Memorial Table

I lost my grandfather whom I was close to when I was 13. I've also lost family members, including my step dad that passed away two years ago. FH lost his father, and a few close friends. One of his lifelong friends passed away recently. We have decided not to do a memorial table. My entire family, I don't think, would be able to handle that. It's already an emotional day, I don't want to put anymore onto my family. I've decided to do a memorial charm in honor of my grandfather, it will go on my bouquet.

I understand the loss of those close to you, but, personally, I don't think a memorial table or remembrance should be at a wedding. It could be upsetting to some family members, who are still hurting over that loss.

I think the idea of a memorial started when someone had lost perhaps a parent, and close to the time of the wedding. I think perhaps this whole idea has gotten too big. Everyone has losses in their family, as part of life, but not everyone wants to be confronted with a memorial table of all of them while at a wedding.

Other ideas: Put a small note on the back of your wedding program, if you are having one. Something like "remembering in our hearts all our loved ones who cannot be with us today". Also, the bride & groom could review which guests have perhaps lost relatives, and they could have a mention of it privately to that guest. "Hi, Aunt Sarah, I'm so glad you could be with us today. We're thinking of Uncle Bob today, and are missing him." That way, the loved one is remembered to those who will be mourning, but it's not a public display.

We aren't doing a table, but holding a seat with a sign to signify the loss of important people. My FH has lost both his parents and wanted to "save a seat" in remembrance.

Still undecided if we will do a memorial table but leaning towards no. We are very fortunate and have not lost anyone prematurely. My grandparents, whom I was very close to, have all passed away. FH still has two grandparents. I will attach photos of my three grandparents on my bouquet and we are using my grandparents cake topper from the 50's. I am waiting to see if FH family has the cake cutter or toasting flutes from his deceased grandparents wedding.

Using something like this for photos in bouquet:

https://www.etsy.com/listing/112413866/custom-wedding-charm-photo-memory?gpla=1&gao=1&&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=shopping_us_e-weddings-jewelry-pendants&utm_custom1=05d5b23f-d214-43eb-8118-ad73f735b79a&gclid=CjwKCAiAt8TUBRAKEiwAOI9pADvwe-SXUlzAx-OfzqtOHQCYIRwPL7ITIf-vvVXZXFW9cvHLKfAzkBoCQz0QAvD_BwE

I think a whole table of multiple people is too much. Like PP said, everyone has losses but you don’t want to draw attention to it or give a somber feeling. It’s a wedding, I don’t think that’s the place for memorial setups

It also would depend on the loss and when it occurred. A friend of mine was married last year. Her Dad died unexpectantly just weeks prior, so it was fitting that she had a memorial table for him. I thought about this at one point as I was really close to my Nana, but have decided instead to wear a bracelet she gave me that she had engraved for me. So the memory is there but not as public.

Have you thought about a "Generations of Love" or "Years of Love" table. That way you can put pictures of them with their SO or with you and them. It is a way to honor and honor them, honor living relatives, and celebrate love and life.

I am thinking about getting one of these frames or diying one for my lost loved ones. Since my FH lost his mother and his father probably won't be there, we are thinking of doing a rose on the front chair as well. He and his mom were super close and I know he would have wanted her there.

I bought this. It won't be a whole table or a big "to do" because I don't want to be sad. It is honoring my mom and SOs dad. It will be in the seating chart and gift/card table area.

We've had some very recent losses and didn't want to do pictures. Too emotional. We are doing a lantern with a candle inside lit for them

We are doing a picture frame with my fiancé’s parents pictures.

I will be in the minority here but I am not a fan, especially with photos. One poster said she saw photos of her deceased grandmother and cried so hard she has red eyes in all the photos. Remember, your senses are going to be already heightened and to see an empty chair could be overwhelming. I am a fan of "Hey we had funerals, let's celebrate a happy day now!" I am old school - a wedding should be a wedding, not a memorial. We all know Gramma is not here. Plus I have to have a talk with my sister not to bring the urn containing our mother's ashes to my wedding......(yes there is a real concern)

We didn't do a table or anything like that. Like pps, I am not a fan. Everyone in your family knows who has passed, I don't understand the need to make a big public display reminding people.

There are plenty of smaller, meaningful ways to remember someone. People have used a favorite flower, wrapped their bouquet in a piece of clothing, used a special song, done bouquet charms, served a special food or drink, etc. to honor someone. I wore the family necklace my grandma wore at her wedding to my grandpa, and H's family had a round of his grandpa's favorite drink at the reception.

We have lost all our grandparents, a few cousins, and some close friends. I am undecided on this. I know I don't want photos, but was thinking just a special candle lit near the cards/cake/seating card table. To me a wedding is a happy event and a celebration. Everyone knows whose not there, and I thinknphotos or a big display may touch the nerves of some people and I don't want that.

I lost my mother when I was just a kid. I asked Dad about the empty chair thing early on in planning and his response was something like " No, please don't. I don't think I could handle that. I never stopped loving her or missing her all these years (28 years). Fast forward about a year, dad had been fighting cancer and was loosing his battle. ( I got married 2.5 months early in his hospital room days before he passed). I ended up finding a memorial vase on ebay or etsy and had it personalized with my parents names on it and the years or birth and death. Our names and the date on the back. I then took it to local candle company and had it filled with wax to match the wedding and put it on a table of pictures. All of the grandparents and my parents wedding picture. That large candle is now on display in our home with our other wedding keepsakes.

I have to say I agree with PPs and am not a fan of this. While there are circumstances in which it’s appropriate, in general a memorial table seems a bit out of place. A wedding is a joyous occasion, not the time to remind everyone of lost loved ones.

I do like the “Generations of Love” idea suggested above though. Displaying wedding portraits of your parents and grandparents would be a beautiful tribute to the love in your families without being too upsetting.

We are not doing a table, or a chair. The wounds are still too fresh. I am doing photo charms in my bouquet. We have both lost our grandparents. My grandfather passed a couple months ago. We lost a dear friend who was like a sister last year. He just lost a family friend who was like a Mother to him last month (His real mother is not in his life, thankfully). His best man lost his mother a few months ago. I ordered a bunch of the charms from Amazon and will start making them soon. I know I would be a mess if I saw the empty table or chair, as would he. We both agreed the charms were the best way to have them honored.

We are doing some photos not in a central area so you don't have to look at this if you don't want. The empty seat is REALLY creepy to me.

We decided yesterday we would do one. It’ll be for FH grandparent’s, as he only has one living grandmother. She is letting us use her wedding candle and we will have it next to a picture of her late husband and FH’s other grandparents. My grandparents will be able to be honored during the wedding, and this is just a sweet way for us to honor his.

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I think this is a lovely idea.