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Savvy October 2019

Missing Out on Wedding Staples

Shelby, on September 3, 2019 at 6:42 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 1 10

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Very long story short, 2019 has been a very difficult year. I thought the year leading up to my wedding would be full of fun, but this has turned out to be one of the most complicated years of my life so far. Due to a lot of this, I’m missing out on a lot of things most brides get to do. My fiancé and I don’t have pictures of the proposal because the friends of my FH that were supposed to show up had to back out last minute. Our engagement photos fell through. The bachelorette party I had planned can’t happen now and I’m probably not going to have one at this point. I’m pretty sure I’m not having a bridal shower either. My grandma asked me if I was having one and I told her no, I was told other people usually plan it and no one has asked.

My question is for the brides who have also missed out: What did you do to make up for it, if anything?

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10 Comments

Latest activity by Liz, on September 4, 2019 at 12:55 PM

Devoted October 2019
Summer · on September 3, 2019 at 6:51 PM
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I had a girl's day with my mom, older sister, and FH's two sisters. I invited my younger sister and his mom too but my sister had drill, and his mom was out of state at the time
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Master November 2019
Mrs. S · on September 3, 2019 at 7:20 PM
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My proposal was amazing because it existed. I’m not trying to sound selfish or ungrateful. But there was no speech or getting down on one knee. Definitely no pictures. I really just wanted him to say something special to me because he’s not good at expressing his feelings. He didn’t want to write personal vows either. But a year later he made the sweetest speech at a military ceremony in front of all his soldiers. So it made up for it for me. My bridal shower was fun but I would have been fine without. As far as bachelorette I just want to get a drink with my girls. But I did love my engagement photo session. I would definitely do that again.
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VIP September 2019
Yam · on September 3, 2019 at 7:26 PM
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I didn’t do any of that and it was fine! The wedding is the biggest party of them all, that’s the only part I’d be upset to miss. 😉
You could do a post wedding brunch if you wanted some extra moments.
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Expert November 2019
Keri · on September 3, 2019 at 7:28 PM
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I didn't have an elaborate proposal. He proposed with a fun metal ring because he knew I was going to wear an heirloom. I didn't have nor want engagement photos. As for bridal shower/bachelorette, they are planned but haven't happened yet. We are having a short (8 month engagement). I'm 30 he's 36. People aren't making a huge fuss over us, because we have bee established as a couple for a few years. I love him, and I can't wait to marry him. My only advice is to focus on the marriage
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Master July 2019
Hannah · on September 3, 2019 at 7:28 PM
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If you want to try to put things in perspective, a lot of these are things that are only trends recently. Proposal and engagement photos only became on trend within the last few years. My proposal was between my husband and myself, and that's exactly how I wanted it. We didn't do an engagement shoot either. I can't say that I feel I missed out on anything. I did have a bachelorette, but it was lowkey and just my bridesmaids and myself because they planned the bachelorette and bridal shower for the same weekend. They were a surprise, so you never know, you may have one! As far as what to do to make up for things, there isn't much except to just focus on everything you are getting: the start of this next chapter in your and your future spouse's life.
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VIP October 2019
Ivy ORP · on September 3, 2019 at 7:36 PM
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Honestly I didn't do any of it and I wasn't really planning to. We did however plan a get together with friends to celebrate our wedding. We mostly wanted to focus on the wedding and the celebration with our friends. I know a lot of people plan for these extra events and moments, but it's ok to skip them. Find something you can fit into the schedule if you can.
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Super September 2018
Rachel · on September 3, 2019 at 7:47 PM
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The advice already shared is all great. I’d offer one other thing to consider, you could just treat yourself to a day of indulgence or relaxation! I was at a point where I thought my bridesmaids just weren’t feeling a bachelorette in any form, so I said you know what I’ll book a room at a hotel with a nice pool and spa and treat myself to a nice day free of planning! In my case the bachelorette did ultimately come together, but I was totally fine with taking myself out for some pampering instead if needed. 😊
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VIP December 2019
Diana · on September 3, 2019 at 10:15 PM
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Don’t feel bad, your not the only one who’s not having all of that either. I’m am taking my bridal party (2 teenagers and 11 yr old niece) out for a mani/pedi.
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Legend June 2019
Melle · on September 3, 2019 at 11:48 PM
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I don't think a bachelorette party needs to be this weekend party where you go crazy clubbing or bar hopping. I did a really quiet one with a few of my girls where we just did a couple activities together like a hangout.
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Savvy September 2019
Liz · on September 4, 2019 at 12:55 PM
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I didn't have any of those things, heck I'm the one who proposed to him so I didn't get a proposal moment at all. But I don't feel like I've missed out on a single thing. While all of those things are nice and fun, they're not really the point. In 10 days I get to marry my best friend and that's literally all I need. That said, I'm going with my mom and sister to get our nails done a couple days before the wedding, so I guess we're sort of doing a girl time "bachelorette"
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