Shirley
Expert November 2020

mil fight on Reddit--ww thoughts?

Shirley, on January 20, 2021 at 5:41 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 12
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So I came across this post on reddit from a bride who is in a fight with her MIL about the color dress the MIL wants to wear to the wedding (unspecified but it seems like it may be ivory from the post?) The bride plans to kick out MIL if she shows up in the offending dress.

https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/l18ypw/shes_wondering_why_she_cant_wear_the_same_colors/

I don't know if I'm just too burned out by pandemic planning to fight about these things anymore, but my first thought was "just let her wear the dress and focus on yourself." I figure that if someone wears white to a wedding, they look dumb but they don't ruin your day. But again, I was focused on bigger issues in planning, like my entire day falling apart due to covid.


Anyway, what are your thoughts, WW Community? What would you do?

12 Comments

Latest activity by Christine, on February 1, 2021 at 9:20 PM
  • Chrysta
    Master November 2022
    Chrysta ·
    • Flag
    I’m with you- I’d just let her wear the dress (assuming it wasn’t a wedding dress)
    • Reply
  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
    • Flag
    I would let it go. I agree with you, she will look like a fool.
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Rockstar October 2022
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    Some mothers/inlaws are narcissistic enough that they really don't want any attention on the bride. While it may not be an issue for some, it could easily be a trigger if this is her normal gaslighting behavior. Since people who do this type of thing don't spring it up out of the blue...there is a pattern of behavior.
    • Reply
  • Caitlin
    Devoted May 2021
    Caitlin ·
    • Flag
    I mean id be upset if someone came in something close to a color im wearing..
    We got security sooooo they can be asked to leave, go back to macys and change ha. I just dont need people talking about that person who looks silly all night. Come on people KNOW better.
    • Reply
  • Katie
    Rockstar August 2020
    Katie ·
    • Flag
    Reading that makes me appreciate the relationship I have with my MIL. Mutually respected - I didn’t give her any rules of what she could wear (didn’t cross my mind) and she would never pick a white dress. Very thankful 🌸
    • Reply
  • Belle
    VIP August 2022
    Belle ·
    • Flag
    My dh’s mom wore something eye catching bright and more expensive attire than what I wore at my elopement. No one said anything to her, and I was too heavily pregnant to even care. She ridiculed herself 🤷🏻‍♀️
    • Reply
  • Samantha
    Rockstar October 2022
    Samantha ·
    • Flag
    Yeah, I’d just met it be, she will look silly and it will be her own fault.
    People do this stuff to stir things up. Don’t feed it.
    • Reply
  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie ·
    • Flag

    I'm a huge proponent of picking your battles. And that particular battle is not worth fighting, at all. I know people who post in that subreddit usually have long history of boundary stomping behavior with their MILs, but I still think this fight is not worth the stress and effort to fight. I would just ignore, ignore, ignore.

    • Reply
  • Stacey
    Super May 2021
    Stacey ·
    • Flag

    That post seems like it's 0% about what dress/colors are being worn to the wedding and 100% about two women battling it out for control in a really unhealthy way. Unfortunately, there won't be any winners in this situation. And for the record, I don't give a rat's a** what anyone wears to our wedding as long as their private parts are covered. Smiley laugh

    • Reply
  • RaylaSan
    Expert February 2021
    RaylaSan ·
    • Flag

    Boi, idk about you, but I would be so peeved if my mom / mil showed up in a wedding dress. That's so humiliating. But if it was a normal white dress, like a summer dress or something, I probably wouldn't care tbh.

    • Reply
  • Rebecca
    Master August 2019
    Rebecca ·
    • Flag

    Let her wear whatever.

    As always, people's actions reflect on THEM, not on you.

    • Reply
  • Christine
    Dedicated June 2021
    Christine ·
    • Flag

    This happened the first time I got married. My former mother in law wore an ivory flowery dress - and she was happy and looked nice. No one will remember what the MIL is wearing!

    • Reply

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