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Savvy February 2018

Military Fiance and OCS Wedding Planning

Jennifer, on March 29, 2017 at 3:40 PM Posted in Planning 0 3

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Hi all! My wonderful fiance proposed to me on my 30th birthday and completely blew me away. We are now in the beginning stages of wedding planning, but are faced with a dilemma as he is in the midst of enlisting in the Air Force as a chaplain (officer). We just got word that he's in the final stage and is just awaiting confirmation. Right now, we have no idea when he will leave for officer's training, and it's making it pretty hard to choose a date. We only know it will be sometime "before October". I've been told that it's best to marry before he leaves for training - for the benefits - and my fiance is considering this. However, I would like a wedding (I have an ailing grandmother who is looking forward to it) and I am not marrying him for any associated "benefits", but because I love him. We're just not sure of the best way to time things and I'd love to hear how others have handled weddings when their SO is joining (or in) the military.

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3 Comments

Latest activity by Jennifer, on May 6, 2017 at 12:29 PM

Super September 2017
Amber · on March 29, 2017 at 4:07 PM
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Training can be anywhere from a week to a few months. He should ask another chaplain.

Usually orders are in 3 year increments...again, not concrete. We picked our date right in the middle of this stationing. We were pretty sure that he wouldn't be deployed. Orders can be deferred but it doesn't usually look good when you do that. Most vendors will take military couples in stride. And most larger bases have an O club or a hall for formal ceremonies that he will now have access to. Yes not knowing sucks, but welcome to the hurry up and wait life.

If the FH had gotten orders to deploy we would have eloped and had a "vow renewal" ceremony for family and friends later because my worst fear is something happening and no one telling me anything because we're not married. If he were injured today at work I would have to get one of my military friends to get me a base pass to even visit him in the hospital.

Hope some of this helps
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Expert October 2017
klowry · on March 29, 2017 at 4:27 PM
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I honestly cannot stress enough how patient you will have to be! My FH is also in the AF and it has been difficult to say the least. We are told a lot of things that either take forever to actually happen or don't happen at all. Just be patient. I'm better at this than FH haha.
I must say that planning a wedding during all this transition (he has been at 3 bases in the past year), has been stressful. There are many times when I wish we would have eloped. Just follow your heart! Of course, everyone's experiences are different. If you want that wedding, hold out for it! I'm sure it will be worth it for us in the end.
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Savvy February 2018
Jennifer · on May 6, 2017 at 12:29 PM
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Thank you guys! I don't know why I never got notifications for your comments, but this was so helpful!
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