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Just Said Yes October 2013

military and sudden deployment, "ceremony" now and reception later?

Jocelyn, on December 20, 2012 at 6:14 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 6

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SO! my FH is in the military and we got engaged last month. originally his contract would have been up next october, giving us the option of a november wedding, which worked perfect with us. now he has the option to extend and deploy again in about 6 months, something that--financially--we can't afford to turn down.

we still want to get married before he leaves (he's staying in solely for financial reasons, why not get as much as we can, right?). i don't want to make it a big deal. i mean, i know it's marriage, it's a big deal, but i still want my wedding. i want the dress, the pictures of me getting IN the dress, i want a reception, i want all the things i've been planning to have... but that all has to wait now until 2014.

how would you handle the ceremony? it's so hard to plan around his schedule, and my family is from CA while his is in CT and he's in VA. UGH! 0.0 everyone will know we're married, do we still have the ceremony at the big event in 2014? help help help!

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6 Comments

Latest activity by Abby, on March 27, 2013 at 2:34 PM

VIP November 2012
Elisa · on December 20, 2012 at 6:22 PM
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My husband and I got married before he left for basic training. We just did a super casual courthouse ceremony and invited everyone who could come, then went out for lunch afterwards. My mom was unable to attend, but we just had our wedding ceremony on our 3rd anniversary so I got to put on the white dress and get pictures taken, etc. More people were able to come to that one.
Even though it was casual, the courthouse ceremony was very special and I would do it all over again and not change a thing. We pretty much had the ceremony to party, eat cake and get fabulous pictures in my dress that I had already purchased
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Expert June 2013
MrsNrs · on December 20, 2012 at 6:37 PM
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Funny you mention this.. =) my HUSBAND and I are in the military... and we're planning a June 2013 wedding. we eloped before our deployed (which we're both currently on)... NO ONE in our civilian side knows but us =) a whole year of just OUR marriage. with that being said... ceremony now reception later is a perfect idea and happens SO OFTEN in the military. do a casual ceremony with ur closest friends and family.. then the reception w/ everyone else, you wont regret it. also, not that I had a courthouse wedding.. but I have been to a couple and they're still as special and emotional as a traditional ceremony. its still a special moment, i'd say go for it!! plus you'll get more money if he's deployed and married... more money for the reception honeymoon
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Celia Milton · on December 20, 2012 at 7:42 PM
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I do this all the time. Have a tiny wedding, and then do your big do later on.
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Stephanie Hickerty · on December 20, 2012 at 10:13 PM
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My husband is military...I think planning a vow renewal with ceremony and reception is a grand idea. It's definitely not the first time it's been done.
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Just Said Yes October 2013
Jocelyn · on December 21, 2012 at 4:24 AM
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Thanks, ladies. feeling much better about doing all of this now!
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Super August 2015
Abby · on March 27, 2013 at 2:34 PM
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We are doing just that. My husband (Army) and I were married 8/17/2012...we now planning a vow renewal and reception on our 2 yr anniversary. I'll still be wearing a white dress and it will be pretty similar to a wedding, but we are making little touches to make it more "vow renewal"....i'm not wearing a veil or having bridesmaids. and instead of exchanging rings we are doing a "ring warming"..we will take our rings off, place like in a little fabric bag and they will be passed throughout our family so they can "warm" them with their prayers and blessings.
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