Mental Health

Let me start by saying that there's nothing "wrong" with you, and I'm sorry you're feeling this way. My FH struggles with anxiety. Most days his medication works great for him and he feels on top of the world, but some days he gets in a horrible rut and is almost wallowing in how horrible he feels and how bad he feels for feeling that way, it breaks my heart. With your wedding being so close, I would imagine it is the stress on top of your existing anxiety taking a toll on you, but don't let that overcome your excitement for your wedding! Try to accept that you may not be feeling so great right now, but that you KNOW you're happy. Even those of us who don't necessarily struggle with anxiety/depression can get in some funks where we don't even know why we're feeling down, but I promise it will pass. Try to do something for you that clears your mind so you can refocus on being so close to marrying your best friend

I’m sorry you’re feeling like this. I’m living the best time of my life too and it’s not logical but I’m having a lot of anxiety and I’m seeing a therapist. I’m trying to work on living in the present, not past or future. If I had good advice I’d take it myself lol but know you are not alone.

I’m sorry you are feeling this way. Anxiety is a terrible thing as I suffer from it from time to time. Try to do something special for yourself. Maybe go to the spa or have a friend come over and watch a movie together. Something that takes your mind off of it for a while. Deep breathes and remember you are marrying your best friend soon. Good luck.

You’re not wrong to feel that way at all. I’ve also suffered from anxiety and depression for many years and I do think any significant stressors (even positive ones!) can trigger anxiety. I found myself feeling this way multiple times throughout the process and then feeling guilty for feeling that way and for not enjoying it more, and then the guilt would make me more depressed.

The thing is, weddings are so glamorized and the idea of “bridezillas” and women getting anxious about their weddings is basically demonized, so we feel wrong to not feel happy about it. But...... regardless of how excited you are, it’s extremely stressful to host a big/expensive party! You’re absolutely entitled to feel overwhelmed... I’d say you’re crazy if you didn’t! I think there can also be some depression going along with it because you’re worried the day may not live up to expectations... which is also a totally normal way to feel.

I will never forget 2 days before my wedding, I had just gone out to dinner with my family and my husband’s grandparents, and then we spent a couple hours with a few out of town friends. Then we went back to my mom’s house and, instead of being “happy” like I “should” be, I found myself overwhelmed with anxiety to the point that I was nauseous and having trouble breathing. At one point I told my husband I thought I was going to puke. I seriously thought I must’ve gotten food poisoning from dinner or something. But nope..... anxiety! I took a bath, then my mom made me some tea and I sat on the couch with her and my brother and my husband and watched Friends until I felt better lol.

At the time too I remember thinking, this is so freaking unfair! I’ve been looking forward to this weekend for so long and i didn’t even consciously feel “anxious” but I think my body had confused anxious-excited for anxious-stressed, and thus sent me into panic mode. Totally unfair? Yes. Mental illness IS unfair 😕 and I am so sorry for you and your FH and anyone who has to deal with it. But the LAST thing you need is to be beating yourself up over how you should or shouldn’t feel. Feel depressed or anxious or overwhelmed? Take a step back. Take a night off from planning or even thinking about the wedding. Watch a movie and have some tea. Get together with some friends. However you feel is valid, and please prioritize SELF CARE and taking care of your mental health before worrying about how you’re supposed to feel as a bride.

I hope you feel better and CONGRATS on your day being so close!!

Maybe it's your period coming or anxiety because of change. Before my period I experience depression. This was never the case until the end of last year, now its every month. It took me a while to realize when it was happening because nothing is wrong, my life is overall pretty good but I'd just get spells of depression for like a week then I'd be fine. My husband has anxiety, it gets worse when change is coming, even if its happy change. So before the wedding it got pretty bad and most recently when he got a big promotion at work. Both were things he was SOO happy about but the fact that it was a change of some sort made his anxiety a little bit worse.

There's definitely nothing wrong with you. Planning a wedding is stressful, being in front of an audience is stressful, having to meet and greet with family members is stressful especially if you have anxiety (I suffer from it as well). My cousin called yesterday and asked if I was excited and I told her I was just ready for it to be over with. Sending hugs your way.

Nothing is wrong with you! And the fact that you are with someone who understands what you’re going thru and supports you is so absolutely amazing. You are a very lucky girl! I suffer from anxiety as well. Don’t say anything to him about it now. Let him enjoy his bachelor party fun but after he comes back let him know how you were feeling. He will lift you up again and love on you and hopefully it will help you out and is what you need. We don’t get to pick when our anxiety and depression is the most convenient for us to feel or get but just try to cheer yourself up in that you are not alone, you are so loved & about to commit to someone you can face life’s obstacles with. You got this!!!! Be strong

Not to sound like a broken record but the ladies here are 100% correct... there is NOTHING wrong with you. Life happens and it can be stressful and overwhelming. All of our bodies handle life different, but please know that you're not alone. The whole wedding planning is a process and I'm sure even if you don't realize it your internal body is already freaking out because you're about to get married! That's a huge deal and the body is trying to process what is going on. Try to take it easy this weekend and do some relaxing but fun things. If that means a trip to the hot tub by yourself or with some friends do it, maybe it's curling up on the couch and reading a brand new book, whatever allows you to breathe and find peace. Put your focus on that and try to remember that nothing is wrong with you so don't be giving yourself a hard time. Good luck!

My FW just went through a very severe case of depression and kept saying she shouldn't be depressed when she's happier than ever. She wasn't on medication but went on it and feels a difference, still our brain chemistry can really mess with us even on meds. There is nothing wrong with you, your brain just works differently. I know you don't want to worry him but I do think you should let him know what's going on. He cares about you and knows what to look for, he should get a heads up that things aren't quite right at the moment. Having said that, do you have a close friend or family member that you can lean on while he is away? This will not only help you while he's gone, but help him know you are being cared for. I hope this is very, very short term and you are back on the road to joyously planning soon.

Peaks and valleys.. Just think of it this way, you're in a low place now so that you can be ready for a big high coming up!

I'm so sorry to hear that you are feeling this way. Have you done any self care lately? A massage? A bubble bath? Listening to music and jumping on the bed? Whatever your version of self-care is? If you haven't, I wonder if that could be a contributing factor

Hun I have anxiety too and I’ve had depression, no matter how joyful the stress is it’s still stress and your brain unfortunately can’t tell the difference. Just remind yourself that. As for your FH, my FH is the same way. I have it worse which can trigger his sometimes. Our grooms just care so much. ❤️ Even if you feel down, it’s ok, just acknowledge that it’s not anyone’s fault, wedding stress just brings out the bad feelings sometimes.
Feel free to PM to vent if you’re feeling alone.

Sorry you are feeling this way but know you are definitely not alone nor are you crazy! I have never suffered from anxiety so I can't say I completely know how you feel but I do sympathize with you. Through out this entire wedding planning process, it has been an absolute blast! We have had so much fun with everything which is great considering we have done all the planning, paying for, decor etc ourselves. I don't know what it is but for the past week or so, I have just not been myself. I can't focus, feel like I am having panic attacks all the time. Yesterday I got lost going to a store I have been to hundreds of times and didn't realize it until I was a town away and today, I literally couldn't even remember my address, ugh! With this being both our second marriages, it should be a piece of cake lol. Anyway. I am trying to remember to breath and that we are almost to the finish line. Looks like you are also a September bride. Just hold on a little while longer girl, we are gonna get through this and be married to our best friends very soon! If you have any girl friends or sisters close by, see if they can come hang out with you for a bit or go for a girls night. Maybe they can help to take your mind off of everything for a little while.

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Ditto this. Do something nice for yourself that's not wedding related. It's helped me out a lot. Wine and bubble baths, wine and bubble baths haha.

Don't beat yourself up worse for something you can't help!! I know how easily addicting that spiral downward can be. As someone who also struggles with depression, I know its easy to tell yourself how you're "wrong" for feeling depressed, and because you make yourself feel bad for that it only gets worse and becomes a vicious cycle, beating yourself up & feeling worse. I know its a weird spot to be in too, everyone expects you to be all happy with no other kinds of feelings because you're planning your wedding, some people you don't feel like you could even try to tell because they just wouldn't be able to wrap their minds around it. But you can't help what the chemicals in your brain do; if any of us could, no one would have depression ever.

I wish I had actual advice to help you, but as someone who's struggled with chronic depression for the majority of her life, I know how different depression can be, even in one person throughout the years. Things that never helped before now do, and things that did help, now don't for me. The best advice I can give is, use what works for you, maybe try makeshifting what he does to help. Wrap up in his favorite blanket, as tight as can be with his pillows smushed in to try to feel that cuddled feeling, put on one of his shirts & breath the smell in deep, if you have a weighted blanket - those are amazing & I love mine. And if all else fails, message him. I'm sure your FH would hate to find out you were struggling & felt like you couldn't reach out to him, as he'd rather make sure you were ok more than anything. And if you can't bare to tell him, just send him a message saying "Hey, I hope you're having fun. I really miss you already, and would love to chat just a little" Idk about your FH, but mine knows sometimes I just need to talk without talking about it, before I can feel strong enough to say what I need. It sounds like your FH would understand though too for sure

I hope this passes soon for you

I also suffer from an anxiety disorder. Anything “exciting” only serves to make me more anxious instead of happy. I’ve found that chunking wedding planning into bits has helped a lot. I recruited a sister to help me with anxiety inducing phone calls. It could be ramped up right now for you knowing your major support person is traveling and will be away. And that’s OK. *hugs* Have you tried weighted blankets?

My therapist says screw the word "should". It just leads to more anxiety and depression if you feel like you or others "should" be acting, feeling, etc a certain way because then you do feel like somethings wrong with you! But nothing is. Something that's helped me is literally saying "screw what I "should" be feeling, this is how I feel and that's okay to feel this way". Accepting the way I feel as okay, even if it's bad or I wish I didn't feel that way helps me feel less anxious. Good luck!

Thanks ladies! You all are amazing!! I am feeling better, last week was just awful! I did a little bit of self care, went out with some girls, and I'm feeling on top of the world again. I appreciate all of your kind words & reminding me that I'm not alone!! Y'all are rock stars.

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I love that, thank you!

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It probably was the traveling along with a few other factors. I have not tried weighted blankets yet, but I so want one! FH said that he would get me one for my birthday. So I'm pretty excited about that! Thank you for reminding me that I'm not alone.