moh Drama...possible drop out

What does this make you want to do though? does it make you not want to be her friend anymore? or just to distance yourself from her?

View Quoted Comment I really don’t know what I want to do, I don’t feel like I want her as MOH anymore, I feel like everything she did Or planned was in some shape self serving...but she is my cousin who has been there for me in the past...I’m so torn...
Because she’s family especially and I’ve been drilled that family is everything my whole life and I’m a people pleaser, I HATE that she’s up set with me, but at the same time I’m PISSED at her for how she’s acted and treated me AND others...

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I guess my thing is, is this really only a realization for things related to your wedding?

for instance one of my bridesmaids didn't get her dress til three days before my wedding and she had lied about getting it earlier than that AND she wanted to go to coachella rather than my bachelorette day even though we already set my bachelorette day way before coachella came out [she just randomly decided to get it] AND she forgot the party favors for my bridal shower. when we rescheduled my bachelorette day [it ended up being better to reschedule anyway] she was late to a lot of stuff and went to run her own errands in between.

what i'm trying to say is ... as annoying as she was during the process of it all, at the end of the day i never questioned her friendship because 1] i knew her personality was a hot mess of chaos and disorganization to begin with aha and 2] because at the end of the day she still tried for me 3] isolated instances don't make up for her entirety of the friendship

sometimes people can be really annoying about things ya know? but it could just be a phase. evaluate how she is overall. i know she hasn't made this process for you any fun or better, but i would just examine whether you think she's really a bad friend or she's just being annoying about certain things

I would just write her a note and tell her that I feel it’s best if she wasn’t your maid of honor any longer. Just let her know that it’s been causing conflict and if she doesn’t want to attend the wedding that you would understand. This is the most important day of your life. You need as little drama as possible.

2020 has made people do some really crazy things. Covid has brought out the crazy in people, one way or another. Spend some time on other wedding forums and you will find a bunch of people coming down HARD on anyone having a wedding this year or even next.

I will say, it sounds like your cousin has kind of a controlling personality. You may be looking at this with bias since you're upset with her, but that's the vibe I got from the whole post.

If I were in your shoes, I would text something along the lines of "Hey, I've been thinking about the wedding and I can tell you're not comfortable with what we have planned. Would you prefer to step down as MOH, and attend as a guest instead? That way you can let me know later if you aren't comfortable attending." If she steps down, great. If not, then it's on her.

And then...ignore her negativity. Don't initiate text conversations with her.

"So you want to go out of town? Well I can't do that with the kids" "I'm sorry to hear that, we went with what worked for the most people. We will miss you!"

"People are going to get sick at your wedding" "We have alternatives worked out and precautions in place. We understand if people can't or don't want to go."

Obviously if things get much worse between now and October I assume you'll cancel but some people, like your cousin, aren't going to be satisfied with anything. If you're confident in your decision to move forward then just be polite but firm and don't entertain her.

She convinced you to spend on things you don't need? You're an adult, "no" is an easy word. Don't blame her for your decision.

You need to simply accept her not doing things, " Oh, we will miss you, but understand kids come first." Not try to accomodate or change, yourself or her, at this time. And you focus on your stage of life. Getting married. As far as she is concerned, just focus on not doing or saying anything you cannot get past in the future. It is okay to say, right now, we are at cross purposes. You are seeing life through Mommy eyes, me through a bride's. So lets agree to disagree, and spend time together next year.

View Quoted Comment Right on 👊fist pound! I think the same thing, covid19 got ppl mindset on a selfish level. When family should be pulling together.
Im pretty much going thru a headache with my wedding party. Ppl ask for the position but dont want to do anything & im learning that most people now days dont think the wedding party suppose to do anything. But how i grew up your wedding party was your support mentally if nothing else. Ppl host parties for the bride & groom to celebrate them & your MOH help wherever needed. But They barely want to help you in your dress let alone host a party for ya. Guess we need to start putting the b.maids back in ugly dresses🤔 lol🤷 but i wish you all well & hope everything works out for the best. What God have in his will for us will be done for our good. If your love stands the test of covid it can stand the test of time. Bless it be ALL🙌🤗