Me and fiance can't agree...all outdoor vs. wedding barn

Without a backup plan (tent) and it rains, your wedding is F*****d. sorry lol. Go with the barn, men don't know what they're doing half the time lol

I hate even asking for help because I don't want to seem like I am whining, but we have been stuck like this for about a month. I don't want to be a nutcase for the next 6 months planning this and a nervous wreck worrying about the weather, the "what ifs", and a zillion extra little details on top of everything else that goes along with wedding planning!

Compare the costs. Literally calculate how much every single item would cost to bring at his choice vs yours and reiterate that if it rains, it all goes to shit. I'm not trying to get you into an argument with him lol, but he may need to see it in writing.

We are doing something similar. We are getting married outside of the barn and having the reception in the barn... in case of rain we have the barn we can get married in. FH wanted to get married outside as well, so we have a nice compromise.

The barn venue actually has numerous places onsite where we could have the ceremony if we wanted (which would be nice and much cheaper than having the ceremony elsewhere), but he wants the campground for the ceremony. Even though it would be such a huge extra cost, I told him that I was fine with having the ceremony at the campground if that was what he wanted. But I actually made a spreadsheet of the costs of reception at the campground vs. reception at the barn so he could see it and a list of pros and cons of each location. After we went through it all, he looked like his favorite dog just died. It was the saddest face. I don't want him to be unhappy about what we choose, but I don't want to be a nutcase for the next 6 months either! Plus I can't book vendors without a location! How does everyone else make the location decision if you don't agree? Or does the guy just usually say "whatever you want" upfront? lol

I read your post through once -- the word "primitive" jumped out at me. Then, the word "campground" jumped out at me. My first thought was bathrooms. My second thought was rain. Then I finished your post and realized that you are right and he is wrong. If he wants something primitive, it really shouldn't be a wedding with guests. You're idea promises a much better experience. By the time all of the services are brought in to give the feeling of a primitive, earthy wedding, it will be neither primitive or earthy. It will just be needlessly expensive (and those vendors bringing lights -- they'll insist on tents in case of rain. They will not risk it).

Maybe try to compromise and find a place that has something for both of you! =)

Maybe you could have your rehearsal dinner (have a picnic, a bbq etc.) at the campground, and have your wedding at the barn for a happy compromise?

For us I basically picked a few venues, showed them to FH and we decided on our chosen one together. He was basically like "whatever you want" though.

Yeah... The campground just sounds like a bad idea. There won't be bathrooms, the ground is uneven for older people attending to get to, no back up plan for rain, lots of bugs at night, etc. you know. Could you do a first look at the campground and take pictures there before the ceremony? I feel like that is a very good compromise and does not add any extra stress other than adding in more time to get from there to the venue for the ceremony and transportation. But that's much less complicated than having even just the ceremony there.

Exactly! This campground, though it is lovely and nestled between 2 mountains, literally has nothing except for a bathhouse. There is a nice lodge on one side of the campground which we will probably use to get ready in, but it would only work for wedding if we were only having 25 or so guests instead of 90-ish. But all electricity would have to be run from the bathhouse (really appealing idea lol), the main lodge, or a generator (gotta love the racket that those make). It just seems like a big mess and a not a great "thank you" for our guests or celebration of our marriage. And yes, with there being no tent we would be S.O.L. if the weather was bad. He seems to have a "what's the big deal?" attitude about pulling this off.

Totally second @MrsBest2B, rehearsal dinner @ the campground would be a great compromise. Not having a rain plan would stress me out so much. I'm planning my ceremony outside and hate my rain plan, so I will be checking the weather like a nut case closer to the date. I think I'd give myself stress hives if I didn't have a back up at all!

I think you need to just put your foot down on this one. "I'm really sorry, but a full on wedding is just not going to work at the campground. We can have the rehearsal dinner there, pictures, ceremony even. But it's impossible and is a big deal." Case closed. I'm all about rustic options, but it's your wedding, not a camping trip.

This is my rain plan spot, I love it! I mean, it'll suck because it's also the cocktail hour area and dance area, but not awful if it rains

Crystal - I have looked into lots of wedding venues around here. They were all way too much, booked, or too far away for him. I have looked and looked to find something else....no luck. MrsBest2B - that's a good idea and worth a shot. Pancakes - yes, yes, and yes! Massive amounts of problems with the campground reception idea. But yes, maybe the "first look" there would work. I don't care about the whole "he can only see me when I am coming down the aisle" thing, so maybe that would still make the campground part of the day while making things easier on the guests too. Would it be weird to have the first look a couple hours before the ceremony? I had never even heard of the "first look" until a month ago lol

The campground isn't really an option because no vendor is going to do it without a tent. Also what about the cater. I can't Imagine one working without electricity or water. What if a guest get lost. Most campground don't have very good cellphone reception if any at all

The campground isn't really an option because no vendor is going to do it without a tent. Also what about the cater. I can't Imagine one working without electricity or water. What if a guest get lost. Most campground don't have very good cellphone reception if any at all

You need a generator, a tent, lights, exit signs, tables, chairs, flatware, dancefloor, tables for food/cake/gifts, DJ set up, probably two more generators, a bunch of portapotties, shuttles, a floor for the tent, I could go on... Oh, and water access.

I'm spending 13k alone on rentals for tent, chairs, flatware, everything....and I'm not getting a floor. Doens't include generators, portapotties, shuttles, or hiring staff for parking.

Tell him that.

Very good points Julia T. His idea was that the caterer would use the lodge to keep the food and they'd bring it over/out when it was needed (we're having a bbq buffet). And yes, with it being in the mountains and in a valley, it probably doesn't get good cell service. He sees having the lodge there would be a staging area of sorts for the food (but it's not big enough as a ceremony back-up location). But yes, we would still need to bring in EVERYTHING.

Do a pros and cons list together and include EVERY pro and con thought of... Don't shoot any down, then discuss.

That sounds like a logistical nightmare! Just....no. Its very sweet that he even has a vision for your wedding, but like we say to every bride here.....think about your guests. The only thing that location sounds like it brings to the table is pretty pictures and less expensive. Trust me. Go with the venue that won't be such a headache.