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Rebekah
Just Said Yes May 2021

Microwedding/destination Wedding Invitations

Rebekah, on June 9, 2020 at 11:50 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 6

So we have decided to do a microwedding outside of our home state next May, but my SO's parents still want to invite everyone on the list that we had originally planned on for a traditional wedding, which is fine with me. However, we have absolutely no clue how many attendees we will have. We've had lots of family saying "oh yes we'll be there", but its going to require them to drive 18 hours or fly, so we know some of them will end up not coming. The biggest issue I am posed with is finding a reception space. I have no clue to plan for 70 guests or 35. If we sent out invitations now in order to allow guests to start planning and saving and asked guests to RSVP through our wedding website at their earliest convenience (with a deadline of course), would that be impolite? I also don't know what that hypothetical deadline to RSVP would be. I was thinking the end of next January, but I know that not everyone can guarantee they will be off work by that point. I just feel so stuck because I can't find a reception space without an estimated guest count, and I am not even sure what that guest count would be.

6 Comments

Latest activity by Elizabeth, on June 10, 2020 at 4:42 PM
  • A
    Super December 2020
    Anais ·
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    You should plan for the number of people that you have invited because you won’t know how many people will come until everyone has RSVPd.
    You could ask to RSVP as soon as possible and people should know in advance since they’ll have to make travel plans.
    I’m in a similar situation. We live on the west coast and 95% of guests live on the east coast or in Europe. We have had a lot of people already make their travel plans (were getting married in December) but we still don’t know whether we’ll have 145 people (number we invited) or 100 so we’re just planning and saving expecting that everyone will be there.
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  • A
    Super December 2020
    Anais ·
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    Also, I think January is way too early to have people RSVP like you said between work and needing to save up for travel, I think that super early. I wouldn’t do before March unless your venue needs counts earlier. You just need to find a venue that holds all people invited.
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  • Vicky
    VIP January 2020
    Vicky ·
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    It's rude to ask people to RSVP early. Everyone would love to know numbers as early as possible, but as a host you need to give your guests a reasonable RSVP date, which is about 3-4 weeks out from the wedding, or 1 week before your venue needs final numbers. For planning purposes you need to make sure that you can host everyone you invite just in case you have 100% acceptance rate (it does happen, even if it's not likely). In your case, find a venue that can physically hold at least 70 people. Tell your caterer that you're inviting 70 but that you estimate ~35-50 people attending (e.g.). Make sure you have the budget to feed all 70, just in case.

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  • Jasmine
    Master August 2021
    Jasmine ·
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    Definitely stick with and plan for the larger number of guests. No harm, no foul if the number of guests decrease. I think January is too early to RSVP for sure. You can also ask your caterers when they require a final headcount. Personally, I'm setting the RSVP deadline a month before the actual RSVP deadline just in case I have to hunt down stragglers.

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  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    You will want to find a space that can accommodate the number of people that you are inviting. In order to give everyone enough time to plan, I would send save the dates. Invitations don't normally go out until 8-6 weeks prior to the deadline with the RSVP date a week or two before your final headcount is due to your caterer so that you have time to follow up with guests who forgot to RSVP. Sending out invitations too early and having an early RSVP deadline can result in problems with guests not knowing if they can actually attend which could mean you end up with a lot of guests not replying or having to change their response last minute.
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  • Elizabeth
    Super June 2021
    Elizabeth ·
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    I think you can ask for RSVPs really early, but I wouldn't just because it's likely not to be accurate. Lots of people will think "i'll say yes just so there's a spot if we do go, and then end up not going," so then your count won't really mean much. I'd plan for the largest number possible (i.e. everyone you're inviting) and then worst case, you have more space. Really, given the current climate, that isn't a bad thing!

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