Me again... full of questions...

Have you spoken to your FH about it? What does he think? He knows her better than any of us and should be a better judge as to what she might think about that.
I think your heart is in the right place and you seem very sweet. I’m not sure if the ex would want to stay by herself in a place she doesn’t know. See what your FH thinks and I’d probably recommend that if he agrees, that he should bring it up to her and not you.

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He shuts down. Anything that isn't clear cut/easy to handle he just... doesn't do it. Confrontation isn't his strong suit at all

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Ok, then he needs to learn to deal with this.

Especially as his parents haven't met his kid!

A counselor might be a good option, here, as they can help mediate discussions as thorny as this, as well as develop strategies to deal with the on going problems.

That said, this sounds very nice, but liable to backfire on you.

She could turn you down flat out of spite. Provided you are past the worst pf Covid, you should petition for a court ordered temporary change in custodial visits to allow her to be with her dad and family for a week to tem days. Ask a few days extra, in case weather or airlines cause delays. You would have no trouble having counsel consider this best for the welfare of the child long term. Particularly at age 7, and meeting some family like grandparents for the first time. It may matter what destination you choose. Don't choose a really poor country with poor medical care, or other hot button issues. Neither of you may even have to appear. You might do a brief video deposition in your attorney's office, judge willing.

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It's a perfectly nice idea, but it literally doesn't matter what we think. I wouldn't do ANYTHING involving his ex-wife that he doesn't explicitly agree to. And ideally, all communication with her should go through him as well. This is something he needs to figure out for his daughter's sake, but you can't manage this for him.

Luckily he has more than a year before the wedding to work on his communication and co-parenting. I would encourage him to do that and then stand back until he asks for help.

You shouldn’t do anything that he isn’t 100% on board with. If it’s that hard to get her to agree to his regular visitation, your FH needs to file an order of contempt and establish this issue with the court. If he’s just said “eh whatever” any time she’s gone against their agreement, he’s likely to have a struggle convincing a judge he deserves even more time. Even if you offer, she could still say no and if it’s international travel you’ll have to get her permission regardless of whether it’s your week with the daughter or not.

Thank you everyone. I am going to sit back and let him handle this one. I'll budget to afford airfare/lodging for ex if that's a route we pursue, but I won't press it/meddle.

Thank you for the insight everyone! All these things that pop up as a potential headache with wedding planning

Let fiance handle this and arrange to meet at another time such as a summer picnic family reunion. It is rude and awkward to arrange for kids to travel for the wedding but be restricted from attending.

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We would 100% want kiddo to attend wedding & festivities--just not her mom/FH ex-wife. She'd be free to do her own thing and wouldn't be expected to entertain the kiddo at all if she agreed to only let their daughter come if she came (admittedly idk the child as well as I want to and may potentially cause distress to travel and be away from mom for the week we plan to be gone). I'd try to allocate money so mom could have a vacation herself and not just travel and lodging expenses.

I do think I'm going to take a backseat on this one though and let DH handle it- my eyes are open to how potentially toe stepping and messy it could be if I assert myself.