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Dedicated September 2021

Medium vent

Margarie, on April 28, 2020 at 6:52 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 4
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This is more of a vent than anything. We have been planning for so long that I never thought

I'd be one of those brides where I would be allowing someone to come to our wedding that I don't

really value being there. What started off as a large elopement turned into a small wedding and reception.

Initially it was just supposed to be my fiance, his mother and brother (due to health problems we did not see my future father in law attending) and myself and 3 of my closest friends (on my side as well my mother and grandmother were unable to attend due to health issues as well. We were going to have a small celebration with our children and my family prior to leaving to elope. Once I created the group for our party for us to all stay in the loop without asking me or my fiance my mother in law adds my fiance's aunt and uncle to our group. I wasn't happy about it but wanted to make the best of the situation and proceeded to incorporate them in our big day. We also had a vision of no children at our event (at the time our own children were not even going to be in attendance) Uncle announces he will be bringing their daughter who is 12 with them. Fast forward we are now up to 32 people to now include our children (the youngest is 19) and a few more of his family members that we want there as well as my own. With the exception of the 12 year old we have made it clear no children on the rsvp and we have had the tick box pre checked prior to send out for each guest as to rather or not they are allowed to bring a plus one.

When making the list of people as we are paying 100 percent for everything on our own we both decided that

while the change through us both for a loop we would get caught up and enjoy the moment and not let any other things kind of swing us off course. We decided we were only inviting people that are truly close to us and play more than just a casual role in our lives. We were set we had a plan. Upon talking with my future mother in law my fiance's step sister took it upon herself to invite herself to our wedding. I wasn't thrilled because we haven't heard from her nor talked to her in years and we truly only wanted those type of attendees. We both once again made lemonade out of lemons and told ourselves she is only one more person to just let it ride. Well after going out the way to invite herself she completely gave us the run around when attempting to get her to RSVP and decide if she will be having the chicken marsala or lobster surf and turf. From email to voice mail to text she refuses to respond to either of us but will tell my in laws she plans on coming. I got feed up and left her one last message stating I would be putting her down for the chicken since she is unresponsive to us. She messages very short "chicken fine been working" as if we don't work as well. Now she is asking my in laws about bringing her teenage daughter but has only said two words to us at all. I feel like this is somewhat rude of her and I have let my fiance know this is where I draw the line she doesn't have a plus one and no children are allowed. We will have an open bar etc and even up until our youngest got a certain age we just didn't have them at events that are adult in nature. If she does not reach out to the two of us and brings her daughter anyway she will not be permitted to attend. My future brother in law will be hosting a larger reception about 350 people for us the very next day still no children but she will be able (the sister in law) to come to that. Had to just get this out.


  • Jennifer
    VIP August 2021
    Jennifer ·
    • Flag

    I'm so sorry this happened! My only advice would be that at some point you have to out your foot down! They aren't paying for it, you are, so what you say goes! You'll see on here a lot that people gave up their visions to please family and end up regretting some of those decisions, so do what is best for you!!

    • Reply
  • Cassandra7
    Super August 2006
    Cassandra7 ·
    • Flag

    Cancel the whole thing; it's completely out of hand. Elope. All by yourselves.

    • Reply
  • Lauren
    Beginner August 2021
    Lauren ·
    • Flag

    This is wild! I am so upset for you. Bless your soul. I know I would have blown my stack by now.

    • Reply
  • Margarie
    Dedicated September 2021
    Margarie ·
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    I’m just trying to keep my composure and get caught up in all the other happiness surrounding us. The same aunt and uncle are problematic in the sense they don’t respond to anything in our wedding party group but post thug life game updates so much I had to ask them to stop posting that mess in our group. I would assume they would take things more seriously being older but hey it is what it is. I won’t let it get on my nerves.
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