I can and can’t get. She never answered.

Fast forward to today. She called me and flipped out saying that I’m copying her and that she can’t be friends with me if I don’t change my rings. Which I refuse to do. I told her how our friendship should be about feelings and connections, not objects. She is the best friend I’ve ever had but at this point she isn’t acting like one at all. I really tried to explain how silly it is to end a friendship over an object, and that what I wear won’t affect her day to day life. But she insists that it will. At this point, I told her that she needs to get over it (I would love an apology but doubt that will happen) or if she can’t get over it, that the friendship will end. This is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever been through, but it still hurts. Did anyone wind up not having a MOH? Or kicking someone out of the bridal party?

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9 Comments

Latest activity by Sara, on August 8, 2019 at 12:03 AM

Devoted September 2019
Kaleka · on August 7, 2019 at 11:12 AM
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Am sorry your have to deal with this. I don't think you should have to change your engagement ring to please and or make your MOH happy. You weren't btrying to copy her and or be like her, she should be your best friend and hype you up, like am sure you did when she got married/engaged. I definitely say if she isn't able to get over her child like feelings, and she isn't willing to talk like an adult the best thing would be to remove her from your wedding party. I hope you guys can work it out!
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Legend June 2019
Melle · on August 7, 2019 at 11:16 AM
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I didn't kick anyone out but my friend did for hers and after she did she was never really friends with them again.
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Master January 2021
Andrea · on August 7, 2019 at 11:16 AM
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I'm sorry, but that's no friend. I couldn't imagine someone calling me telling me "I'm not going to be your friend unless you change your ring." That is downright ridiculous. I would remove myself from that "friendship." A pair of friends who genuinely love each other and care for one another would honestly not obsess over materialistic things. I almost can't believe this! LOL just shockingly horrifying. Someone that you regard as your best friend is making such a demand! It's unreal. Honestly, if I were you, I would keep the ring you have and let her deal with it. If she doesn't like it or severs the friendship, that's fine. That's on her. How ridiculous she will look when people find out the truth. Really sad. And sorry you've got someone like this around you. I think I would be horrified, disturbed and really hurt. I have an MOH who is twice my age, she has always been there for me and I love her with all my heart. So I can't relate to your situation per se. My youngest sister did something really wrong and I've told her it's best she not be a bridesmaid anymore and she doesn't seem to care whatsoever. It's things I can't have on my wedding day. I don't want any negativity. And the last people that should be bringing negativity are those you've asked to stand up for you. I would just let this go. If she wants to end the friendship over the ring, she was never a friend. That's just how I perceive this.
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VIP September 2019
Melissa · on August 7, 2019 at 12:04 PM
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This is so ridiculous. She needs to get over herself. You should not have to change your rings for her. You said the ring is very common and also different. Nobody will ever be staring at both your hands at the same time to even notice the similarities. And if they were (which I find weird) who cares? I’d love it if my bff and I had similar rings. She needs to let it go. I would distance myself from her until she cools down. I wouldn’t kick her out unless you want to completely end the friendship. Hopefully she will come around and realize how absurd she sounds.
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Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on August 7, 2019 at 12:25 PM
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I feel like she’s going through something else and is taking it out on you. Or maybe it’s just difficult for me to believe that someone could act so ridiculously childish. Actually, if I got the same ring as my 5 year old niece she would be super excited, so I guess this is beyond childish. If she can’t let this go, it sounds like you’ll be better off without that “friendship.” There’s nothing wrong with not having a maid of honor, but I would focus more on the immediate situation at hand instead of your wedding.
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Just Said Yes March 2020
Rosemarie · on August 7, 2019 at 12:47 PM
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Lol I totally agree. I’m so happy I had her on speaker and my FH could hear. His jaw was practically on the floor. I felt like I had no idea who I was talking to...Now I’m just worried that I’ll think of the drama when I look at my rings and i shouldn’t because they’re about me and FH. NOT her. But it’s hard! But I do love them. And if it wasn’t this...I’m sure it would’ve been something else down the line.
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Just Said Yes March 2020
Rosemarie · on August 7, 2019 at 12:49 PM
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You are so right. And I so appreciate your supportive words. My only concern is that I think I’ll look down at my rings and think about this petty drama. But even if I change them to something else, I’ll still think about how I didn’t get what I really wanted. So either way, my anxiety doesn’t help! Lol
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Super October 2019
Kellie Martinez · on August 7, 2019 at 1:01 PM
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2 of my bridesmaids are gone because they are inseperable.. they hangout legitimately everyday and I hungout with them about once a week and they said I didn't hangout with them enough so I can relate to a friendship ending for a ridiculous reason. I have friends that I hangout with every 3 months because we are so busy so constantly feeling like I needed to spend all of my time with them was really stressful and overwhelming. I was really sad for the past month but I'm starting to realize that it is such a relief to not feel that way anymore.

I'm so sorry a long term best friend would make you feel this way. It is so immature and disheartening.
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Expert October 2019
Sara · on August 8, 2019 at 12:03 AM
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I am so sorry this is happening to you!! That wouldn’t be a good friend telling you what to wear for your ring.
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