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Savvy October 2020

moh craziness

Ashley, on September 3, 2020 at 11:47 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 8

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So I asked my sister to be my maid of honor and she since has done nothing. I planned my bridal shower, asked my friends to help with the bachelorette and she has been MIA. My wedding is in a month and today when asking about the stuff for the wedding—she blew up on me saying she is stressed with her own life and doesn’t want to worry about the wedding. I am so hurt and in ah that someone can be so selfish. How do I go about having her apart of my wedding day? At this point I don’t want her even in the wedding party but it makes it hard because she’s my sister

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8 Comments

Latest activity by Harmony, on September 15, 2020 at 2:05 AM

Legend June 2019
Melle · on September 3, 2020 at 11:50 AM
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Have you asked her what's going on in her life? because if she blew up and said she's having her own issues, i think maybe you should check up on her and see what's up.
i totally see where you are coming from though because you just want some attention for your day and support but i think it sounds like she also needs support.
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Expert December 2020
Bo Miller · on September 3, 2020 at 11:55 AM
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I agree with Melle it sounds like maybe you need to talk to her and probably should have awhile before just to make sure everything is okay. I feel like a lot of brides expect their MOH to do a bunch of things (bridal shower bach party) when in reality it isn't a requirement. You probably should have had a conversation about your expectation of her role when you first asked her so that there wouldn't be this big miscommunication.
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Super May 2021
Stacey · on September 3, 2020 at 11:59 AM
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Does the wedding planning dominate your conversations with her? Have you checked in on her lately and talked about non-wedding related topics? If she was so quick to react, it sounds like she's going through something and needs you to be her sister right now, and not a bride. Make sure you're BOTH being there for each other and each express what you need from each other emotionally.
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Super September 2020
Leanne · on September 3, 2020 at 12:06 PM
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Let her vent first, and then let her know what your expectations are for her involvement for the wedding day. More than likely a misunderstanding of expectations was the problem all along.
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Savvy October 2020
Ashley · on September 3, 2020 at 12:22 PM
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The thing that is upsetting is my conversations with her aren’t wedding exclusive. This was a check up for some things needing to be discussed for the day of and was the first time I’ve brought it up in a couple weeks
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Rockstar July 2019
Veronica · on September 3, 2020 at 1:05 PM
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To be honest, no one is required to help plan your wedding or pre-wedding events unless they volunteer. The only responsibility the bridal party has is to show up to the wedding in the outfit you requested. It sounds like she has other stuff going on. You should be a sister and a bride second.
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Savvy October 2020
Ashley · on September 5, 2020 at 12:55 AM
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Thanks for all of your input guys, you are right to look at her side! I will keep that in mind and also make sure everything is good with her
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Dedicated June 2021
Harmony · on September 15, 2020 at 2:05 AM
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It is fair to say that you are both feeling badly about the current situation.
You sister clearly has things going on and is feeling overwhelmed (we are living through a global pandemic at this point) so it is understandable.
But at the same time you were hoping for a fun time planning with your sister. Sounds like you were feeling overwhelmed with having to plan things you were hoping she would.
I think we all need a little bit of grace at this time and a heart to heart may be necessary.
Just take it one day at a time and try to focus on things that are enjoyable about this experience and not focus on what's upsetting you about the situation because it is only going to draw a further wedge.
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