moh doesn't want to share responsibilities

Hmm I would talk to both of them - let them know they are a team for planning and also mention the things you DO NOT want (like people you don’t know coming tot he shower or only having ppl that are invited to the wedding )

You can't accept someone's offer to throw you a shower and then dictate how they plan it. She is the hostess, she doesn't have to take help from someone else if she doesn't want to. I would, however, tell her that you would like to be in charge of the guest list. That's pretty typical anyway.

Hmmmm... Maybe play coy and say you want to verify the guest list. Maybe ask what is your sister helping with our a happy medium she can plan the shower and your sister plan the bachelorette?

I'd simply say hey make sure you're working with my sis on this. Put it out there.

1. An individual may plan a shower alone. But only she pays for everything and only she does all the work. No planning then expecting others to pay or do anything.
2. Any very close friend or family member, not necessarily a bridal party member, may offer to plan a shower. It is not the property of the MOH. And the bride can not just quarrel with details, like I want a more expensive place, or catering, or essentially holding people up for more. BUT ... If the person offering to do a shower is offering something the bride just does not want - like having it in an area of a bar, which bride thinks will distress older family, or when drinking is against some people's religion, or having a couples shower plan, when the bride wants only women there, or when the hostess is inviting people who are friends of the hostess not invited to the wedding ...Then, it is proper etiquette for the bride to turn down the offer of a shower, saying, " what you are planning is not what I want for a shower. " . . . Decline the MOH offer of a shower. It is not okay for her to treat your sister as unable to contribute to the plans, while using her as labor. It is extremely rude to invite her friends to a party whose point is to shower you with gifts. They are not friends or family of yours. They are not invited to the wedding. Talk with MOH, or write to her, and explain. And say NO to what she is doing. Do not let her do rude things in your name, associated with your wedding. Do not let her bully your sister.

I'm not sure how I feel about you stepping in. I can absolutely see why you would because I think your MOH is being a little unfair, but you could also make things worse if you say something.

At the very least, I think you should tell your sister to refuse to buy anything for the shower if she doesn't know the details and why she's buying things. If your MOH wants to plan the shower alone and not let people know details or have a say in what is happening then she certainly doesn't get to demand that other people pay for things.

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I agree with everything said here. It's her choice if she wants help from anyone else

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Agreed and I tell you what, I was a BM and for the bachelorette the MOH did everything without including me which was fine because she also paid for it. I agree if she wants to host it without including others then she cannot expect money from them. Sorry but you want my money you need to include me ha ha.

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No she doesn't get to dictate how the host plans the party. However if the host wants someone else to buy stuff, she needs to get input from that person not just send them a list of stuff that needs to be bought. I have no problem buying stuff for a shower but you better believe that if you want me to buy something ,I'm going to have input on that stuff.