Micro wedding

There are a few common scenarios with micro weddings, and it's hard to tell exactly how you'll feel or how things will turn out.

We downsized our wedding to about 35 guests but kept pretty much everything except the DJ -- I wore my original dress, still did flowers, kept the original venue, etc. -- so it was still quite expensive. We had intended to have a more traditional reception with our larger guest list in 2022, but due to finances and whatnot, I don't really see a "part 2" realistically happening. Therefore, I'm thankful that I got to wear my dress and have a somewhat "normal" wedding experience.

There are people who have done a low-key initial ceremony without many traditional elements, and have been completely satisfied with the wedding, so they canceled part 2.

There are others who had a similarly simple wedding, don't think part 2 will happen for a variety of factors, and are sad that they didn't wear their dress or do more to make it feel like a "normal" wedding.

I'm happy with our decision overall. We're married, have beautiful pictures, and got to share the day with important people -- including my two grandmothers -- and feel like we can move on with our lives now. But I am bummed that there are moments we'll just never get to experience.

It sounds like you and FH are on the same page and have similar priorities. I would discuss the pros and cons of the different options and scenarios with him, but then be firm in the decision that you make. Families and friends of 2020/2021 couples need to understand that all of us are being forced to compromise and make difficult decisions, and need to respect what you two agree on.

I'm super shy, introverted, and a people-pleaser/peacemaker too! Even with our small wedding, I was nervous, but the ceremony ended up being one of my favorite parts.

Fortunately, our guests were very supportive. We had sent out save-the-dates to our full list and then had to send out "Change of Plans" cards when we decided to downsize; the response that we got was overwhelmingly positive and understanding. Beyond that communication and a notice on our wedding website, we didn't have to personally explain the "uninvite" to anyone.

With a global pandemic, I can't believe that some people are still being stubborn and offended about not being invited to a gathering. Your aunts, uncles, and cousins should know that they would of course be invited if these were normal times, but it's just not feasible. Have your parents actually talked with them, or are they just assuming this will be their reaction?

Do your parents know how common micro weddings/part 1 & part 2 weddings have become? Maybe a conversation about that will put them at ease.

(I do think your brother's girlfriend should be invited though, as they are a couple.)