Missing My Dad. Tips to Not Cry

You can't.

Just let the tears flow. I'm sorry for your loss.

Mine passed away as well and I am beyond hurt. I almost contacted a medium the other day . It's hard and I don't think anything can ease the hurt of losing a parent

Hey Jelisa,

I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad. I lost mine unexpectedly last year in July. It stings that he won't be there for my wedding too. I'm planning on having a bouquet charm wrapped in my flowers that has a picture of him, so he'll be there to walk me down the aisle. We're also doing a (very small) memorial table with single photos of family that can't be there with us that day.

I would caution you against having a chair decorated at the ceremony if you're concerned about emotions running high. They're such a stark reminder of where your loved one WOULD be sitting...I know I couldn't do it. Others on here have mentioned to keep the memorial stuff conservative, and I have to agree. Grief is a tricky process and just because you aren't triggered doesn't mean someone else close to that individual wouldn't be.

I know it's cliche, but your Dad wouldn't want you to be upset on your wedding day. It may sound weird, but I can almost HEAR my Dad saying, "Oh babes, I'm already here!" I know he'll be with me that day whether I can physically see him or not.

Wishing you all the best.

I'm sorry you lost your father.

What these women said is right. Also, the night before the wedding or the day of (before makeup) give yourself a few minutes on your own to think about him and how happy he would be to be with you on your wedding day. Let yourself feel all those feelings---and then dust yourself off and know that it's a happy day, he would be happy for you, and try to experience all the joy of your day.

I'm so sorry for your loss. My father passed away over 4 years ago, so I completely understand since he won't be at my wedding next month. I thought about doing a type of memorial to him, but decided against it. It would just devastate me to see something like that since it really displays him not being there. :/ I think at the end of the day it is up to you on how you want to honor your father at your wedding. Just try to keep in mind that he would want you to be happy on your wedding day.

Thanks for the advice. It helps knowing I'm not the only one that knows how this feels. I have several friends who are engaged/recently married and it's tough for them to understand that my wedding won't just a happy day for me.

I am dealing with same problem. Im so sorry because I know how it feels.

So sorry for your loss.

Nothing will be able to replace your father at your wedding or make the pain go away. Best not to fight the hurt and just let it be.

I love the idea of a charm on your bouquet, that way you can still have him with you as you walk down the aisle.

I'm so sorry for your loss :-(

My dad passed away when I was 9 and I'm struggling with the same emotions. I always knew this experience would bring out a lot of emotions and it's proving to be true. I'm doing a few special things to honor my dad that day, but I know it's going to be bittersweet and I'm fully expecting to have a few sob sessions whether I like it or not :-/

All I can say is be strong and know he's with you no matter what. Whether or not you have any religious or spiritual beliefs, loved ones always stay in your heart. Let the tears flow that day and know that FH is there for you that day and every day going forward.

And bring lots of touch up makeup and tissues of course :-) Best of luck to you

@Jelisa, I completely agree with your wedding not being the perfectly happy day most people envision. I lost my big brother who was my best friend, and I know for a fact my wedding day won't be the happiest day of my life like everyone says. Most people wont get it, but the people posting here do.

Hugs to you. I hope your day is still full of happiness and love and laughter.

I'm planning on having a charm with his picture on my bouquet. I also want to wear one of his button up shirts while I'm getting ready. I'm still debating what if any memorial I'm going to have at the reception for him. Like TinyRed said, some things make him not being there even more difficult.

I'm so sorry for you loss. I agree with others that you can have some special memorial thing for your father to feel he's closer to you. And don't worry about crying or being emotional...it's part of your love for your dad. Also from my experience holding tears is very stressful and I don't think you want that stress on your wedding day.

Wedding day is a important day, but you don't "have to be happy" all the time just because your guest think you should be. Wish you all the best.

I'm sorry for your loss.

No matter how hard you try not to think about it, the tears are going to happen. My dad passed away a few months after I got engaged and I knew how he was looking forward to walking me down the aisle. My sister (MOH) walked me down the aisle. We both had a piece of his shirt with us (mine was inside my dress and my sister's was wrapped around her bouquet) so in a way he was there with us. I thought I was going to cry going up the aisle but I didn't; I still don't know how I managed not to cry. My sister and I did the Father/Daughter dance in his memory and that's when I lost it and started crying.

So sorry for your loss.

The others have all suggested great ideas.

Small tasks and decisions throughout the day could help, as well, like deciding to read your vows off a note card (if you haven't decided to do that already) instead of trying to memorize them. This'll give you something specific to focus on when you feel your emotions beginning to well up.

For a bigger suggestion, maybe consider a private moment of silence after the ceremony. By yourself, with your new husband, whoever you decide to do it with away from the crowd of guests.