Mil...

She can be cheap with the things she is paying for but for things you are paying for or your family is paying for I would just let her know it’s being taken care of.

For flowers, please be careful with DIY. For arches, bouquets, corsages and boutonnières it’s very easy to mis-engineer them and have them fall apart at the slightest touch. If she wants to do floral centerpieces that is a bit easier to manage.

Also please talk to your FH about it. Let him know you are not ungrateful or trying to be hateful. I can understand being defensive of his mom but this is your (plural you meaning your FH and yourself) event.

I agree with PP. you need to talk to your FH right away and get on the same page. She can be cheap for some things but it’s YOUR day and somehow you and your FH need to talk to her about that. If you don’t she’s going to ruin your special day.

If she's not paying for it then she shouldn't be saying anything. I'd tell your husband you think her saving skills are great but there's a time and place for them and you dont think now is it.

I agree with the previous person. I would just try to talk it out as gently as possible. But also know that it both of your wedding and not just yours. Have a list of things you don’t mind being diy so that way your mil gets what she wants and you get the quality of the things that are most important to you. If you want to help her pick it all out so that way it’s not “tacky” then you might have to do that. What she thinks is beautiful is different from what you think is beautiful. Everyone families are so different. Mine are completely different from my fiancé and we had a hard time with it in the beginning but we learned to work around it.

Pay for it yourself?

The best thing to do would be think of a task or two you are comfortable with her DIYing. Tell your fiance to tell her "hey mom we've got everything covered, but we'd love it if you can handle this and that" Then just act excited when she talks about those tasks, and tell her "we have that covered" when she brings up other tasks. This does mean you and your fiance will have to contribute financially but it's the only way to get what you want. The cheap way of doing things is all she knows. She definitely is not going to change no matter what you say to her, so there's no point in trying or arguing.

I would've lost my cool completely, so kudos to you for staying calm. I don't think you're being a bridezilla! This is a wedding, not a family reunion or Uncle Bob's birthday party.

You and FH need to get on the same page or this could fester into resentment for him not taking your side. He needs to stick up for you! I would leave FMIL out of the wedding planning as much as possible. It's your wedding, not hers!

I would also add that if your FH can stand it, ask him to watch a few wedding shows on TV with you. I found that watching "Four Weddings" with my now husband (of 6 days) actually helped him gain perspective on the cost of things and also the variety of weddings out there.

At least she's involved my FMIL hasn't helped at all nor even tried to help...

I would try using a word other than cheap. I am DIYing a bunch of things and I don't think I'm cheap. I have boxes full of saved up glass jars and wine bottles, and I wasn't aware there was "a way wedding were supposed to go" & we are paying for our wedding ourselves, so parents aren't supposed to do anything.

To me it sounds like he is being defensive because you are kind of being harsh. I would be pissed and hurt if someone referred to my mom and her ideas as CHEAP and down right tacky. You can simply say "I wasn't planning on using wine bottles, but maybe I will consider it" and leave it at that. Or the vision WE are going for is move xyz

View Quoted Comment Thanks for the input but I think you may have understood a little, we are DIYing multiple things and together both her and I are collecting and decorating wine bottles it was the DIYing of things that don’t need to be DIYed that I asked advice on. Also don’t we all have ideas of how weddings are supposed to go in our own minds and how we would like the day to look and go? Yeah. So thank you again for your input.