Military question: Fiance to leave for BMT before or after wedding?

My fiance is in the Navy. Honestly, it's a little stressful worrying about if he'll actually get his leave approved to come home for the wedding and a honeymoon, even though we have a date he can't request leave yet where he is stationed. He said he is pretty much guaranteed at least 2 days for the actual wedding (which is obviously the most important thing). I'm not sure how different the Air Force is though when it comes to leave. If he is okay with waiting to enlist that would be my advice. Wedding planning is stressful enough without worrying if your groom will actually make it to the altar lol. Best of luck with whatever you guys decide!

I don't know much about being in the Air Force, but I know if I had the option, I would wait until after the wedding to enlist. There's too much uncertainty otherwise.

As someone who is active duty I highly recommend getting married then enlisting. The military will pay to move you with him once he gets his duty station. It's also easier to add you on as a dependant while he's in basic training, but it also can be done after. If it is done after you don't get the entitlements to move with him. This also places him in a position where junior enlisted are typically made to live in barracks where you would not be able to stay. If junior enlisted are married they go to family housing instead which is much nicer.

If you have any more questions let me know :-)

My FH is Navy. I would wait until after yall are married only because his leave might not get approved. Also, like Kimberly said he would be placed in barracks if yall are not married. Another thing to remember is he might not be able to stay in contact with you while at training which could make wedding planning a tad harder. My FH was able to get his leave (2 weeks) approved because he hasn't take leave in 3 years or so. But if it were me I would get married first because it just makes everything easier in the military process.

P.S. I know a lot of people that are still in the service way after the age of 30 if that is a concern with you. He might end up loving it and want to make it a career choice (my FH is).

Thanks for all the advice ladies!!! It probably is smarter to wait until after...plus I hadn't thought about planning the wedding without him! I guess I am just nervous about potentially having kids away from family...and the thought of being a military wife myself.

Sarah E. With your husband making it his career, will you two constantly be moving around?

Yes wait. My FH is in the Army and they always love to spring surprise mandatory events on you.

I agree with Kimberly Z. I'm active duty Air Force and highly recommend getting married, waiting about a month, and then enlisting. It'll make things a lot easier.

I'm surrounded by wonderful mommas who have children - even newborns and are away from their families. The military takes care of their own whether it is cheaper childcare, family resources, time off, etc. If you're in military housing you'd likely have an extra bedroom or 2 depending on the base where family could come stay with you for some time if you'd want that. You wont be the first people separated from your families but finding a support system makes it that much easier.

I was in the military. It is best he waits to enlist after the wedding and honeymoon. There is no guarantee that he will be able to take leave if you decide to get married after he enlist.

You will get to move with him as long as you are on his orders.

Can your FH not do a delayed entry? (don't they do that anymore?) - for example, he enlists now, but doesn't go to boot camp until after the wedding. My EX did this - enlisted in February, we were married in June, and he went to boot camp in September. Of course, this was 40 years ago, so things probably changed. I was with him his entire career (23 years, but we separated at 20). I had one child with him there, and one with him on the other side of the country. I can't tell you the number of Christmases, Easters, or wedding anniversaries we spent apart. We moved all over the country, TN, SC, TN, SC, HI, VA. It's the only part of my first marriage that I "miss".

Now there are many better resources for wives and family members. Plug in to that, and you will both be fine.

Thank you to your FH for considering this very noble career.

I'm going to let a user who isn't on here often know about this question, I know she works for the military and might be able to answer your questions. My old roommates now husband went into basic before they were married and she had a hard time being able to plan because of not knowing where he'd be stationed or how long, but they had a lot of issues with that in general. Good luck!

After doing five years in the army, I can tell you that getting leave is an incredibly stressful process. If I were you guys, I'd have him get married and then enlist. He can even sign up in march and prepare to leave after the wedding. I know I signed my enlistment papers and didn't leave until a few months later.

I don't have an answer for this but I am curious on the answers that are coming because I am in the exact same situation you are in!! Except I'm 19 turning 20 and he is 22... I finally just gave leeway to him to enlist and we are debating on meeting with the recruiter soon to get information... however I'm stuck on should he enlist before or after we are married!! This is honestly such a stressful decision to make! I completely understand where you are standing right now!

I just recently got married, husband is active Navy. We had a short engagement and small ceremony strictly for military related reasons but we do plan on having a bigger celebration type wedding party in the future with our friends and family. This may be an option for you once he joins and things settle down in regards to the Air Force and moving around

Wait until after the wedding to enlist. I am in the military and you have very little say in when you come and go once you enlist. I left three months before I was supposed to to go to Basic Training.

Get married first and then have him enlist. It will make things easier for many reasons and make things significantly less stressful. Basic is at a minimum that long, what if he gets put on a medical hold? What if his tech school date doesn't start immediately after basic, there is sometimes a gap between, or he doesn't get that assignment, gets held back, the school house closes for the holidays, or for a hundred reasons the timeline gets thrown off. Then there is virtually no guarantee of him getting leave once he gets to his first duty assignment. We have a policy of no none local leave until our new Airman are finished with what is called CDCs...and upgrade training, this can take up to 6 months. Then there is possible training classes. My point is the military is unpredictable and its needs will always come first. Get married first and save you, and your family the stress of planning a wedding with uncertainty. That also allows you to go to his first duty station as his wife and be moved there. It gets you military benefits sooner and starts that paperwork earlier meaning when he gets to his first base he can focus more on his job and his training and less on paperwork.