mil wants to invite coworkers

It’s YOUR wedding unless these coworkers of hers are involved in your life i wouldn’t be inviting them. Weddings are to expensive to invite people who really aren’t involved in your guys life.

I would just say no to all of them. I feel like she would have trouble choosing just one and that may cause her to be sour. You can tell her that you can't afford to host the extra people and leave it at that. If she offers money to cover their costs, then you and FH can make the decision. I hope it works out!

Agree with PP, say no! Ugh so frustrating!

It is totally fine to say no. If you’re feeling generous you can offer to let her pay for them. The guest list for your wedding is completely you and your fiance’s decision.

I had a similar situation with my FMIL. Here is what I told her: "our guest list isn't finalized yet, so we aren't sure we can accommodate them. I'll write them down though and add them to it if we have the space."

It is WAY to far out for her to be inviting people at all. She should have better manners than that. Tell her you will consider it so she feels heard and closer to the actual wedding inform you aren't inviting them. She'll have to deal with the consequences.

Totally ok to say no, however if you really don't feel comfortable telling her no, I second the "she may pay for them" option. My mom knew our guest list was already overflowing, but she wanted to invite some friends as well. I told her as long as she paid for her guests, she could have as many on her own list as she wanted. A lot of these people I don't know at all, but because they are close to her, they know of/about me, as she's shared so many pictures and stories. They feel like they know me through her in that way at least too.

JUST SAY NO! Seriously it’s best to start saying no now. We didn’t and my FMIL tried adding 20+ people to our guest list 4 months out from the wedding. Unfortunately for me she asked only FH so he told her she could invite 6 that we would pay for but anything after that she would have to pay. FH and I are paying for most of the wedding ourselves with a little help from my parents. FILs are only paying for rehearsal dinner which looks to be maxing out at about $1000. They’re not hurting for money at all either. My parents struggle more monetarily and they’re giving way more. FILs have been almost impossible to talk about money with our whole engagement they almost refused to pay for the rehearsal because they thought my parents should pay for everything. So I would have told her no to all of them since I had sent out all STDs and had already ordered and received all the invites to send out in less than a month when she asked. I was pissed and now we’re paying minimum $600 more than we budgeted for.

Thank you all for the responses! If she had asked first I might be a little more open minded about it, but since she just assumed I'm just going to tell her I'll consider it and shoot it down at a later point. The whole family is super pushy so I'll have my hands full trying to put my foot down 🤣 thanks again! I wasnt sure if it was a normal American thing and I was overreacting or if it was overstepping boundaries, for lack of a better term

If she is not going to pay for her coworkers, I would probably tell her no. It's a hard thing to do, especially when you're marrying into their family and you don't want to hurt her feelings, but it is what it is. I had thought I was going to run into this problem with my FMIL, but she's luckily distracted by my FSIL's wedding in a week, in which she also invited everyone she's ever met lol. It's rude to invite people to someone else's wedding period. Explain to her that you are tight on budget if you're really worried about her feelings.

My feeling is that even if she agrees to pay for the coworkers she wants to invite, who are these people to you and FH? That's the more important point, I feel. Do you know them? Have you even met any of them? Does FH know them? Met them?

I could understand if these are long time coworkers of FMIL who have known FH for a very long time (through his mother), and have had some part in his life. Then it would make sense to invite at least some of them. But if the only reason they are being considered is because these are the people in FMILs life, and she wants to show off for them (which is what it sounds like), the answer would be NO WAY!!!