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Dedicated May 2019

mil with baby

Cherish, on July 20, 2019 at 3:15 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 5

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Any ideas on how to deal with Mother in-laws/grandmas?? My MIL seems to not care at all about me, only the baby, and I know it’s just going to get worse once my baby gets here. She pretty much treats me as an incubator for her sons child which is whatever, I’m not her biggest fan either but it’s just annoying and I feel like I’m going to snap🙄 she talked to me and my husband about how she tries so hard to have a relationship with me and I just don’t care, but she has only ever reached out to me once and that was because my husband told her to🙃 I’ve reached out to her before but she doesn’t say anything so I stopped once I became pregnant because I don’t have the energy to be doing this but I know I have to😩 she’s super overbearing and has no boundaries with my husband and I definitely want to set boundaries with my baby.

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Latest activity by Nikita, on July 21, 2019 at 8:17 AM

Master September 2019
Sarah · on July 20, 2019 at 3:18 PM
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If she has no boundaries with your husband, he needs to be the one to set boundaries with her before your child gets here. It isn’t going to do any good if you try to set boundaries but he lets her do whatever she wants.
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Dedicated May 2019
Cherish · on July 20, 2019 at 3:20 PM
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He’s tried, just recently actually and she pretty much blamed everything on me so he had to explain that it wasn’t my fault to her and then she cried and still blames stuff on me. Just not as directly
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Champion October 2018
Kelly · on July 20, 2019 at 3:25 PM
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For boundaries I would suggest therapy to have a professional walk you thru this and to get on the same page. It’s a tough thing to navigate on your own.
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Dedicated August 2020
Jasmine · on July 20, 2019 at 6:08 PM
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I think you, your husband, and child should distance yourself from her for a bit. That way she can see that you guys are a family now, and if she wants to be apart of it, she needs to make more of an effort.

My mom used to always tell me, “I will always be nice to your boyfriends even if I don’t like them, because one day you can choose to marry them and have a family and I won’t be able to see grandchildren if he hates me”. So your MIL needs to realize that she is distancing herself from her grandchildren if she continues to act that way. Just my suggestion! Good luck!
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VIP April 2019
Nikita · on July 21, 2019 at 8:17 AM
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She could be using you as the walking incubator because that's her attempt at 'trying.' It's an easy thing you have in common... My sister gets the same thing from her in-laws and it drives her nuts. Unfortunately, I have no real advice there. She pretty much stopped trying to change the dynamic after they moved several states away.

Since you all are really trying to work through boundary setting and building a relationship but are going in circles, I suggest family counseling. That may be able to stop the pattern from continuing.
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