Mixing Vietnamese & American Culture

Your Fh is best person to talk to hoogle your tradition or tell him you eant to homor your deceased parents. My Fh doesmt like pics of people who has past away so Im doing a empty chair.

How does your FH truly feel about incorporating some aspects? This may be difficult for him since his parents are no longer around; so I'd really take his feelings over good intentions. Chinese buffet the night before - even if it's just the bridal party (or you two)? Is he close with any older family members that would be like to step in with a tea ceremony? Perhaps have your own tea ceremony with just each other. Did he propose with a ring or earrings? Maybe he can pick your earrings to wear on your wedding day? Definitely have an open conversation with him. Balance the line between respecting traditions and creating your own.

View Quoted Comment Thank you! We've talked several times about it.... we both end up in tears & the conversation goes nowhere. Have you yourself delt with a similar situation?? If so, what did you two decide?

View Quoted Comment Thank you! Empty chairs is a great idea!

Because his parents are deceased, you cannot have the traditional Vietnamese wedding Tea Ceremony. But you can incorporate the Vietnamese cultural aspects in other ways. I am Vietnamese and my FH is Jewish. Our wedding ceremony is a Jewish ceremony being performed by his childhood rabbi, who does not do interfaith ceremonies so I had to incorporate the Vietnamese aspects in other ways. For instance, I took the traditional Vietnamese wedding colors of royal blue, fire engine red, and gold and darken them for my Fall wedding to navy, burgundy, gold, and emerald green (for good luck); the wedding invitations and the RSVP cards have the Vietnamese translation on the back; my BMs are wearing traditional ao dais; all of the wedding party outfits are being made in my hometown in south Vietnam (including 2 of my 3 wedding dresses); I am having Vietnamese appetizers for the Cocktail Hour, etc.

View Quoted Comment Thank you!!!! I already thought about incorporating some of our favourite Vietnamese food.
What about the cake? Is there a special way to decorate it for good luck??
Since I am American... would it be taken as disrespectful if my BM wore the traditional ao dais??
Is there a a traditional/special gift between bride & groom on wedding day?
Any help is greatly appreciated. Like I said, i do not want to come across disrespectful in anyway.

Asian people really don't do what Americans view as traditional cake decorating. I would suggest a custom topper off of Etsy, something like this? If you're aimming for good luck, have a lot of red and gold within your wedding color scheme. I don't think it would be disrespectful if your bridesmaids wore traditional ao dais. If you live in around a predominantly Vietnamese area, such as Orange County, California, or Fairfax, Virginia, you can find a seamstress that can make customed ao dais easily. I don't know of any traditional Vietnamese wedding gifts that the bride and groom exchange.

Here's a good article to get you started on reading up on Vietnamese wedding traditions that you can incorporate: https://www.linandjirsa.com/vietnamese-wedding-traditions/

Oh, make sure you go around table to table during the Reception to thank the guests and personally receive wedding gift envelopes; Vietnamese people won't leave money filled envelopes in a gift box (giving actual cash as opposed to check is considered good luck). This is tradition.

Thank you so much!! This has been a little stressful under the circumstances. I'm not very close with anyone that I would feel comfortable asking these questions. You have been a really HUGE help!! Best wishes to you two!!!

View Quoted Comment Is this the fire engine red color?

View Quoted Comment Yes, that's the color!