Minimony frustrations

We are doing pretty much the same thing next Saturday. I tried to keep it simple, but then would think well, this is technically the wedding! We are having about 20 guests, mostly family. I would have liked to invite more friends but didn’t want it too large. I am getting my hair/makeup done, we are having photography for 3 hours, ordered a cake, and catering (BBQ to try and keep it cheap).

View Quoted Comment Are you having a big reception next year as well?

I dont think it’s overkill. After 4 years I wouldn’t want to wait anymore and you still want your wedding day to be special. I mean I don’t make a lot but I paid for hair and makeup and photographer for engagement and boudoir photos, a nice cake for my husband’s promotion, rehearsal dinner for full guest list (44 people and not expensive food). Just examples of ways I’ve spent money on the same exact things but it wasn’t even my wedding. If your budget is ok I would definitely go for it. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having your small event now and a big renewal next year, especially considering the circumstances.

View Quoted Comment Thanks for the support, I’m frugal enough that I’m not worried about the cost and the in-laws offered to pay for the small catering so I think it’ll be fine and probably under $1000

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Yea I would definitely stick with it then. Sometimes men just aren't as sentimental and don't understand.

It's great that your close friends want to attend and support so if it's something you want to do then go for it. Just don't feel pressured for any reason. I personally think your friends should understand and respect that there will be next year and you should just stick with your plan of just parents.

I don't know where you are but you can look into elopement packages (allows a few guests if you want more than just parents). They have multiple locations. It doesn't include food but it does include photography and you can add hair & make up (and other add-ons) for extra.

View Quoted Comment We postponed the big wedding to this August so are having a ceremony and reception then.

We are doing a wedding this year with just our parents and siblings in our church and have a nice dinner after in a private room at a restaurant. Exactly one year later we will renew our vows and have a big reception for family and friends. For this year’s wedding, I have a separate dress, getting hair done (probably not makeup), and a photographer for the ceremony and some photos afterwards. I wouldn’t feel pressured to include friends—it could be more special if it’s super intimate with just your family. Your friends will still be there for the big party! But I don’t think anything you’re planning is overkill at all!

I don’t personally think it’s overkill either

I don't think it's overkill at all! I am being super extra about my original wedding date, which is Saturday. I am getting my nails done, a spray tan, hair, make-up, having a bridal photo shoot in my wedding dress, and then we have reservations for a nice dinner....probably going to end up having a nice lunch somewhere too, haha. I have a florist making me a bridal bouquet for my pictures. Luckily my FH is cool with it.

View Quoted Comment Hahaha, it’s true. The beginning of all this wedding planning FH said “no problem, I’ll give you 2k for the wedding” little did he know our budget for the big one was 10k 🤣

View Quoted Comment I’m so extra about the date that i kept it for next year as well lol.

View Quoted Comment It’s only going to include my two girlfriends who were already bridesmaids

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LOL! Yep, you win :-)

I don't think it's overkill at all! IMO, you are turning those lemons into lemonade! 🍋 🍹 I am doing something similar. We will be having an intimate ceremony with just our immediate families in September with a vow renewal/reception next June. We will have a photographer, I will be getting hair and makeup done, and we will be having a small dinner afterwards. I'm being strict with the guest limit because I want to build excitement for the larger celebration.

Hi there,

This this tough! If I were in your shoes, I think I would want the minimony to be as small as possible. So I would make sure the friends I am inviting are my closest friends. If that's the case, I think that is totally fine! Then, you can have your larger reception next year with all of your friends.

I'm excited to hear what you decide.

Sending lots of love your way!