Meeting with Pastor/pre marital counseling

I don't see why you would have to worry about offending the pastor. If he doesn't like your approaches to spirituality, you can find a different officiant. I can't say what anyone else's premarital counseling would be like. If it is actally premarital counseling, it would be more than one meeting. Our officiant gave my husband and I a packet of questions to have conversations about and we were not reqired to talk about anything specific with her, but chose our own sticking points. But we met several times before ceremony planning even started.

We are Unitarian, so we had a UU minister officiate, and she asked us what kind of spiritual path(s) we are on so the ceremony would be appropriate to us, what we wanted out of the ceremony and then sent us options for wording for different parts. We sent her our suggestions for parts of the ceremony and she put them all together.

View Quoted Comment Thank you for the insight. I wasn't sure if it would be a huge deal. He didn't mention a second meeting and my family member said we only would need to met with him once or twice. I just didn't know if saying to him I am a person of faith but I dont want a super religious ceremony, would come off rude. (I went to a wedding recently and it felt more like a Sunday sermon than a wedding ceremony, very much don't want that.) You're right though I suppose if my spiritual stance doesn't fit with his we might just need to find someone else. I think into things, I'm most likely thinking too much into this. Haha. Thank you.

I wouldn’t worry about it. They usually just want to discuss how you’ll handle finances, disagreements, etc in premarital counseling. It seems like he may just want to discuss your ceremony. Those are usually several sessions and he is just asking for a meeting.

View Quoted Comment This puts my mind at ease. Thank you. I am very anxious so it being a big unknown makes me so nervous.

Most pre martial counseling is kinda like a way to work out the kinks before the big day
I am a wedding Officiant and I on for premarital counseling especially if I am doing an interfaith wedding because sometimes what’s not a conflict now will conflict when there’s children involved on how the children will be raised or are your in-laws want to put in their two cents and I help sort those problems out before they spend thousands of dollars on a wedding and then after year they’re divorced because they hate each other

View Quoted Comment Oh wow that is intense. Haha. Although neither of those apply to us. I think I'm starting to see it's very much a "let me ask both of you a few questions to make sure you're both ready to get married, and won't end up divorced." all this insight on what might occur or be asked is helpful.

FuturemrsS -

Congratulations! It’s an exciting time, yet can be overwhelming with the unknowns. I am a minister who loves doing weddings, actually both my husband and I are ministers and we enjoying meeting with the engaged couple together.

I would encourage you to contact the minister that you are having do your wedding and simply ask him what the two of you should be prepared for in this meeting. I am sure he would be happy to share with you what will be the focus of that time. He may want to simply want to get to know the two of you and have you share with him what you want your wedding ceremony to look like.

I would encourage you not to become anxious about it. I wish you blessings not just for your wedding day, but for every day that follows in what I pray will be a marriage where you will both choose to love each other every day!