moh and bridesmaids won't do the one thing i asked them to do...

If they found the color you want then you'e wrong.
You said you didn't find this particular color elsewhere but that doesn't mean they didn't see it at another shop. what if they did?
And even if the girls are secretly planning to buy something that is not in this color, kicking them out may be a relationship-ending move. Ask yourself if is it woth it? What's more important to you: the relationships or this color?

View Quoted Comment It’s not even the color thing. It’s the fact they didn’t mention going to stores. Cause they had all turned down that option when I asked them when they wanted to go. Honestly if this ends our relationship it’s their fault. It’s the one thing I’ve asked them to do.

View Quoted Comment And even then I’ve gone to the same shops they go to and the exact color I want isn’t in the shops so they wouldn’t be getting the color I want they’d be getting a slightly different shade..

View Quoted Comment And if they buy a dress that isn’t the color I said then they can’t be in the wedding it’s that simple 🤷🏼‍♀️ If they don’t wanna respect what I want for my wedding day then why would they say yes? I shouldn’t have to give up my vision for my wedding because they wanna rent a dress instead of getting one from where I asked them to get it to have everyone’s dress the same exact color.

How much are the Azazie dresses? Did you check with each of them privately for their budgets prior to choosing the dresses? Sounds like the choice might be too expensive for them.

You're right though, their one job is to get the dress (within the agreed-on budget). If they don't, then they can attend as guests. This may cause some drama, though, as Lucy pointed out.

View Quoted Comment The dresses we saw that they all liked were 89$ and they were all okay with that budget and there’s a different variety of prices and they are always on sale. None of them had a problem with it till today.

I don't think you're wrong. Azazie is very reasonably priced with a ton of styles to compliment any figure in the color you are requesting. I think your request is very reasonable.

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Don't get me wrong: I agree that the fact of doing things behind your back is their fault.
And I'm not saying you should let them do whatever they want, just be aware that some of them may not take it welland If you're fine with the idea of kicking them out , then it's okay. I said many times on WW that a wedding, along with pre-wedding events, are the few times in one's life when being strict and even being selfish is totally acceptable. We're having to deal with both sets of parents and grandmas and we said " NO" a thousand times.

View Quoted Comment Ageeed! I think it’s easier to not have Bridesmaids at all If you do you must prepare to be some what flexible on your end. Different personalities and different choices. Sure you can kick them out for not following your rules and have them attend as guest. But trying to comprehend how that will impact the wedding day atmosphere where hurt feelings will be apparent. . The dress at the initial store is 89.00 which is not expensive to us but maybe to them. Maybe they decided to rent because they don’t want to be stuck with a dress they don’t really care for. Even if they did buy different color of their gowns, will this really hanker your day?

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Wow that really sucks. I'm sorry this is happening.

View Quoted Comment See I don’t wanna kick them out of my wedding but this whole thing with the dresses is stressful and they also said they won’t be able to take off work to make the rehearsal. (Mind you they still have a month and I told them about the rehearsal dinner a month ago) So my guess is they just don’t wanna be in the wedding and this is their way of getting out 🤷🏼‍♀️ But I could be overthinking. And I never ask them for much. In fact this is actually the first time I’ve ever asked them for anything and we’ve all been friends since we were coming out of the womb. So I thought I was making a great choice by asking them but they seem to be the ones letting me down the most.. I should’ve just went with my FH’s idea of not having bridesmaids and groomsmen and instead just have a MOH and Bestman

View Quoted Comment They all agreed that the dresses were reasonably priced and that they could wear it more than once if they actually wanted to bc we all love the color purple. But I understand why they would want to rent it’s just they didn’t come to me first to see what I would say, they were doing it behind my back and I only found out because their mom told me since she knew I didn’t want that. And yes if they buy a different color it will mess up my day bc I want all the dresses the same color and shade. I don’t want them slightly different in color. The only thing different on the dresses is the style.

View Quoted Comment I totally agree. I’m bummed for you that you’re only asked them to do this one thing and they won’t. 😤

No need to be further uspet your bridesmaids do not plan like you do. They thought of an alternative plan within their financial and time constraints, but the proposed deliverables do not meet your needs or vision. Let them be guests. You don't even need a long drawn out conversation. To save their pride (or just to keep things simple) say, since they aren't able to get the dress in time, they can wear a dress of their own and sit as a guest. You will still be happy they came out to celebrate your marriage with XX. You cannot control other people, just focus on getting ready for your life with XX. All will be ok.

View Quoted Comment Sounds frustrating wishing you the best of luck in all of this.

View Quoted Comment Sounds like a tough situation and I can see how you would feel torn. I understand how you don’t want to end any relationships that you’ve had for a significant amount of time but you also have a right to your wedding vision. Your request that they order a dress from Azazie is completely reasonable and they have had ample time to do so. At this point I would let them know that they are happily invited to attend as guests.

I don't think you're in the wrong. When you asked them to be in your wedding I assume they knew what they would be responsible for. I hope you can get this issue resolved before your wedding 😊

I just want to say that I am sorry you are having this problem. I feel that Azazie is amazing to work with and very affordable. Just an idea…maybe mention to them about the “at home try on” program. They can pick any dress in your color you have stipulated & for $10/dress you can order up to 3 dresses. You only have 7 days to return the dresses. If you like one of them, you can keep it, and it is super easy!! We did this for my daughter’s wedding (upcoming 9/3/22) and it was great because my youngest is in college & we were working with her schedule & being 3 hours away. Also, if you have any bridesmaids that are hard to fit, they will create a dress with her measurements, and they will give you a certain amount of $ if it needs altered. ( I can’t find it on their site but it is there.) Also, I just looked and some colors will be retired on June 20th. My daughter has a bridesmaid that hasn’t ordered hers yet. Most of their dresses are around $100 or less which I think is a bargain! They also have free returns within 30 days on standard sizes. One thing that was helpful to us with having the option to choose more than 450 dresses in dusty rose, was the reviews with pics so you could see how real people looked in them. I would suggest sending out a text that has some of this info with a really positive tone about how gorgeous they are going to be! Give them a date that you would like them ordered by. Don’t demand but be firm & kind. Also, look & make sure your color is not being retired. Best of luck!

Girl I am going through the same thing. My MOH is the only one that has her dress out of 4 girls. One of them isn’t even talking to me now when literally all I asked was for her to get a dress and she’s saying I’m being too stressful. So I’m giving her one chance and if she don’t agree she’s out.
The other hand my SIL is in the party and she is saying dresses are expensive from azazie but is going and spending the same amount of money on pointless things! It’s so frustrating

You're not in the wrong. Seeing as how you can end up with different shades of dresses just from varying dye lots, I find it very suspicious that they found "the same color" in a dress in a store.


Being a bridesmaid is expensive, but that's something you expect when you agree to be a bridesmaid. And Azazie is the cheapest bridesmaid dress of the four weddings I've stood up in.
As for kicking them out of they don't comply? Sometimes it's an ultimatum people need to hear. It's frustrating and seeing as how you're not doing any of the pre-wedding parties, it's literally the only thing you're asking of them.