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Savvy March 2020

mob wants certain things for wedding....

Nicola, on November 4, 2019 at 6:44 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 13

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Hi everyone, so I need advice.

Me and my fiancé are set to get married in March (He’s paying for everything). Prior to getting engaged— we always stated for any party we have we do not want line dancing songs being played. So, here we are planning our wedding and my Mother is begging for us to play a few line dancing songs because she says some guests will like it. However, when ever we hear these songs they make us cringe. I keep explaining to her that we ABSOLUTELY hate those songs. She feels that I should override my feelings, and convince my soon to be husband that they should be played. She also says, if I cannot convince him then that is a sign he is controlling. Again, we both hate those line dancing songs. So question... I’m stuck. Should I have them played even though me and him agreed that we don’t ever want them played at a party? Or if not, she’s going to keep saying “I’m being controlled because he has the final say so... but I hate those songs too.

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13 Comments

Latest activity by Alyssa, on November 6, 2019 at 12:14 PM

Master September 2019
Sarah · on November 4, 2019 at 6:47 PM
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“FH and I came to our decision and we won’t be playing any line dance songs. We won’t be changing our minds.” If your mom believes you’re FH is controlling because of a decision on songs at your reception, she’s going to feel that way no matter what.
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Dedicated October 2021
Christina · on November 4, 2019 at 7:22 PM
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Sounds a little odd that she said that if he doesn’t want these songs (especially when you don’t either) that it makes him controlling! She’s being a little controlling herself in my opinion insisting on something especially if you told her you don’t want it either! If you really want to consider making her happy to avoid the conflict, perhaps you could have them played during cocktail hour? You’ll probably be having your photos taken then, so you won’t have to hear it but it’ll stop the argument possibly. If that isn’t an option, then I would simply put it to her that you BOTH do not want these songs played on your special day
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Devoted October 2020
Emily · on November 4, 2019 at 7:28 PM
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If it’s not worth the fight, play one or two, and use that time for you and FH to run off and have a few minutes alone to soak in the evening before returning back to your guests and the rest of the party. That might be a way to have a win-win.
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Super November 2021
Alejandra · on November 4, 2019 at 8:09 PM
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That’s a weird thing to argue about in my opinion. She’s immature for pressing it so much and saying that her son is controlling and, I’m sorry, but I think both of you are being immature for not just letting her play the dang couple songs. I personally don’t think music is really worth all this trouble and arguing.
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Super October 2020
Renee · on November 5, 2019 at 5:02 AM
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I would mention that she's the one being controlling by telling *you* what to play at *your* wedding. Especially since he's paying for everything. Then I'd also tell her that the TWO OF YOU have decided that you still hate line dancing and wont have it played at your wedding. It's your big day, don't play music you both hate. You should also talk to your dj as well. I've read some pretty crazy stories about parents trying to change things behind the bride and groom's back (not saying your mom would, just a suggestion) You can always use a password if someone tries to call in and change something or let the dj know that you do NOT want ANY line dancing songs at your wedding.
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Devoted July 2020
Brandi · on November 5, 2019 at 5:34 AM
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Although, I agree, it’s your wedding, your day - the music keeps the guest entertained. People attend to have a good time and so, while you may hate it, I don’t see why one or two would hurt if your guests will appreciate it and it’ll get them more entertained and involved. Your ceremony is for you. Your reception is really for other people.
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Master December 2019
Cher Horowitz · on November 5, 2019 at 10:16 AM
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This is such a weird thing for your FMIL to make such a big deal about. I would be firm that the decision has already been made by you and FH, and it's not up for negotiation. In general I would definitely limit talking about wedding plans around her. After all, no pay = no say. Also, you're not being controlling at all! Try to not let her words bother you
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Lady · on November 5, 2019 at 12:13 PM
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I mean, guests like cheesy songs like that, it's why they're so popular. To me - this would not be my hill to die on. I'd play 2 or 3, spaced out, and use that time to go to the bathroom or the bar if you dont' want to dance to it - if you played 3, it would be less than 10 minutes of your entire reception.
I think you're mom's reasoning about your FI being controlling is ridiculous.
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Savvy January 2020
McKenzie · on November 5, 2019 at 1:25 PM
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Well I know some people might be disappointed in my choice of music but it is you know, my event. Jazz all night and no party songs at my reception. There’s no point in trying to please others for your wedding. I have the mindset of it’s your wedding so plan it how you want it to be. The guests are there to celebrate your marriage and if no line dancing songs ruin the whole thing for them then they weren’t there for the right reason at all.
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VIP August 2021
Jennifer · on November 5, 2019 at 2:48 PM
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It's your wedding so you play what you want! Although if you play just one, that could be your time to go get a drink at the bar, take a step outside, catch up with some guests who aren't dancing, or even use the restroom if you need to!
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Master October 2019
Laura · on November 5, 2019 at 6:37 PM
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It's your wedding, it's what you want. I've only been to one wedding that had line dancing. We didn't have it at ours. No one cared
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Super October 2021
Suzie · on November 5, 2019 at 8:40 PM
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Yes, agreed. This is your day, and the only controlling one here is your mother. Tell her firmly with finality that you BOTH decided this is a hard no. We feel the same way, and since it is my day and I’m paying for it, that’s the final word.
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