moh drama

Why did you ask a second time if she had already given you an answer? I could understand the frustration for her there, people often get tired of wedding talk pretty quickly. It's not really about designating "responsibilities", it's about who volunteers to do what. Sounds like she's only interested in planning the bachelorette, I'd let the other bridesmaid plan the bridal shower since she offered. They should both be invited to both events anyways.

You shouldn't be a part of this in the first place. If your bridesmaid wants to plan an event, go for it. If your sister wants to help, she can offer to help. You shouldn't "bestow" anything upon your MOH because you assume she wants to do it. If she wants to do it, she will offer.

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Just knowing my sister, I knew and wanted to make sure she didn't have any plans or desires to plan the bridal party because my bridesmaid offered. Then my bridesmaid asked me if it would be okay because my sister is the MOH so she didn't want to step on any toes.

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Well you asked once and she declined, then you asked again. It seems like she's giving you an answer, you just aren't happy with it.

Honestly the bride isn't supposed to be in charge of planning her bridal shower or bachelorette party. Your bridesmaids and MOH should be discussing planning. If you have a bridesmaid that wants to plan then step back and allow her to plan. She is an adult and I'm sure if capable of asking the other people in your bridal party for help if she wants it. As for your MOH, I really doesn't sound like she wants to be involved so let it go.

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I just felt like she didn't tell me the truthful answer so I wanted to give her another opportunity to say her peace before I let the bridesmaid know that it's okay for her to plan it.

I feel like you should tell your friend what is going on and maybe her and your sister can work something out and leave you out of it and it will also avoid more drama in the end

Let the two of them work it out between them. You shouldn't be involved in working out who is going to throw what party in your honor.

It generally is not up to any one person to plan a party, unless they volunteer to. The only ones to pay for anything are those who had choices in planning . Plan alone, pay for everything by yourself. . . . Wedding parties are not specifically a duty of the wedding party. Any close female friend or relative who is invited to the wedding can plan a shower, or a bachelorette, with others, with bridal party, or by themselves, if the are interested, and have the time and money. And bridal party people do not have to do them at all, though as closest friends and family, they often volunteer. It can be nice when someone not in BP plans or helps, who does not already have the expenses if a dress and grooming as BM. And either your mom, aunts, or cousins, or groom's, might want to participate, or to have one shower for family and leave it to friends or BM to do your friends. Or contribute food, or offer a home or yard for a shower .