Just Said Yes September 2022

Microwedding - still have wedding party?

Danielle, on September 21, 2021 at 9:02 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 5
My fiancé and I are planning a microwedding, 20 people total including us. All are family, except for 2, which are my best friends. I feel that the entire reason we chose a microwedding is because we aren’t fond of the majority of wedding traditions & we like the intimacy of small wedding.

Question is, should we still have best man and maid of honor? I feel that since we’re not going the traditional route, they won’t be standing at the “alter” with us, that it’s not necessary. They would essentially just be helping plan bach parties and bridal shower (it almost makes me feel like we are depending on them for the difficult parts leading up to, but not giving them the same recognition on the wedding day)
Also, since I have my 2 best friends coming, I feel like one will get this title and one won’t, when I feel as if they will both put forth (pretty much equal) effort. I say we forgo the wedding party idea and just leave it at us, but my fiancé thinks it will be best to have someone help us leading up to the day. Thoughts?


Latest activity by Sexypoodle, on September 22, 2021 at 10:07 AM
  • Lav
    Devoted October 2022
    Lav ·
    • Flag
    I was not going to have any bridal party because I am also having a small wedding and I don’t have friend or anything here since I am from another country, (we are roughly plant 60 guests, but mostly will be 40 showing up) … but I need two person to sign the marriage license with us.. so I am going just to have a maid of honor and my fiancé will have a best man, I am not crazy about that idea, but I am getting along.. we will not have a bachelorette/bachelor party or a bridal shower since we are going with monetary registry/contributions.. you can pretty much do anything you want. I am also not having my maid of honor get ready with me, I want some “peace” before the event lol… will be only me and my mom most likely.
    • Reply
  • Fiona
    Expert May 2024
    Fiona ·
    • Flag

    My only thought as mentioned above was do you need people to sign the wedding certificate with you? Apart from that you should do what you want and not have any. Can you organize the bach parties and kitchen tea yourself? Smiley smile

    • Reply
  • Elri
    Dedicated September 2021
    Elri ·
    • Flag
    I’m almost positive you only need one signature and that can come from the person marrying you. We had 40 guests and if it weren’t for our kids we would not have had a Wedding party. I personally don’t think it’s necessary for such a small Wedding. You can ask people to help even if your not having a Wedding party. It’s a small Wedding and I’m assuming it’s mostly comprised of family and a few close friends anyway? I had so many of guests ask me to help in any way if needed. I can relate to the getting ready alone idea, it seems like you may not be the type to need or want help anyway?
    • Reply
  • Samantha
    Expert May 2022
    Samantha ·
    • Flag

    Sounds like it would cause more problems than it would solve. You can still gently ask one of them if they wouldn't mind helping with bach parties, etc. This is pretty normal in this age of non-traditionalism.

    • Reply
  • Sexypoodle
    Master October 2021
    Sexypoodle ·
    • Flag
    It sounds like something that you don’t truly want. Plus having bridesmaids and groomsmen isn’t mandatory at all…. So skip it!! Let them relax and enjoy your wedding as guests. If you need assistance leading up to the wedding, then hire a wedding planner. That’s their job and not your bridal party’s obligation anyway. Also, simply they’re your best friends, they’ll likely help with little tasks just because and host a pre-event whether they’re a bridesmaid/groomsman or not (or perhaps a family member will host something). But, either way, the small things you named aren’t reasons to have a wedding party when you don’t want/need one.

    A friend of mine only had her twin sister and 2 neice’s in the wedding. But the bride has 2 best friends. So instead of a bouquet/garter toss, the bride said some special words about them and wishes for them, and then presented the best friends with flowers and a gift (groom did the same). I think it serves as a nice way of acknowledging your best friends.
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