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Bree
Beginner May 2021

mil Dilemma

Bree, on August 5, 2020 at 1:10 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 14
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My mother in law is a Jehovas Whitness, my husband left the religion as a teenager and can no longer speak to his mother or his grandparents which i know bothers him quite a but (he will go back to the church once a year to just sit next to his grandma)... Since i was never within the religion his mother keeps in contact with me. I'm torn on the invite them even if they don't show up. I want to and i would love for them to show up even if they can't speak since they were not there for his first 2 (same woman) weddings. He is truly happy and not just getting married because of pregnancy so i need to know what everyone else would do. I think it would be the best day for him as well if they did show up even tho they can't speak...

14 Comments

Latest activity by Martha, on August 6, 2020 at 9:07 AM
  • Kristen
    Rockstar November 2020
    Kristen Online ·
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    I would invite them. You at least know you tried and then it is on them if they are willing to put their religion over their son.

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  • Melle
    Rockstar June 2019
    Melle ·
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    I would also just extend an olive branch and invite them
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  • Bo Miller
    Expert November 2021
    Bo Miller ·
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    Invite them. Even if they don't come it shows how much you both want them there.

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  • Molly
    Rockstar September 2020
    Molly ·
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    I would invite them for sure. You never know.

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  • Emma
    Super October 2020
    Emma ·
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    I would invite them. Though I think it’s super messed up that because he was raised in the religion and left they can’t speak to him but because you were never in it they will speak to you.
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  • MIWM
    VIP June 2019
    MIWM ·
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    I say invite them! If they don't show up that's on them.

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  • Sinaya
    Devoted August 2022
    Sinaya ·
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    So he hasn't spoken to them since he was a teenager? I would invite them as long as FH is ok with it. This way you guys are showing that you still love them and want them there. If they choose not to come at least you know you did your part.

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  • Jana
    Rockstar October 2022
    Jana ·
    • Flag
    Does he want them in attendance? If so, no one can stop them from talking to each other even if her religion forbids it. You're not bound by those rules in your home or at your wedding. If they show up, great. If they don't , at least you tried.
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  • Bree
    Beginner May 2021
    Bree ·
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    Yes he misses his family a great deal but won’t go back to the church just to be with them. We have decided to invite them but no he hasn’t spoke to them since he was in his late teens
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  • Jana
    Rockstar October 2022
    Jana ·
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    Hopefully they decide to attend. They should be allowed to visit when they want with no fear whatsoever of the church leaders. No family deserves that.
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  • Bree
    Beginner May 2021
    Bree ·
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    I agree. I feel like even if they don’t speak while there showing up would go so far for his mental state.
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  • Katie
    Expert August 2021
    Katie ·
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    I would talk it over with your fiance first and then if he wants them there you can invite them and if they don't come thats on them and at least you tried.
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  • Rebecca
    Rockstar August 2019
    Rebecca ·
    • Flag

    So, um, here's the thing. They aren't ALLOWED to speak to him. That's a very strict rule with Witnesses.

    This is a very sticky situation because it's a religious issue.

    You absolutely have to speak to your FH about this, and navigate the complexities of the culture with him.

    But be prepared for them to ignore you completely.

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  • Martha
    Devoted October 2022
    Martha ·
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    I agree, your FH should be included in the decision.

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