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Expert October 2020

Might not be able to attend a wedding (just venting)

Futuremrsm, on December 9, 2019 at 11:40 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 9

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So my FH and I have been engaged since last november. This month his cousin got engaged. Him and his now fiance are both from different states, and plan on getting married in a different state that neither side of the families live in, IN TWO MONTHS! My fiance told him that if it's in a different state, we most likely cant attend since we are saving vacation time for our honeymoon. His cousin got mad that he said this, and my FH said that it was unfair to expect us to pay for airfare and a hotel (which would probably be about 1k for a weekend) when he knows we have been planning our wedding for over a year now. Dont get me wrong, we would love to attend and celebrate with them, but I feel like it's rude to be angry with people when you decide to get married in another state that is a plane ride away. Especially when we got engaged first. He is a groomsmen in our wedding party, and I dont think theres hard feelings because they're men and just get over it really quickly.

They are now couple number 5 in our friend group that are getting married, and I dont even feel like anyone is excited for our wedding anymore since they're all focused on their own. One friend is even having their wedding a day before ours. I just want to have the attention for once haha. I am happy for everyone though!

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9 Comments

Latest activity by Anna, on December 9, 2019 at 1:11 PM

Super March 2020
Jennifer · on December 9, 2019 at 11:44 AM
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Well they certainly didnt leave people time! To expect people to just come up with travel money is a tall order. Don't let that bring you down.
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Champion July 2019
Veronica · on December 9, 2019 at 11:45 AM
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I'm sorry you are upset, but if he is planning a wedding that quickly he can't expect everyone to make it. At one point, I considered planning a wedding that quickly because I wanted to get married in October and we got engaged in August and my sister was supposed to be getting married the following October. My husband said no to planning a wedding in two months because he didn't want the pressure of pulling off a wedding that quickly and he didn't want to make it difficult on people we wanted at the wedding. I'm sure people are still excited for your wedding. I had a friend that went to 13 weddings this year and he was just as excited for each one.
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Expert October 2020
Futuremrsm · on December 9, 2019 at 11:46 AM
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I know. I'd love to go! Especially when they said maybe California or texas. But we are trying to buy a house, and pay for a wedding. I would just do two separate receptions if I were them. Both of their parents have offered.
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Expert October 2020
Futuremrsm · on December 9, 2019 at 11:47 AM
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I know. Hes just a groomsmen in ours so I'd love to go. But I hope he isn't genuinely mad at us. We still plan on sending a gift! I know that's not what matters but its something.
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Expert October 2021
Vannesa · on December 9, 2019 at 11:51 AM
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2 months for you to save money well anyone to save money for that matter to fly and go to their wedding would be out of the question. Asking someone to spend that much on that sort of notice shouldn't make or break their day.
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VIP January 2019
Maggie · on December 9, 2019 at 11:58 AM
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It doesn't matter who got engaged first but I agree that brides & grooms shouldn't get mad at people who can't attend their weddings, for whatever reason. Not being able to afford the plane fare is a completely legitimate reason, but I wouldn't bother to keep trying to explain. Just decline with regret and remain cordial.
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Master November 2020
Kristen · on December 9, 2019 at 12:05 PM
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No they are doing this the way they want which is fine but wanting everyone to accommodate their plans. They are being harsh and I get it, be disappointed they cannot come but it is rude to expect people to drop their money for their day in a short amount of time. Hopefully he will get over it and if not then bye to him.
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Super March 2020
Jennifer · on December 9, 2019 at 12:09 PM
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Well people can be selfish. They expect people to drop their lives to attend a wedding. I was offered a bridesmaid position once and I declined. I would have lost income and been out about 1k for wedding expenses. Not to mention, I had been saving for my dream vacation for awhile and refused to give it up. We owe ourselves great things in life as well. The couple never spoke to me again. Again, some people think their day trumps everything else.
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Super August 2020
Anna · on December 9, 2019 at 1:11 PM
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Agreed 100%. It really doesn't matter who got engaged first- that has nothing to do with it. Our good friends got engaged long after us and planned a wedding for 3 weeks after ours. We have tons of mutual friends in different areas, who would have to fly to attend either of our weddings. There's no way all of them will be able to come to this area twice in such a short time, but I don't at all expect that they will "choose" our wedding just because we got engaged first. My point is: people don't put their lives on hold just because you made plans first. I agree with Maggie just decline with regret and it will all work out in the end !
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