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Dedicated June 2019

mob and mog dress help

Sabrina , on September 1, 2018 at 2:17 PM Posted in Wedding Attire 0 18

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Our wedding is next June, so still a ways away and my mom and I have just begun looking for her dress. FMIL texted me last night saying she ordered dresses and is thinking of one as her best option. (Isn't MOB supposed to get theirs first? FMIL texted 2 weeks ago asking if she had hers yet and I said no.) I am not a fan of her pick, but don't know how to tell her. I dont think it fits with our color scheme at all, and our venue is on a rooftop, very summery and beatiful. I think her dress looks very dark and will clash with our colors.

At this point do I tell her my true opinion? "I love the design but was hoping for lighter colors?" Or leave it and let her be comfortable?

Or am I overthinking this and this dress will really be great?!

Pictures attached are the bouquet my florist is going off of, bridesmaid dresses (they look brighter in person) and tuxes with tie, the color dress my mom is looking at, and FMIL's dress.

mob and mog dress help 1

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18 Comments

Latest activity by Judith, on September 1, 2018 at 8:55 PM

VIP August 2018
Kristen · on September 1, 2018 at 2:40 PM
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I don't think you should worry about her dress.
I've never heard that MOB needs to get hers before FMIL.
As for the color and style, their dresses aren't really supposed to match the color scheme so color doesn't matter and I'd let her get any style that she is comfortable with since, after all, she is the one who will be wearing it so you want her to feel good in it.
You're definitely overthinking this. Just take a breath, let her get the dress she wants, and don't let this stress you out.
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VIP October 2018
Victoria · on September 1, 2018 at 2:46 PM
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Agree with PP. I've never heard that either. Let her wear what she wants. The dress she picked is lovely.
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Dedicated October 2018
Shanalee · on September 1, 2018 at 2:56 PM
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I agree with has already been stated...both of these dresses are beautiful
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July 1993
WED18 · on September 1, 2018 at 2:58 PM
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Back when the bride’s parents hosted the reception (usually in their home), it was customary for the MOB to pick her dress first because she was the primary host. Now days it truly doesn’t matter. The moms should wear what they like and feel comfortable in. They will not being taking photos with the wedding party so it doesn’t matter what color they wear. I think your FMIL’s pick is lovely!
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Super December 2018
Courtney · on September 1, 2018 at 2:59 PM
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When I researched, it stated the MOB gets her dress first, then the MOG takes her cue and gets a complimentary ensemble.

I am on the side of coordinating with wedding colors.

With that said, I think the dresses shown are beautiful and will go well together as well as with the overall look.
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Dedicated June 2019
Sabrina · on September 1, 2018 at 3:04 PM
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Thanks guys! I have 2 FSILs that will be bridesmaids in those dresses, but I will follow advice and let this one go. I do like her dress, just wasn't sure it would go well for the wedding.
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November 2018
happeningmom · on September 1, 2018 at 3:27 PM
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Traditionally the MOB gets picks her dress first then the MOG finds a dress that coordinates with the MOB dress. Also, some people do take pictures with the family ad bridal party together so if this is something you are gong to do I would suggest speaking to her. She can return the dress. I would just tell her that this is a summer wedding and you would prefer she pick a lighter color.
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Super October 2018
Stacey · on September 1, 2018 at 3:52 PM
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I think it's fine. If it were all black it might be too much but I think the pink/purple will go well with your BM dresses and mom's dress. If it makes you feel better both my mom and FMIL are wearing pant suits, and my FMIL's is bright teal. I'd tell you what my mother's looks like but she won't show me...she's fun like that.
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Super August 2019
Saydee · on September 1, 2018 at 4:13 PM
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I actually like her dress. If anything, I think your mom may be hot in a longer sleeved dress in June, but they both look great. My mother in law though she had to wear matching dresses with my mother, and we all cringed at her wedding when fh's grandmother and the mother of the groom both had to wear the same thing. It did not over well, but neither had been married before and no one thought to tell her different. By time we found out it was too late smh.

I'm begging my mom to wear a dress and not a pant suit but she's still complaining about how hot it will be (end of August wedding, not that hot). Personally I think you'll be hotter in a suit with no breeze than a long dress.
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Champion December 2017
earias · on September 1, 2018 at 4:28 PM
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The mothers should wear what they want. As PP said it was tradition for the MOB to get her dress first and then the MOG so they could coordinate but most people no longer do that. For what it's worth, I actually really like your FMIL's dress and think she did a great job incorporating your colors in the flowers on that dress.
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Super November 2018
Kiwibride · on September 1, 2018 at 4:49 PM
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Not that it matters at all since she gets to wear whatever she likes, but I think her dress goes really well with everything else.

I have to add, it sounds like she was very considerate, she checked in to see if your mother had bought a dress yet and then let you know what she bought so your mother would know incase it factored into her decision. It's not like your mother is any more important than her, it would be ridiculous to expect her to wait rather than buy something she liked while it was available
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Devoted February 2016
Joanna · on September 1, 2018 at 5:28 PM
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It really doesn't matter what the mothers wear. It was nice of her to show it to you but she didn't even need to do that. It's a beautiful dress and if it makes her feel beautiful wearing it, that's what counts.
What would you have done if a guest wore it? You likely wouldn't even have given it a second thought.
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Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on September 1, 2018 at 8:18 PM
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1.) Who cares which mother gets their dress first? Her child is getting married just the same as your mother's child is getting married. They are equal. This is a long outdated tradition.
2.) She is a grown woman. She can dress herself.
3.) You probably have bigger concerns than what someone else wears to your wedding.
4.) The dress she chose is lovely and actually looks great with the colors you've picked.
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Champion June 2019
Kenisha · on September 1, 2018 at 8:24 PM
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I don't think you should say anything.
The dress she chose is very pretty and I think it goes fine with your color scheme.
No need to get into an argument or stress yourself out!
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October 2018
FirstTimeMOB · on September 1, 2018 at 8:30 PM
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I am the MOB and had a blast dress shopping with my daughter and her FMIL. The three of us had a wonderful day of shopping for the 'mothers' dresses.

Her FMIL found her dress at one of the first shops we went to, and bought it on the spot. It is a beautiful dress and she looks wonderful in it. It took me another three months to find mine, and I can tell you it didn't matter to me one bit that I didn't get mine 'first'. It mattered more to me that I found the dress that I really wanted to wear, and that the 'other' mother found something that she really wanted to wear.
In the end, we will both look AND feel our best on a day we will celebrate our children together.
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Dedicated June 2019
Sabrina · on September 1, 2018 at 8:31 PM
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That sounds like a lot of fun and I had wanted to do that with her! I thought I had mentioned that at the beginning of the summer, but I guess not or she forgot
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Master September 2019
Colleen · on September 1, 2018 at 8:41 PM
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My best advice is simp worry about every small detail and everything going perfect. If so it will not end up being fun for you. Her dress is great.
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Master 0000
Judith · on September 1, 2018 at 8:55 PM
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MOB giving cues to MOG died out mostly in the 1970's, along with the expectation that brides parents paid for the entire wedding, and the MOB was hostess and often a primary planner of the wedding. Let MOG and MOB pick their gowns or dresses, with the usual proviso, the same formality as the bride, or one step less. Never outshine the bride. But no need to coordinate with the wedding party in any way for color, length, style, and no need to coordinate with each other. Looking nice, feeling comfortable and happy with her appearance will do.
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