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Beth
Savvy September 2021

Mini Ceremony / sequel wedding

Beth, on March 29, 2021 at 12:13 AM Posted in Planning 0 8
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Hi everyone. I got engaged on Christmas Day 2020 & my fiancé and I don’t want to wait until 2022 to get married bc we’re both older, we want to start our family, & his dad isn’t in the best of health. We’re planning to have a small ceremony with just our immediate family this summer/fall. This isn’t what I dreamed of but he is the man that I’ve dreamed of. Selfishly I still want to have a reception and possibly a sequel wedding at a later date when the pandemic is over & everyone can dance & have a good time (without wearing masks) but I feel like spending money on both of these events is silly. It’s also difficult to plan for 2 events but I know planning a bigger ceremony & a reception this year (with friends & extended family included) probably isn’t feasible in such short time so I feel like doing 2 separate dates is the only thing that makes sense right now. So what are people doing? Are you having 2 ceremonies? Are you just having a small ceremony? If you’re having 2 are you having 2 dresses, 2 Photographers, etc.? Am I being selfish for planning 2? Any insight would be really helpful!

8 Comments

Latest activity by Beth, on April 10, 2021 at 1:04 AM
  • Rebecca
    Master August 2019
    Rebecca ·
    • Flag

    Lots of people are having two events right now.

    A popular option is also to stream the ceremony for those who cannot attend due to safety/distance.

    Do what you want to do, to celebrate each other!

    (FYI, DH and I planned our wedding in less than 8 months. It's possible, just requires diligence.)

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  • Elizabeth
    Super June 2021
    Elizabeth ·
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    Not silly at all. I have a friend getting married in a few months with about 20 people and then having a HUGE party next fall with 300+ people. I also know a girl who had a courthouse wedding, then a minimony, and is now having a huge reception this fall. Both are doing all the wedding stuff: photos, flowers, a DJ, the works. Also both got photography for their wedding day even though it was small. It might cost a bit more, but you have the attire and other things you can use twice.
    • Reply
  • Ava
    VIP May 2022
    Ava ·
    • Flag
    No need to feel bad at all! Having two events is very common during this pandemic. One option would be to have a small, intimate ceremony now, then a large vow renewal ceremony on your anniversary. And it doesn’t have to be your one year anniversary! I know finances and avoiding covid restrictions are a priority for you, so you could make it your 2 year anniversary, or even your 5 year anniversary!
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  • Beth
    Savvy September 2021
    Beth ·
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    Thank you for your reply! Kudos to you for planning a wedding in less than 8 months!
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  • Beth
    Savvy September 2021
    Beth ·
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    Thank you so much for the insight Elizabeth! That helps!
    • Reply
  • Beth
    Savvy September 2021
    Beth ·
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    You’re right...thanks so much for the input Ava!
    • Reply
  • LeeAnn
    Savvy October 2021
    LeeAnn ·
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    I'm in a similar boat - got engaged in September two weeks after my 40th birthday. We want to try for kids so waiting until 2022 was a luxury we didn't have. We talked about having a small wedding and larger reception later, but my fear was we'd start a family and never get around to the larger reception later. So we picked October in the hopes that things will be normal-ish by then and are planning the wedding we want, but keeping an open mind that it could be anything from that, to just us and a handful of close friends/family.

    I think 2 wedding approach is totally fine and understandable in these times! I had one friend who had a minimony in December, and will be having the full reception on their 1st anniversary. She plans to wear different dresses, but got an inexpensive dress for her minimony. She had the minimony in her parents backyard and they just did a champagne toast and cupcakes after. Another friend eloped in July 2020 is and also planning a December 2021 reception.

    If you want to go the one-bigger-wedding route you could totally still pull it off. You just need to be flexible and diligent about making your plans. Years ago, I had a friend who got engaged around the holidays and had the wedding in June!

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  • Beth
    Savvy September 2021
    Beth ·
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    Yes, LeeAnn! We’re in the same boat! I just turned 40 & my fiancé is 41 and we both want to have a family. One of my concerns with having 2 dates in 2 different years was that we would be pregnant or just had a baby & we wouldn’t feel like having a reception later. Also that doesn’t make it fun for dress shopping!
    So since posting this we’ve decided to do just one ceremony/reception...and do it this year! We found a venue we love & even though it might be a little hectic, it’s worth it. I waited so long to find the right person why wait another year & a half to marry him? It’s nice to know we’re not the only “older” couple getting married & wanting a family. Thanks for sharing your advice. Best of luck to you!
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