MIL-to-be inviting too many people

I dont, sorry. but i know how you feel. my mother did that to us last year our guest list went from 30 to over 200!!! and we couldn't afford it. so we canceled the wedding and had a small thing with those close to us that helped us make it to that point! and didnt tell my mom about it and told the guest this was very very hush hush! now that we have saved we are tring it again. fortunately my mom has kinda backed off scince the last time. and the guest list is much more under control!

YES. Have your FH explain to her why they won't be invited. You HAVE to have his support here. It's difficult to make your desires known to the FMIL but he should be the one to break it to her. My FH went through his parents guest list and anyone he didn't know, we cut. No ifs ands or buts!

Yes. If she is paying crappy for you. If she is not paying your FH can tell her sorry mom we are paying for this and it's $$ per plate not $5 like it was in your day, Im sorry these people can not come.

I am hoping that doesn't happen to us. As we really don't know anyone in their area where we are getting married and only family and his best friend. Good luck. I am more open to more people at the reception which is where I grew up and just moved from.

It's your day with your FH. Fh needs to do the talking since it's his mom, but you both need to go over there together and tell her that both want it to be ONLY close family and friends to the two of you, and if she has a problem with that, she needs to deal with it! You don't invite someone to the bridal shower and not the wedding etiquette wise. It needs to come from FH's mouth, but your FMIL needs to be told that it's your wedding and not hers, so guest list invites are made final by you guys and you want only close friends and family and she can be unhappy about it, but that's how it is. She may get mad, but hold your ground! Good luck! And you CAN have people come to the reception and not the ceremony...that is fine...but if they are invited to the ceremony, they are automatically invited to the reception. :-)

I agree. Leave that up to your FH to handle for you. You don't want to cause issues between you and your MIL right now. My MIL is basically my wedding planner. If I do have an issue, I tell my FH and he deals with it. If he doesn't think it's an issue then it lessens the importance of it to me too. I am lucky though, that woman has been a miracle worker.

My MIL is trying to do the same thing. She handed us a list with over 20 people on there that she wants invited to the wedding. I have not met any of them! We are paying for everything ourselves!!! No way I am paying for that many people I have never met to come to our wedding....especially if that means cutting back on other things to afford it. No Thank You!!! I would ask FH to deal with her. My hubby and I have an agreement....I deal with my mom and he deals with his!! Luckily my mom has been a breeze. Good Luck!!

I had a very similar experience this past weekend! MOH is a school teacher and wants to invite the entire faculty to the wedding.... Just be open with your fiance and let him know you're not comfortable inviting people who you don't know or who he doesn't know. It's perfectly fine to feel the way you're feeling! A wedding should be intimate (at least I think so) I want close family and friends to be there... Not random people...

No advise here. I would be upset. My DF and I asked my FILs if they were planning to chip in our near future wedding and said NO well with that said we are not inviting the damily just DF's parents and his brother. They better not have the guts to ask why we didn't invite so and so. They did that with my son's bday and I told her that she hs some nerves knowing she didn't even help with the party. My mom pay half of everything. My son's 1st and 2nd bday. So whn our wedding day come they shouldn't be asking knowing they did not chip in. I never picture my wedding big just small.

As long as she is not paying you do have some pull here imo. I understand what she is saying especially if your FH's family is not large. She wants to know people at the wedding that she is comfortable with so she can have a good time. If you are getting marreid at her church I would strongly suggest you let her invite the women from her bible group. As for the other guests perhaps take her to dinner w/ FH and have an honest conversation about the budget. Let her know you want her to have a good time, but you can't afford all of her friends even though they knew (insert FH name here) when he was 12. Ask her to pare the list down to 3-5 of her closest friends. That way she has control over who comes but your budget doesn't expolde.

I feel your pain...my FMIL invited 4 people to a bridal shower that hadn't been on our original guest list...luckily, they live far from the wedding, but I do feel we need to send them invites now...my mom is paying for most of it (his parents are doing the rehearsal dinner and alcohol for wedding)...but yeah, I'm getting kind of stressed by the sheer numbers of invites we're sending (over 300 people invited).

We have had the same thing with the brides grandma. I said oh your single you get one plus one. Pick who it is and that is the 1 count it one person you are inviting. She says well other people like to run too, oh your coming to our house this is not your friends vacation place. no no and no we are not sponsoring your friends who the bride has not met.

I know this is so stressful because my FMIL is doing the exact same thing. We have to keep our guest list under 50 people because of the small venue we booked for our intimate small wedding but she just keeps adding people, some we don't even know! I agree with everyone else on getting your FH to talk to her about trimming her personal guest list. Shes more likely to listen to him and not have hurt feelings. Hang in there, your not the only one having this issue.

If she is paying for wedding then please handle with care. Tell future husband to help you both out and talk to her about setting a limit on the guest count.

If she is not paying, then you guys are not obligated to invite any of these "extra" guests. Again have future husband talk to her for both your sakes.

Im going through the same thing, but MIL guest count is almost 200. Where is my family and friends?

We just had a similar thing happen with our guest list. My FH and I picked a number, and let his parents know that they had that number of people that they could add to the guest list and that they would have to choose. Since we are paying for everything ourselves, we had the ability to set a specific number.

However if your FILs are paying for the wedding, you do need to allow them to invite her guests whether or not you have met them.

Our daughter's FMIL was given a number for the guest list, however, she went beyond that number. So, my daughter and FSIL went through and pared down the list and invites were sent. Now FMIL is verbally inviting people to the wedding and reception. Just found this out when I had her look through the RSVP list and she told me to add people. My daughter's future in laws are not paying for anything my husband and I are. So, I do not feel they have any say. I stepped in and pointed out there are only so many seats at the small church and venue and that is why our children came up with a Master invitation list. They already have 2/3d's more people coming than we do already. We just want our daughter and FSIL to be happy and this has caused everyone a lot of unnecessary stress. Any advice on how to better communicate the wedding couples wishes is appreciated.

Our daughter's FMIL was given a number for the guest list, however, she went beyond that number. So, my daughter and FSIL went through and pared down the list and invites were sent. Now FMIL is verbally inviting people to the wedding and reception. Just found this out when I had her look through the RSVP list and she told me to add people. My daughter's future in laws are not paying for anything my husband and I are. So, I do not feel they have any say. I stepped in and pointed out there are only so many seats at the small church and venue and that is why our children came up with a Master invitation list. They already have 2/3d's more people coming than we do already. We just want our daughter and FSIL to be happy and this has caused everyone a lot of unnecessary stress. Any advice on how to better communicate the wedding couples wishes and the limited guest number is appreciated.

Our daughter's FMIL was given a number for the guest list, however, she went beyond that number. So, my daughter and FSIL went through and pared down the list and invites were sent. Now FMIL is verbally inviting people to the wedding and reception. Just found this out when I had her look through the RSVP list and she told me to add people. My daughter's future in laws are not paying for anything my husband and I are. So, I do not feel they have any say. I stepped in and pointed out there are only so many seats at the small church and venue and that is why our children came up with a Master invitation list. They already have 2/3d's more people coming than we do already. We just want our daughter and FSIL to be happy and this has caused everyone a lot of unnecessary stress. Any advice on how to better communicate the wedding couples wishes and the limited guest number is appreciated.

This is happening with my FFIL and FGMIL. It is getting so bad that it is causing unreal stress for my FH's mom!