Skip to main content

Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

MrsVoegs17
VIP September 2017

Maybe TMI... Birth control, no sex drive?!

MrsVoegs17, on July 17, 2017 at 9:38 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 33

To give a little back story, I was on Mirena for 5 years, and then went off and got on the pill and have been on that for the last 3 years. It seems like over the last year, year and a half, my sex drive has completely disappeared, and FH is having a really hard time with it. He thinks that I am not attracted to him or don't like having sex with him. I love him to death, couldn't imagine my life without him, and of course am very attracted to him. However, my sex drive is just non existent. Like I literally am never in the mood, and I couldn't care less if we only did it once a month. I have a hard time focusing when we do do it. In addition, I feel moodier and more emotional than ever. I've read online and talked with some friends who have had the same thing happen, and they've chalked it up to their birth control. Has anyone ever had this happen? How did you handle it? Did you switch birth control? Are there any supplements that can help with this? I feel like part of it is wedding

33 Comments

Latest activity by Vanessasaurus, on July 17, 2017 at 12:00 PM
  • MrsVoegs17
    VIP September 2017
    MrsVoegs17 ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Stress and other distractions, but part of me feels like the lack of intimacy is really unhealthy for our relationship.

    I guess I'm looking for more of a vent here, and should probably check with my doctor. But any advice is appreciated!

    • Reply
  • The Trap Selena
    Master March 2016
    The Trap Selena ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    It's very common for that to happen. I would talk to your doctor about possibly switching your dosage or BC altogether.

    • Reply
  • Chelsea
    Devoted May 2018
    Chelsea ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I would switch mine. There are lots of types. I know the first one I went on turned me into a total psychopath. Literally crying all the time, like if it rained on my way to work/class when I didn't have an umbrella it was a sob fest and the world was ending. Since then I found another one with way way way less hormones. I would talk to your gynecologist to see what they say. Maybe they know something better for you.

    • Reply
  • N
    Master December 2016
    Nancy ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Check with your doc. Your body may be going thru some major changes hormonally. This is why I use natural planning and a diaphragm. No offense, but I wouldn't do all that to my body.

    • Reply
  • LillyBean17
    Master October 2017
    LillyBean17 ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Very, very common side effect.

    • Reply
  • JSull
    Master October 2017
    JSull ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    There are soooo many different brands of BC out there. One little thing can mess me up so I've had to switch quite a few times since I started them at 18 for endometriosis. I would go talk to your doctor. When they hear your symptoms, they'll be able to pin point what ingredient in the pill could be having this effect and give you something different.

    • Reply
  • Maria
    Master June 2018
    Maria ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I'm sorry you're going through this. You're not alone! My sex drive isn't totally gone but it's much lower than it used to be. I'm not sure if it's the birth control or if I grew out of my raging teenage hormones phase. I was in the mood All. The. Time. Consulting with your doctor is a good bet. It's great that you have a timeline of when you've noticed these changes. Good luck!!

    • Reply
  • Raina
    Super October 2017
    Raina ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    This happened to me not too long ago, my new insurance couldn't cover the brand of pill I was on so they switched me to a generic brand. Within two months of taking that, and it was like I never wanted it and the thought of it didn't interest me. It really bothered me and I thought the same thing "Am I losing interest?" I went and talked to my doctor who said it was the brand, he switched me back and told me when I switched back right away to have a schedule and follow through with it until I felt normal again and it worked! Obviously stress can play a huge role but birth control is pretty common for causing a lack in libido. Just talk to your doctor.

    • Reply
  • MrsVoegs17
    VIP September 2017
    MrsVoegs17 ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    @LG... should I look into making the switch now, or wait until after the wedding? I don't want to throw my hormones and emotions into a crazy roller coaster in these last two months.. or mess with my cycle..or gain weight? But FH is worried I won't even want to have sex on our wedding night (which I will regardless, lol).

    @MelissaHH, I am on Sprintec... which says it's norgestimate and ethinyl estradiol (I believe it's a dual hormone?) The first year and a half was good, my sex drive was actually out of control. Now whether it was really out of control or due to the fact that FH and I had just started dating and I hadn't had sex in over a year prior to that.. Who knows. I know that at some point relationships get less intimate but I don't think only doing it once a month is normal!

    @Ella, honestly FH and I have both been struggling with anxiety/depression so that wouldn't be too far fetched.

    • Reply
  • Rae
    Devoted September 2018
    Rae ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I experienced the same thing with all of my past bc pills. I went off of them recently because I was feeling miserable, and after about a week or two my drive came back in full force lol. Currently using a non-hormonal form of bc, and I'm going to the doctor soon to get advice on other methods. I DO NOT want kids for a few years, but I've been on so many different pills and idk they just don't react well with me. I'm constantly miserable. So you're not alone!

    • Reply
  • Millie
    Expert April 2018
    Millie ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    This happened to me! I'm also getting my masters and work as a nurse so I'm always stressed out and anxious so hopefully it gets better when I graduate in December. Otherwise, I would talk to your doctor about it.

    • Reply
  • RaeGin
    Master September 2017
    RaeGin ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I'm honestly relieved to see others going through this. I've noticed the same thing, and had a discussion with a friend who said she had about herself as well. I'm going to my doctor soon anyway, so I'm going to mention it then (in the past I was too embarrassed to mention it, but I'm over that now and just want to fix it). Unfortunately I tried a couple other BC methods before going on the pill (IUD, mini-pill) with HORRIFIC side effects, so we will see what other options might work.

    I agree with PP about talking to your doctor. Hopefully they will have some other/better options for you.

    • Reply
  • MrsVoegs17
    VIP September 2017
    MrsVoegs17 ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    @RaeGin, I had awful problems on Mirena. I had ovarian cysts multiple times and when I had it removed I bled for 2.5 months straight (I guess my body was making up for 5 years of no periods?).

    @Ella, I think I'd try a different hormone first as I feel like my anxiety is managable.

    @Carrie, I've been really stressed lately and have been slacking on the gym. I used to go 3-4 times a week and I don't think I've made it there more than 4 times in the last month. Another reason for me to get back on track. I also work a desk job, and we've actually been temporarily displaced from our offices for the last year almost, and I sit in a room with fluorescent lights and no window by myself every day.

    • Reply
  • P
    Master April 2018
    Powers2 ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Sure it could be your BC.

    Talk to your doctor if a non hormonal option is right for you.

    • Reply
  • annakay511
    Master July 2015
    annakay511 ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I think it is a common side-effect of the pill! However, just some food for thought... I have felt a major decrease in my sex drive over the last 3-4 years and also have issues with wetness (sorry TMI!). BUT those are not issues I had when I was younger in my teens and early 20s when I was on the pill. Women's bodies are complicated... I think getting older (closer to my 30s), stress from work and daily life, confidence with my body and how I feel, etc. has played more of a role. I went off the pill in April after 12 years on it and its not like I had a sudden resurgence in my sex drive. So I would think about when exactly you noticed this decrease in your sex drive and whether or not its directly related to your pill, or it could be many other things.

    Just a word of advice, at the risk of sounding like a Duggar.... consider saying yes even if you're not in the mood. I always find that when I say yes, even if I didn't really feel like it at first, I always enjoy sex with my husband!! I usually don't orgasm just because it takes me a long time to get in that headspace, but it always feels good, and it creates that close sense of intimacy, and I am always glad that we did it. When men are constantly being shut down, eventually he is going to stop asking because no one likes feeling rejected!

    • Reply
  • MrsVoegs17
    VIP September 2017
    MrsVoegs17 ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    @AnnaKay, I'm right there with the wetness issue! The lube is my best friend. I think a lot of it has to do with getting older as well. I will be 28 this year, and my body is a lot different than it used to be. I also have issues reaching orgasm because for whatever reason I just can't focus on it enough to get in that head space. I usually always say yes but FH feels like I'm just not into it and gets upset because I never really initiate it. I too always enjoy it after we're done. He just gets so concerned because I don't orgasm every time and he thinks he isn't doing a good job, no matter how many times I tell him it's not as easy for women as it is for men!

    I'm so glad I'm not alone.

    • Reply
  • Kaitlynd
    Expert September 2017
    Kaitlynd ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I've been on the depo for 4.5 years now and have absolutely no sex drive whatsoever. I can "get there" but I'm not in the mood before hand and I would also not care if we only did it once a month. I also haven't had my had my period since I started the shot. This August is my last shot and then switching to the pill. I would've switched earlier but we don't use any other form of BC and haven't gotten pregnant through the 5 years of being together while on the shot. After we get married we don't really care if I happen to get pregnant on the pill, we would actually love it but we're shooting to TTC next spring so we can have a few months of being married together.

    • Reply
  • Jamie
    Super September 2017
    Jamie ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I was on the pill for like 5 years throughout college and I had the same thing. I could care less if we did anything once a month. Which of course made me feel like a horrible gf, I recently came off it in December and my drive has definitely gone up which FH is happy about, but we use other methods of contraception. I don't know if switching would help at all, but it's definitely worth looking into. Good luck.

    • Reply
  • Christine Lynn
    Super September 2017
    Christine Lynn ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I have the exact same thing. When we first got together, I was on same birth control back then, but since it was a new relationship, the sex was great. For about the last year / year 1/2 (we've been together for 3 years) we've also been in the same boat. I try explaining it to FH husband also, but he thinks I'm bsing. He doesn't get too upset, but obviously it bothers him. Guess he's just waiting for the day I'm off of it, which id refuse to do until marriage. Will probably get off of it a bit into our marriage when we're ok with the idea of kids. It's a hard situation!

    • Reply
  • Chip
    Master March 2018
    Chip ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    YES. My sex drive tanked when I was on BC.

    Other things I've noticed influence it:

    -Stress

    -When I haven't been exercising (double edged sword, feeling fat and not having those feel good endorphins)

    -When I've been eating bad (feeling fat, feeling uncomfortable from bloating)

    I would NOT recommend switching right now, but maybe a months after the wedding and things have settled back down into normal life - every time I switch BC brands, my emotions and moods were crazy for a month or so- you definitely don't need that around your wedding!

    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×

Related articles

WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Learn more

Groups

WeddingWire article topics